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Life as a Parent 2.4

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    #76
    We asked Harry the other day if he'd like another brother or sister. He said one of each.

    There is no way on Earth I'm having 4 kids!!

    If I'm honest I'm not sure I want anymore.

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      #77
      Having third kind of gives you the anxious feeling you have with the first. When we had our second we were so familiar and distracted by the first that it went by quite quickly and whilst stressful when both are all go it's more of the same. I suspect a third is the same again but it can't help but build the anxiousness up, probably not helped by the fact we'd then have three kids under 5 years of age by the time it'd likely arrive

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        #78
        When they outnumber you, you're finished. Even just getting into a car with three would be nightmarish. By all means go for it but, really, you're doomed and your life will never be right again. Well, hope everything goes great!

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          #79
          We rode out a mild sense of 'No' for a while but we have a limited window for a trilogy closing bambino if we want one as we're so dependent on my parents for child care and they can't do it forever which has kept it from being something we could put off for a few years. The driving force has been 'when we're older and the kids are grown up, will we regret not having one more' and it's probably a yes. Plus, both of them adore and obsess about their Mum... surely the next one will prefer me, right?... guys?!...

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            #80
            Of course! In all honesty, had we been a touch younger I would have love to have had three so I'm a little envious (risk factors were getting higher). Three is a good family. So yes, it's entirely realistic that you could regret it later if you don't try. That said, two is great too and I'm happy we have two healthy kids and so if three doesn't happen for you then that's fine too. But yeah, if you can, absolutely go for it.

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              #81
              That's the nice thing for number three. SFJr1 took two and half years to turn up so that naturally led to concerns over whether we could at the time, SFJr2 was much faster though and the opposite gender so it's slightly bewildering yet a great benefit to be at a point where the idea of having a third or what it could be is pure benefit at this point whether it happens or not.

              We've already looked into practical aspects like travelling by car (turns out there are some legal allowances given how few cars have enough space for three child seats), house room layouts etc. But yeah, those first four or more first sleepless months again... zoinks.

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                #82
                I don't have the mental capacity to cope with three children.
                Two nearly broke me, so kudos to those who have lots of kids.

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                  #83
                  I want as many kids as possible, however one is proving to be quite a challenge despite him being a good kid (no teething issues at all, he's always slept through the night, etc.). We have no family nearby for childcare or days off which I think is the big issue. My wife constantly looks after him all day with me frequently getting distracted to help out whilst I'm meant to be working. Two of him would likely require full attention from the both of us which is just not feasible in the slightest. As it stands I've only got around thirty heavily exhausted minutes per day for gaming once I finish my work at around midnight. Being self-employed and the sole earner we only get allowances for one day at daycare per week so we stump up ourselves for one more day on top of that.

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                    #84
                    Harry is proving to be a challenge at the moment.

                    3 back at the end of June and he's going through a really selfish phase which is mostly down to Nancy becoming more mobile and interacting with us rather than laying in her rocker chair thing.

                    He's also started acting up at bedtime whereas he used to brush teeth, get changed, have story and then just go to sleep it can now take 90 minutes + for him to stop calling out or demanding that we go see him.

                    Kids, eh?! Who'd 'ave 'em?!

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                      #85
                      Originally posted by teddymeow View Post
                      Harry is proving to be a challenge at the moment.

                      3 back at the end of June and he's going through a really selfish phase which is mostly down to Nancy becoming more mobile and interacting with us rather than laying in her rocker chair thing.

                      He's also started acting up at bedtime whereas he used to brush teeth, get changed, have story and then just go to sleep it can now take 90 minutes + for him to stop calling out or demanding that we go see him.

                      Kids, eh?! Who'd 'ave 'em?!
                      You could try a combination of time out and reward charts.

                      I had a template that I changed the background on, but try something like this:


                      He gets to put the sticker on and there's an agreed reward at the end for him to aim towards. Maybe a toy or a trip to McDonalds.
                      Discuss with him what he would like and what behaviour you expect from him to get a sticker.
                      "If you go straight to bed with no fuss, you'll get a sticker."
                      If there's something he likes or you want a picture of him on it, let me know and I'll knock you something up, Teddy, or eBay has loads.
                      Most people are motivated by the carrot rather than the stick, so why should kids be any different?

                      If he continues to misbehave, put him on a time out. Don't call it the "naughty step" as you want to avoid labelling him.
                      Also, remember it's his actions which are naughty, not him. Never say "You are a naughty boy".
                      Give him 3 minutes (he's 3 years old) and when time's up, get to his level, look him in the eye and say "Daddy loves you, but I put you in time out because... Now say sorry and give me a cuddle."
                      If he won't apologise, start again!
                      Try not to talk to him or even be in sight in that time, but wordlessly put him back on if he leaves the step.

                      It's really tough at first and it's easy to let bad behaviour pass for an easy life, but you have to persevere to win the war!

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                        #86
                        SfJr1 turned 3 late July and in the run up we had a lot of issues out of nowhere with him staying up messing about in his room and calling out to us till as late as 11:30, though still getting up early so he was losing sleep overall. For us the solution was that he'd essentially outgrown having any nap at all during the daytime. Sometimes he outruns himself and gets dozy too early but it's just a case of keeping him going as a 10m power nap can resurrect the issue. Broadly he's been spot on since. Our main thing of late is that he's been leaping along at last with his speech and is now testing his powers to answer back and see where it gets him, lot's of "Answer me now", "Hey, don't shout at me!" etc but I'm quick to put him back in his box as any suggestion to him its a laugh or a game and he'll double down on it.

                        SFJr2, well, she's picked up a lot from her brother. 16 months old and just starting to figure out the dangerous concept of climbing, but also starting to clearly understand things we're saying like we can say 'put that toy away in the box' and she'll do it.

                        The real issue, especially with pre-school imminent, is SFJr1's refusal to even consider potty training seriously

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                          #87
                          I've just put Harry to bed. Standard routine: potty, pyjamas, brush teeth, story, bed.

                          As I leave the room I turn around and say "night Harry, love you".

                          His reply... "Love you more!"

                          Broke me right there!

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                            #88
                            Harry’s latest FB post:

                            “Told dad I love him more. 500M PS4 CONFIRMED”

                            #gulliblegamerdads

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                              #89
                              Anyone else get frustrated with the constant excuses their children get when they're misbehaving.

                              Hungry
                              Tired
                              Overtired
                              Not well
                              Coming down with something
                              Recovering from something
                              Teething
                              Out of sorts
                              Out of routine

                              Anything but admit they're being unreasonable and naughty?

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                                #90
                                There often does seem to be an unwillingness on people to call out bad behaviour. I get frustrated with ours and how people respond to them as they'll aim to pacify or quickly dole out treats to cheer them up if they've been told off because the adult is so worried about the child not liking them anymore, selfish behaviour that just reinforces the bad behaviour. You tend to be in tune with your own kids, easily enough to know if they're ratty through hunger, overtiredness etc or just being a little bugger lol

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