Mind Games and Dating...

[Resonance]

I was wondering, how many of you find that when meeting women/men there are a tonne of mind-games? In the past few months I have had telephone games, attempted (and failed) emotional manipulation, lies, lame excuses and been lied to/about. The most funny thing is when you wise up to how some people are, it is like watching a really bad magician that does not realise the whole audience can see the cards up his sleeve.

Do you guys and gals find things are the same? I am just really curious as I am sort of stunned as to how many women I find myself having to just ignore after a while.

[Darwock]

To be brief, yes - it probably all comes from insecurity but after the umpteenth time I started to think that women were all just manipulative and power-crazed. It seemed like they all just want to test your jealousy.

Funnily enough I nearly walked away from my (now) fiancee after the first week of dating because I was so jaded. She sent me an email asking me what "seeing anybody" meant (she's Japanese), when I enquired why she told me that someone had asked her if she was seeing anybody, but wouldn't say who. I was so used to that stuff from women that my bull**** flag went up and I pretty much said kthxbye... not pausing to consider that she genuinely didn't know that expression.

I soon learned that with her, all the cards are on the table. If I hadn't met her, or if she had really been playing games then god knows, I might have ended up like Daragon!!

It's nothing to do with her being Japanese though, some of the most crazy and manipulative women I've ever met are here (including my fiancee's best friend :/ )

[NW2013]

What sort of thing have you experienced Resonance?

[nakamura]

Oh god, mind games and women seem to go hand in hand until I met my wife. She is a legend, straight as a die just like myself.

[Ady]

Interesting thread.

Until I met my GF who (I've now been with for over a year), like many, female mind games was something I'd encountered a fair bit. And it eventually got to a point where it seemed too much like hard work.

Consequently, when I met my girlfriend, I was initially quite cool because I expected her to play mind games, but once I realised she was actually genuine, I opened up. Even now, she asks why it took me so long to ask her out and doesn't understand that it was because I assumed she'd start playing cat and mouse and couldn't be bothered with the hassle.

I've never got the whole playing hard to get thing; pretending not to like someone you do like and deliberately turning down dates so as not to be too available etc etc... is it too easy to just be straight down the line?

This funny article sums it up beautifully. Though what's scary is the fact that people actually do this.

[Gruce]

I'm so desirable that women won't do anything to fluff their chances with me. Alpha male.

[dataDave]

Oh god, mind games and women seem to go hand in hand until I met my wife. She is a legend, straight as a die just like myself.

Same here, although we're not married. I couldn't handle mind-games of any kind.

[Resonance]

@StuM82 Just silly games, like asking you if they can hang out then ignoring your phone calls. When you ignore them they text you asking how you are... then don't return your calls.

Or they try to lead you on despite not telling you they have boyfriends or trying to do little disrespectful things or start arguments for no reason where despite all the facts supporting you, you are still wrong!

Or trying to take advantage of personal problems you have that they think make you emotionally vulnerable attempting it to manipulate you.

I could go on for an hour!

@Ady I wish you the article you linked to was complete satire but http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Time-Tes.../dp/0446602744 is a best selling book and is nearly identical to the article.

Check this guys videos out. http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDange.../3/wZHKCbHGlS0 he nails some of the nastier ones pretty well.

[QualityChimp]

Chapter 1:

Bring beer. Arrive naked.

[fishbowlhead]

I had a weird one a while ago, cut a long story short i met a chick that worked in a bank i use. She was massively into me so i left my number, we text for about 2 weeks before we get a chance to go out.

Thing was though, she would laugh her bollocks off at my jokes, say i make her laugh so much, call me charming, but when i paid her a few complements about her looks, body, smile, she would either ignore the compliment completely like it never happened or ask me not to say things like that (which instantly got my alarm bells ringing).

When we finally went out for a drink, she was cold all night, had one coke then when i dropped her off home she jumped out the car so quick i didn't even get a chance to blink. No thank you, no text to say i had a nice time, nothing.



Needless to say i didn't ask that one back out, and when she text me a few weeks later i asked her not to speak to me again as i think you have deep emotional problems who i have no desire to waste my time with ever again. Which thankfully did the trick.

And all my coupled up friends and family wonder why im happy single when i get attention from nutters like that

[Number45]

Some people just don't take compliments well. I know it's not something I'm terribly good at, daft as it sounds. I usually don't acknowledge them, preferring to talk about other things.

I'm not saying she wasn't a headcase, she might well have been, just thought it worth mentioning. There might have been a reason she was uncomfortable on the date as well - perhaps she'd not long been out of a difficult relationship?

[fishbowlhead]

Some people just don't take compliments well. I know it's not something I'm terribly good at, daft as it sounds. I usually don't acknowledge them, preferring to talk about other things.

I'm not saying she wasn't a headcase, she might well have been, just thought it worth mentioning. There might have been a reason she was uncomfortable on the date as well - perhaps she'd not long been out of a difficult relationship?

Tell me about it, she certainly couldn't handle (or want, who knows) compliments of any kind. Im going with headcase, lived on her own for quite a while, and from what i gathered about her over the course of the evening with good reason.


It was more the fact that i went out my way to be polite and nice to her only to have it thrown back in my face when i really didn't need to, very unappreciated on my part.

[Dirty Sanchez]

The mind games etc is just part of searching through the trash before you find someone worth sticking with. Life would be dull if it was all Mills and Boon from start to finish.

Get out there, break a few hearts, get burned, be the playa, get played.

[Decider-VT]

Jesus, the stories. One ex used to say something and deny ever saying it shortly afterwards. She'd also get funny with me if I didn't phone her every day and then slam me for being overbearing if I did. Couldn't win.

The gem was when we were on the cusp of breaking up. I met her in town and she interrupted our conversation by pulling out a Geology textbook from her degree course and asking me questions about riverbed erosion due to water flow. She had a go at me for not knowing the answers, so I said that she was doing the Geology degree, not me. She snapped the book shut and screamed "Well you f***ing should know!" and spent the rest of the afternoon in a huff.

Thankfully my wife doesn't play mind games at all. The closest she ever came to doing so was getting really annoyed at me for seeing me talk to another girl just after we'd started seeing each other. She didn't realise that I was talking to my mum as she only saw her from behind so she snapped out of it, apologised to me and introduced herself to my mum afterwards. Plain sailing since then.

[Resonance]

Innit! Lol. If you show some women any respect you are far too nice and they try to walk all over you, be an asshole... And you are an asshole! Lol glad it is not just me! Thanks for the replies.

Glad there are some normal women out there!