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Baseley09
13-04-2009, 07:39 PM
For whatever reason, weaker leagues, pushy agents or one wonder goal videos, the english league have seen some players where you truly wonder how they ever got a contract in this country, sometimes millions have been spent on these roaming mutants, which of them are among your faves, and a few words would be nice!


Andrea Silenzi (Notts forest), Italian meastro bought in to replace collymore, they might as well have replaced him with a hair rock mannequin.

Marco Boogers (West Ham), did an Andy Bogard against Man Utd IIRC and was never seen since, looked like a nazi.

Let em roll.

Oh_Mutants
13-04-2009, 07:44 PM
Marcelinho - Newcastle Utd

Cost us in excess of £5m, barely played a game & when he did he was ****. Spent two months out with a hurty thumb. Shipped him back to Spain for not a penny. Ugly bugger to boot.

In fact we have a history of buying **** centre backs... Boumsong, Bramble, Collocinni etc etc

jimtendo
13-04-2009, 08:07 PM
Andy van de Meyde:
Great for Ajax, but pish for every other else.

Andryiv Shevchenko:
loved the guy when he played for Dynamo Kiev/ AC Milan.... but by god, his glittering european career didnt half take a nosedive when he went the way of Chelsea.

Salif Diao:
After a great World Cup 2002 for Senegal, went to play for Liverpool... or did he?
i can't for the life of me remember him playing 2 straight games, because he was injured that much.

Eric Djemba-Djemba:
Supposed to be a long term replacement for Roy Keane... only if the kid could actually play some football would be nice, since he was very wayward, with, well, pretty much everything.

Massimo Taibi:
Probably a fishmonger in his previous days, since he could never really hold onto things.

Juan Seba Veron:
Marvelous for Sampdoria and Lazio, but for some reason or other, just couldn't play the game he played so well, when he was with Man Utd/ Chelsea.

Tomas Brolin:
All i remember was that he ate burgers, rather than play for Leeds. The fat bast...

ezee ryder
13-04-2009, 08:16 PM
Not really a proper signing as such but anyone remember William Prunier?! I think he played a couple of games for us (Man United) on trial and was never ever seen again. If my memory serves me right, he had an awful game against Spurs when we got spanked 4-1 at White Hart Lane in 1996. :lol:

Oh yeah and let's not forget the whole Laurent Blanc saga, he was so bad for us it was actually funny.

TonyDA
13-04-2009, 08:24 PM
Not really a proper signing as such but anyone remember William Prunier?! I think he played a couple of games for us (Man United) on trial and was never ever seen again. If my memory serves me right, he had an awful game against Spurs when we got spanked 4-1 at White Hart Lane in 1996. :lol:

Oh yeah and let's not forget the whole Laurent Blanc saga, he was so bad for us it was actually funny.

Your memory is correct - I wish Utd had kept Prunier, wheeling him out for their yearly visit to WHL, to be honest! :)

Sergei Rebrov springs to mind from a Tottenham perspective. Such a flop at ?11m he ended up at West Ham on a free.... ;)

Plough Boy
13-04-2009, 08:31 PM
I know he scored a critical goal when Liverpool won the European Cup but I never understood how Vladimir Smicer ever played Premier League football and especially for one of the bigger clubs.
Whenever I saw him he was utterly, utterly useless.

Kongster
13-04-2009, 08:35 PM
Shevchenko LOL

NemesiS
13-04-2009, 08:43 PM
Ali Dia, who was supposedly George Weahs cousin. Remember him. Souness brought him on as a sub for the saints then subbed him cos he was ****e :rofl:

Prunier was total crap

Jardel for Bolton was as fat as a jabba when he came

Morientes i seem to remember wasn't much kop either at Liverpool

Forlan was rubbish as well

Talking of Silenzi, didn't he go on to be really good in either Spain or Italy, a bit like Forlan?

Miguel007
13-04-2009, 09:00 PM
Marcelinho - Newcastle Utd

Cost us in excess of ?5m, barely played a game & when he did he was ****. Spent two months out with a hurty thumb. Shipped him back to Spain for not a penny. Ugly bugger to boot.

In fact we have a history of buying **** centre backs... Boumsong, Bramble, Collocinni etc etc

Not only them, add to that Albert Luque, Jon Dahl Tomasson, Xisco, Hugo Viana to name a few, we are in a league of our own when it comes to buying players.

VR46
13-04-2009, 09:05 PM
Shevchenko LOL

Exactly what I was going to say, he's really struggled at AC Milan this season also. Bet he wishes he could turn the clock back three years.

Oh_Mutants
13-04-2009, 09:18 PM
Not only them, add to that Albert Luque, Jon Dahl Tomasson, Xisco, Hugo Viana to name a few, we are in a league of our own when it comes to buying players.
The thing is i used to watch Luque regularly when he was at Betis and he looked class. Tomasson as well went on to great things after leaving us, Viana has done ok too. We just seem to have this habit of signing players who look decent, but can't cut it in the Premier League (ala Shevchenko).
Although to be fair, the likes of Owen, Smith, Butt, Viduka, Duff etc were established top class premier league players but seem to have done relatively f*** all for us :(

Zapp$ter
13-04-2009, 09:44 PM
You mean Deportivo right? I can't remember Luque playing for Betis. I remember him at Mallorca and Depor though.

Oh_Mutants
13-04-2009, 09:59 PM
You mean Deportivo right? I can't remember Luque playing for Betis. I remember him at Mallorca and Depor though.
Depor, that's right. Still had Marcelinho on my mind when i wrote that *shudder*. Betis were kind enough to take him off our hands.
Speaking of Deportivo, Tristan's another promising player who's career took a bit of a nose dive...

SharkSkin-Man
13-04-2009, 10:28 PM
Although to be fair, the likes of Owen, Smith, Butt, Viduka, Duff etc were established top class premier league players but seem to have done relatively f*** all for us :(

Seems a bit harsh on Owen that, no?
His goals:minutes ratio at Newcastle must be pretty tidy.

ezee ryder
13-04-2009, 10:44 PM
Gotta mention Bruno Cheyrou aka "The new Zidane". Turned out the only thing he had in common with the great Zizou was that he looked a bit like him (oh and they were both French). :lol:

rmoxon
13-04-2009, 11:17 PM
Owen is one of the few consistant players currently at newcastle id say, so including him in this thread at all is a bit harsh... Plus hes not foiriegn anyway, i thought this was about foriegn players? or am I wrong?

If its about british players too then Derby breaking the bank to sign Robert Earnshaw must be up there with the worst signings ever... They made a big deal about him being the main man who would keep Derby in the premier league when they signed him. He scored one goal for them and they broke the record for least points ever obtained ever in the league. Makes his signing pretty damn shocking on several levels really.

Oh_Mutants
13-04-2009, 11:29 PM
Seems a bit harsh on Owen that, no?
His goals:minutes ratio at Newcastle must be pretty tidy.
Perhaps it is a bit harsh, when Owen's fully fit he's still a great player, and i'm a huge fan. But Newcastle haven't seen Owen at his best for a long, long time (if at all). When you look at what he had done in his career prior to coming to us and what he has done since, well let's just say i don't think we've had our £16m+ out of him, particularly as we've supposedly had him in his 'best playing years' (26-29). Not to mention the cost of his wages. Great player for sure, but great signing? Definitely not :(

Edit - Am aware this is a 'Foreign signing thread', just got a bit sidetracked :D

Oh_Mutants
13-04-2009, 11:37 PM
Gotta mention Bruno Cheyrou aka "The new Zidane". Turned out the only thing he had in common with the great Zizou was that he looked a bit like him (oh and they were both French). :lol:
Liverpool made a number of dubious signings around around that time for ridiculous money if i remember correctly. Igor Biscan (?5-6m), El Hadj Diouf (?10m), the aforementioned Smicer. Kewell was probably the biggest disappointment of the lot though when you consider what a player he was at Leeds :thumbd:

Leon Retro
14-04-2009, 06:20 AM
Robinho needs to stop crying and join the Chelsea squad.

abigsmurf
14-04-2009, 07:41 AM
Shevchenko is by no way one of the biggest flops, 22 goals over two seasons whilst not amazing, isn't awful, there have been scores of signings that performed worse (~1goal per 3 games is only slightly worse than Rooney's career average). It's just too much was spent on him (I'd say about ?10mill too much) and the press hounded him constantly.

Baseley09
14-04-2009, 12:06 PM
Again side tracking, ahem, but although I was a big fan of this player, Chris Sutton to Chelsea (£10m ?) turned out abysmal, I remember him slipping twice through on goal in his first game against Sunderland, just didn't fit with what they were doing at the bridge.

Bosko Balaban? You wonder why after spening 6m or so, Gregory didn't play him at Villa, he seemed to score goals wherever he's been but didn't get a kick~?

abigsmurf
14-04-2009, 12:08 PM
Yep Chris Sutton was a record signing and was utterly useless for us.

Kongster
14-04-2009, 12:18 PM
Kleberson. Overrated and given way too much credit for his role in Brazil's 2002 World Cup triumph. That Brazil team weren't all that anyway. Klerberson was a flop at United.

Anderson, he is better than Kleberson.

Extra Terrestrial
14-04-2009, 12:30 PM
Fernando Morientes.

At the time, he was hailed as the new Henry or Van Nistelrooy in our league - lots of hype and anticipation surrounded him given his previous credentials at Real Madrid.

Unfortunately, the fairytale ended quite quickly. I think he played in about a dozen matches and scored two or three goals in all.

He just didn't 'work' in the Premier league whereas he was a hero, a saviour, at Real Madrid since the Spanish league suited his play style better, and more effectively too.

He wasn't awful, just an all rounded disappointment.

:(

SharkSkin-Man
14-04-2009, 12:38 PM
Morientes played 50-60 times for Liverpool I think, scored 12 goals.
Too slow and weak for the English game and too old to learn to adapt really, fantastic technique though which we got to see a few glimpses of.

Big Seany
15-04-2009, 06:51 PM
Agustin Delgado for Saints. Gilles De Bilde for Wednesday.

What about Nii Lamptey? He was a Ghana international who was meant to be the second coming of Christ. Bombed out at Villa.

prinnysquad
15-04-2009, 07:33 PM
Milton Nunez. A Honduran player bought for a million. One appearance for Sunderland, apparently Peter Reid Monkee Heed bought the wrong bloke.

Nicolas Medina. Bought for 3.5 mill by Monkee Heed, who called him the complete midfield player. I dunno who's midfield he was on about, because he never played in the first team. Nice one :thumb:

Tore Andre Flo. 6.75 million. 29 appearances, 4 goals. Monkee Heed!

Lilian Laslandes. 3.5 million. 12 appearances, 0 goals. Monkee Heed: 'the new Niall Quinn!'

MonkeySteve
16-04-2009, 12:10 PM
Morientes played 50-60 times for Liverpool I think, scored 12 goals.
Too slow and weak for the English game and too old to learn to adapt really, fantastic technique though which we got to see a few glimpses of.

Aye, I remember a particularly sweet strike against Charlton at The Valley.

Not big money by any means, but Pellegrino was a scary signing - he was so slow and clumsy at the back it was unreal. Even though he was basically back-up, I'd probably rather we had played with only ten men! Seems to be doing a good job as assistant now though - Benitez clearly saw something in him beyond his performances on the pitch.

Street Turk
16-04-2009, 12:53 PM
Haha!

Istvan Kozma-Souness bought him from Scotland....and another Souness classic: Torben Pieknik.

Sigh....Liverpool really have had some tosh.

Sean Dundee
Djimi Traore
Le Tallec
Ciisse was dreadful considering how much we paid....

A big disappointment was Litmanen-not for his performances but for the fact that Houllier never played him!

Jebus
16-04-2009, 12:59 PM
As a Liverpool fan, would you add Diouf to that list? Obviously was great for Bolton, but for Liverpool?

Street Turk
16-04-2009, 12:59 PM
Yeah, but somebody mentioned him earlier...

Baseley09
16-04-2009, 01:56 PM
Padavano at Palace, I watched him week in for Juventus in Serie A and europe, good player completely died at Selhurst.

Another Palace classic, Itzik Zohar!

abigsmurf
16-04-2009, 02:04 PM
Tore Andre Flo. 6.75 million. 29 appearances, 4 goals. Monkee Heed!


He did ok at chelsea, he was just very inconstant.

prinnysquad
16-04-2009, 02:11 PM
Oh, yeah he was fine for the Blues. Really rank at Sunderland though.

Pilotwings
16-04-2009, 02:40 PM
Joey bartanovich

Boumsong was not even funny though , I remember him being interviewed, saying that he listened to classical music.

Asylum
16-04-2009, 03:03 PM
Flo was alright for the fee we payed, wasn't a prolific scorer but scored a couple of important goals over the years, had a decent spell at Rangers too if I remember. Sunderland was definately where it all went wrong!

Haven't seen Winston Bogarde mentioned yet, has to be Chelsea's worst signing. He was on something like 40K a week back in 2000/2001 and stayed out his four year contract in reserves. Made about 10 first team appearences and couldn't even get loaned out :lol:

Hugo Viana was my first thought when I saw this thread though, has to be the single most worst signing considering his price tag and the fuss at the time, and then his completely rubbish appearences.

