Game Manual Funnies

[replicant]

Hi guys

Been playing DOAxvb again today, and it is really growing on me. I hadnt really looked at the manual before and today I noticed this

"Rumour is that there are other shops on this island selling some pretty shady stuff..."

Now I don't know if Team Ninja's idea of "shady stuff" is the same as mine, but due to the context of the game I hope so:P Anyway I thought it was quite funny.

Gaming Manuals arent really the source of comedy moments, but I was wondering if there are any particular bad translations or "japlish" that you guys found funny.

/whisper anyone found the "shady" shops yet? Not that Im interested in taking Kasumi and Christie there of course

[Chadruharazzeb]

I always loved the pompous "Gentlemen, open your senses" speech from the Rez manual, particularly:

You can transform the world into your original Sounds, Light and Vibrations just by looking and shooting the enemies. You will discover the brand new time full of rhythm as well as ecstasy. The instinct "Rez" is now finally being released. Can you really tear yourself fromt his sense of trance?

And of course this from Devil May Cry:

His name is Dante, freelance task-taker in modern underworld. However, he has another occupation more extraordinary. With deadly swing of huge magic sword and with enchanted barrage from big double handguns, he slays blood thirst demons from the depths of burning Hell. Begging mercy of him, even a devil may cry. That's the hidden true identity of Dante

[Tokuda]

Not a game I know but translated from the Japanese GBA SP manual-

Do not play your SP while driving- it is dangerous to do so
Do not spill liquid onto it- it may damage it
Do not handle with wet hands- you may damage the SP
Do not drop your SP on the floor- it may break
Do not try to bend the metal plugs of your recharger
Do not close the SP on your fingers- you may hurt yourself
Do not put your SP in your back pocket- you may end up sitting on it and damaging it
Do not step on it- you may break your SP
Do not swing your SP round and round if you attach a cord to it- this is dangerous and may not only damage the SP but hurt others.

[overlord uk]

Not a bad translation, but funny nonetheless, from the Quantum Redshift manual:

Ever wonder what it's like to fly one of these babies? Just hold this picture up to your face, and run around the room at 900mph. (For added realism, ask a friend to shoot heat seaking missiles at you.)

[Ed-Epistaxis]

I believe it was the Caesar 3 (or maybe Caesar 2) manual that, during an explanation of a certain building, suddenly went :

"WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS ****?" (yes, in caps).

I don't think that was supposed to be in there

--Ed

[?pint]

The music CD 'awakening the world' by Lost Horizon.

(Their names are properly strange :S)

LOST HORIZON, THE BRINGER OF METAL SALVATION IS:

TRANSCENDENTAL PROTAGONIST

Poesy of spiritual enlightenment/the entire string romanticism/soulhealing euphoria generators.
Earthshape - Wojtek Lisicki
Translation for mortals - lyrics/guitars/synthesisers

COSMIC ANTAGONIST
Orchestrating of tunder & seismic harmonising
Earthshape - Martin Furangen
Translation for mortals - bass guitar

PRETERNATURAL TRANSMOGRIFYER
Keeping of the universe's pulse and taming of chaos.
Earthshape - Christian Nyquist
Translation for mortals - drums

ETHEREAL MAGNANIMUS
Laments of the souls and primal victorious warrior cries
Earthshape - Daniel Heiman
Translation for mortals - Vocals and screams

If you understand what they put; in the band, they're known as some seriously whacked out names. Then, at the back of the manual in small print, it deciphers it all for you. I found it funny.

[Sieg]

The manual for Bangai-o is very entertaining ... the character profiles in particular are very odd. For example :

Paikichi , spy
In the name of the Realm of Darkness he came to spy on the technology of the robots of the Cosmo Gang. He personally does not know his 8.6 billion colleagues who disappeared together with him. As such it happens that he steals secret information from his colleagues - perfect chaos ! He is always interested in the personal affairs of others.

Representative of Gimunema
He is the representative of Gimunema. He is completely convinced that 'Gimunema' is the finest food on earh and the solution to the future food shortage. His strength is his hobby because he can eat Gimunema on rice. His secret weapon only emerges when he eats Gimunema.

Core Cat (Neo Koa)
Another one of the useless characters at Core, a branch of the Cosmo Gang. When asked: "Can a cat be a guard dog?" the cat was redesigned at much time and at great cost. But it is and remains a cat and doesn't give a damned about what is happening in its environment.

... are some of the more sensible ones. There are about 25 or so. Some were apparently censored for the US version, like the teacher who wants to take the main character on a 'love trip', the weather-girl who had a 'wonderful and embarassing experience with two of her colleagues' and the actor who was 'so insulted about being asked to do a pot-noodle commercial that he stabbed the person responsible to death'....

Great stuff ^^. Great game too.

S.