Nervous breakdowns - any experience?

[DeathAdder]

I've also posted this on rllmuk, but I am really worried about my mother and would appreciate any insight that people can give.

Anyone have experience of nervous breakdowns from work-related stress? My poor old mum, age 66, has had one.

She seemed absolutely fine on the phone last Friday. