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Im in a mixed relationship - worth the hassel??

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    Im in a mixed relationship - worth the hassel??

    Seems like a good place to get good honest advice, in a mixed relationship - I can see a future together, so can she...not sure her parents can...
    Is it best to get out now?
    Last edited by gamez; 03-06-2009, 14:26. Reason: typo

    #2
    Mixed as in race or mixed as in good points and bad points?

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      #3
      Is it a religious/racial problem with the parents?

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        #4
        If you are having to question if your relationship is worth it (mixed or not) then I'd say it's not.

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          #5
          As in race, im thinking ahead saving a bigger heartbreak for both...

          Im white shes asian

          Typical parents attitude - what will people say?

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            #6
            Originally posted by gamez View Post
            Seems like a good place to get good honest advice, in a mixed relationship - I can see a future together, so can she...not sure her parents can...
            Is it best to get out now?
            Is it best to get out now?! That's the spirit!

            It doesn't matter (and if it does, it shouldn't) whether you or her are white, black or whatever! Love is blind so it doesn't see colour or anything else like that.

            If you really like the girl and she likes you then nothing else matters - who cares what her parents can "cope with"?! They need to get their backwards (racist?) minds out of their arses, and realise that mixed race relationships are perfectly normal and acceptable these days and have been for some time now.

            Although I do think that if you are questioning the relationship at this (early?) stage - really, your heart isn't in it anyway! Almost sounds like you've made your mind up already....

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              #7
              Well, it's not really as straightforward as that. Love doesn't see colour, no, but it does see cultural differences. Some cultures are a lot less compatible than others. I'm speaking about East Asian cultures really, cos those are the ones I have experience in, and of all the mixed race relationships i have come across in the last few years, between Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean, and British, most have ended unhappily. Parents' views ought to be inconsequential, but they are not. Especially if one partner has unwarranted levels of respect for their parents' backward views, things will swiftly become problematic.

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                #8
                Asian as in what dude? American type of Asian or UK type of Asian?

                112

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                  #9
                  been together 4 years...dont think I can leave her

                  her family is stressing her out, only thinking of her...looks like her parents will have to accept it

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                    #10
                    Have you considered marriage?

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                      #11
                      Someone recently said to me that if you go for a mixed race relationship, you have to consider the people it affects. In an ideal world everyone will get on like a house on fire and sing songs round the camp fire, whilst toasting their marshmellows........ But if you think about it, this could possibly alienate her from her family, or your own. It could also cause tension at future family gatherings - where you have only family who don't understand anothers culture and are somewhat sensitive toawrds it. I guess what you need to think about is you are strong enough to overcome all these factors and still maintain a healthy relationship; not to mention other external issues like other asian families disliking the obvious differences in society. Of course if you marry the girl and have kids, how will this affect the children in the future?

                      Have you asked what she thinks of it all?

                      112

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by 112 View Post
                        Someone recently said to me that if you go for a mixed race relationship, you have to consider the people it affects.
                        I can understand that but, for me, I'd be thinking, if it's right for you and right for her, go for it and everyone else will have to get over it.

                        The reality is that 112 is right - you don't just end up in a relationship with the single person, but also everyone who comes with them. But, when it comes down to it, the core has to be just the two of you and to make a choice based on anyone who isn't just you or her would seem wrong to me.

                        Unless you're not hugely bothered, in which case it's not worth the hassle. If you love her, though, and see your future with her, fight for her (don't kill anyone).

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                          #13
                          You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, I say if you love her then to hell with everybody else - its a tricky thing to find mate!

                          If you just like knocking her boots then maybe you should tread carefully.
                          Last edited by spagmasterswift; 03-06-2009, 15:25. Reason: Not 'knocker' thats something else altogether

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                            #14
                            It is always hard when families always believe in arranged marriage or marrying into same ethics origins.

                            As long you respects their religious and cuisine and their daughter. It is can't be a problem. Have you demonstrate how wonderful person you are to her family. Have you talked to each member of family separately to assure them.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Legendary View Post
                              As long you respects their religious and cuisine and their daughter.


                              "Respect the Haggis"

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