The Relationship Thread II: Lost in that Last Goodbye

[Blobcat]

Speaking of potential future wedding bells, joking obviously but seriously good luck!...

We are actually getting a move on with our wedding planning! Found a venue, the bloke has been awesome and booked registrar today but can't pay for someone to marry us until 12 months before the wedding and we've set a date for September next year. Price of venue has hiked up with the predicted guest numbers going up by 10 people now to 40 (invites at least, I'd be surprised if everyone can come, more likely around 30).

Once we confirm we can adjust the final cost to the predicted number of guests as apposed to the max it could be, deposit can be paid and we don't need to worry about much apart from loose a bit of weight and scope out a photographer. I don't plan to do serious dress shopping until near the end of the year but I will keep my eye out. Mainly thinking about what decor I should start making!

Family have all been surprisingly non-mental about wedding stuff (so far) since we last saw them to visit 5 venues up north as its a days drive away from where we live (but near our parents). My sister has been surprisingly awesome recently and has probably earned the title to be maid of honor even though I didn't plan of having any maids, but I like the idea my mum said about the three of us walking down together as my mum will be giving me away. Will be sorting our save the dates as soon as the deposit has been paid.

Scary, stressful and exciting. Looking forward to it being all over but trying to be as calm as you can when inviting and entertaining a load of people you rarely see! Should be worth it though, neither of us have backed out yet.

[kryss]

Phone number of the other girl though please.

Kirov's sloppy seconds...now accounting for most of south east Wales...

[eastyy]

Speaking of potential future wedding bells, joking obviously but seriously good luck!...

We are actually getting a move on with our wedding planning! Found a venue, the bloke has been awesome and booked registrar today but can't pay for someone to marry us until 12 months before the wedding and we've set a date for September next year. Price of venue has hiked up with the predicted guest numbers going up by 10 people now to 40 (invites at least, I'd be surprised if everyone can come, more likely around 30).

Once we confirm we can adjust the final cost to the predicted number of guests as apposed to the max it could be, deposit can be paid and we don't need to worry about much apart from loose a bit of weight and scope out a photographer. I don't plan to do serious dress shopping until near the end of the year but I will keep my eye out. Mainly thinking about what decor I should start making!

Family have all been surprisingly non-mental about wedding stuff (so far) since we last saw them to visit 5 venues up north as its a days drive away from where we live (but near our parents). My sister has been surprisingly awesome recently and has probably earned the title to be maid of honor even though I didn't plan of having any maids, but I like the idea my mum said about the three of us walking down together as my mum will be giving me away. Will be sorting our save the dates as soon as the deposit has been paid.

Scary, stressful and exciting. Looking forward to it being all over but trying to be as calm as you can when inviting and entertaining a load of people you rarely see! Should be worth it though, neither of us have backed out yet.

Pretty much what we had to do, only thing we had though was more people came to our reception then expected so had to set up additional tables and chair

[Blobcat]

Not likely to happen with us as venue is in middle of nowhere, as in, people will have to really go out of their way to get to the venue which is were both ceremony and reception will take place. We are mainly having immediate family and a couple of family friends and old friends there, its the other side of the country so unless anyone has a mad desire to spend 2 days driving up and down the country to see us, we are not having work colleagues over, we'll do our own stag/ hen do's with them.

I have one person, an ex-friend I really don't want to turn up un-invited. Total nut job that is somehow still friends with a girl I intended to invite with her husband. Only hesitant about inviting guest incase nutjob girl decides to tag along somehow to gate crash which will lead to both being out. Not likely to happen as venue is so remote but nut job has history of being a bitch in the past. Old friends, ey?

My mum has kindly paid for the deposit this morning so its officially booked! Feels more real now, like, this is super happening.

[Brad]

She told me earlier she’s deleted her dating apps as she wants to she where this goes

I think you’ve accidentally started dating Sean Connery.

[fishbowlhead]

Not likely to happen with us as venue is in middle of nowhere, as in, people will have to really go out of their way to get to the venue which is were both ceremony and reception will take place. We are mainly having immediate family and a couple of family friends and old friends there, its the other side of the country so unless anyone has a mad desire to spend 2 days driving up and down the country to see us, we are not having work colleagues over, we'll do our own stag/ hen do's with them.