MisterBubbles
16-04-2009, 03:20 PM
my mate and myself were talking about this he's a Leeds Utd fan and he said Brolin and he scored 1 goal for them and cost 4.5 million heres how he scored

.Brolin scored his first goal for the club against Sheffield Wednesday on December 16, in which they lost 6-2! The goal was one of the most bizarre goals he had ever scored in his career, it came in the 28 minute as Leeds trailed 3-0, when Gary Kelly crossed from the right onto the head of Brolin, he managed to head the ball, and in a lapse in concentration in the Wednesday defence, they stood still, giving Brolin the time to challenge keeper Kevin Pressman for the ball. The ball hit the keeper and Brolin and was going goalwards until Wednesday defender Steve Nicol cleared it off the line, only to hit Brolin on the head as he lay on the ground and go into the net, however Brolin still celebrated in his usual style.

Kieran76
16-04-2009, 03:28 PM
Wim Jonk - Money grabbing stroller. Played 70 times for us, scored 3 goals and was lazy and uninterested throughout his time at Hillsborough.

Patrick Blondeau - Signed by top tv pundit and pervert David Pleat, he played only half a dozen games for us before slagging off the city, the club and the manager.

Wednesday have had dozens of players who have come in for the cash and done sod all. When we got relegated from the Premiership we had a wage bill of 18 million a year. No wonder we are still in such a mess 8 years laters.

Plough Boy
16-04-2009, 07:32 PM
How did I forget the Ipswich Town gem that was: Finidi George!?

The year after they finished 4th or 5th thanks to Marcus Stewart and his goals they signed this chump for a ridiculously large sum and he was gash.
In fact the only thing I remember positively about him was this song which reverberated around Portman Road at the time:

Finidi Oh Oh,
Finidi Oh Oh Oh Oh,
He comes from Africa,
He drives a big Tractor.

Repeat ad nauseum.

My flatmate at the time was elated with his signing initially and came back from the first game of the season singing it to me.
I particularly enjoyed singing it to him at the back end of the season as they got relegated. Great days.

abigsmurf
16-04-2009, 07:50 PM
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Ali Dia. So incredibly amusing, how the hell did he even get on the subs bench?

icarus0
16-04-2009, 08:09 PM
How did I forget the Ipswich Town gem that was: Finidi George!?

:D Good call - me and my mate still laugh about that to this day...

MonkeyJuggleDX
17-04-2009, 12:35 PM
Jared Borghetti :s

I'm quite surprised fat sam didn't try to sign Roger Milla or Francois Omam-Biyik!!!

Extra Terrestrial
17-04-2009, 06:15 PM
:D Good call - me and my mate still laugh about that to this day...

I'll be cheering Ipswich Town on at Carrow Road on Sunday afternoon!

:happy:

Will you be there mate?

icarus0
17-04-2009, 08:06 PM
I'll be cheering Ipswich Town on at Carrow Road on Sunday afternoon!

:happy:

Will you be there mate?

I don't think you'll see much of a game at Carrow Road on Sunday afternoon, fella... :p

Extra Terrestrial
18-04-2009, 09:55 AM
I don't think you'll see much of a game at Carrow Road on Sunday afternoon, fella... :p

Erm... Yeah.

:blush:

Let's rephrase the question: will you be at Portman Road on Sunday mate?

icarus0
18-04-2009, 03:22 PM
Nope won't be there myself as I didn't have enough away ticket stubs to qualify - that didn't stop a couple of my mates though who managed to get tickets for the home stand...

Will just have to resort to biting my fingernails while listening to it on the radio.

EJG1980
22-04-2009, 09:44 AM
From the mighty Spurs I nominate the even mightier H&#233;lder Postiga. Scored two goals for us, looked useless, and missed a sitter against the Gooners at the Library if I remember correctly.

Of course, after that he went on to help put England out of the Euros that summer by scoring the equaliser and one of the penalties in the QF against Portugal! Cheeky penalty too.

prinnysquad
22-04-2009, 01:03 PM
More quality from the Sunderland Archives:

Greg Halford - absolutely terrible player. Reading paid over 2 million for him, yet he made only 3 appearances. For any normal man this fact would set the alarm bells ringing, but not Big Roy. He decided to spalash out 3 and a half big ones on this unproven bag of toss. 8 appeareances later, he's off on loan to the Championship, never to darken the hallowed turf at the SOL again. So that's over 5 million quid on 11 appearances.

Michael Chopra - a Mag? At Sunderland? Ok..... But 5 million on a dude who wasn't even good enough to displace Shola Amoeba, and sold by the Barcodes for 500K a year earlier? I suppose 8 goals in 39 appearances isn't dire, but he will never, EVER be forgiven for bottling a shot against the Mags at 1-1 in the last few moments of the game.
Still reading the BBC sport report boils my piss:


However, the best chance of the lot fell to Michael Chopra, who broke free of the Newcastle defence but inexplicably attempted to square to Jones instead of shooting

This turd was quick enough to score at the SOL for the Mags a few years ago, no attempted sideways-pass there.