I have one person, an ex-friend I really don't want to turn up un-invited. Total nut job that is somehow still friends with a girl I intended to invite with her husband. Only hesitant about inviting guest incase nutjob girl decides to tag along somehow to gate crash which will lead to both being out. Not likely to happen as venue is so remote but nut job has history of being a bitch in the past. Old friends, ey?

My mum has kindly paid for the deposit this morning so its officially booked! Feels more real now, like, this is super happening.

Looking forward to the marriage of your profiles to Blobsura, so we have to guess who’s posting in future.

[Brad]

Looking forward to the marriage of your profiles to Blobsura, so we have to guess who’s posting in future.

Italics everywhere? Asura.

[Colin]

I think you’ve accidentally started dating Sean Connery.

Worth logging in just to say this is ****ing brilliant.

[vanpeebles]

Looking forward to the marriage of your profiles to Blobsura, so we have to guess who’s posting in future.

Good job it’s not fammydodd or we would have a blobdodd and a fammycat.

[Blobcat]

Ok I laughed at that

[MrKirov]

Okay, need some advice folks.

I’ve been seeing this girl for two weeks. Things are going amazingly, she’s just fallen asleep on the sofa at my house after I cooked dinner, we had a few beers and she tried Resi 7 VR (this is the second girl- turns out she’s a closet nerd and likes games..!)

I couldn’t ask for more. She’s super into me, brings food and beer and starters and that when she knows I’m cooking. She even does the washing up for me! She texts when she’s not around, very complimentary, hot, great in bed- I don’t think a guy could ask for more. So far, it’s really great, and haven’t thought of another woman.

However- she’s around mine, we are comfortable talking, watching TV and games- but I can’t stop thinking about my old relationship? I mean. It’s what we used to do, but obviously 10 years on, it’s difficult not to compare- and part of me misses the comfort of being together for so long before? I don’t know why. It’s done, this is going great- but I can’t atop having the thoughts creep in about how it was even easier before because obviously we knew each other better, and it was... easier? I dunno.

I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, but the thought of missing it from
before is there, even though I’ve kind of got it again now?

Any advice folks?

[prinnysquad]

You’re not going to get that ease after two weeks. The fact you have some in such a short space of time is remarkable and proves it’s got something worth investing time and patience in. Think back to the first two weeks in the old relationship. Wasn’t all ease and comfort like it was after a year, was it?

You want Rome built in a day, man. Get your tool out and take your time.

[Dogg Thang]

Yep, Prinny is spot on. Also it will always be different. That’s the nature of relationships. It’s a good thing. You’re on a new path. It’s early days but it sounds good. Just go with the flow and enjoy it and see where it goes. Enjoy the moment.

[prinnysquad]

The problem here is you. I don’t want to come across all bellish, but you’ve said she’s basically perfect. Lower your expectations about how things should feel after five minutes. No wad in the world is going to feel like a comfy pair of slippers when you’ve only just peeled the sticker off the soles. It’s ok to compare and be frustrated by the lack of something, but when that something can only be achieved through time and patience, you really are going to have to chill a bit, and take things for what they are, and not what they aren’t. Remember - what you had before ended up not working, for whatever reason, so maybe different is actually good?

[MrKirov]

All fair points, and most likely very right.

This part is completely alien to me, so I keep second guessing myself, maybe out of worry for getting hurt? I don’t know.

But you’re right, the comfort and ease that I had after 10 years isn’t here, but after two weeks it’s not going to be! I guess I miss that a bit. As you said, what I have now is amazing enough to have happened and to feel this comfortable so quickly- , so I need to chill out I guess.

I think the fact I’ve been having to speak to the ex the past few days and out the start of selling the house- my current home- the one I spent a year trying to sort, and what helped drive me to all this is part of the reason too.

She’s very different to my ex. Perhaps that’s another reason I keep thinking about it, trying to ascertain if my thoughts are due to that, or the reasons you guys mentioned. But as you said, that’s probably actually a good thing. I knew it was happening before, but now it really feels like I’m restarting my whole life- and I’m apprehensive.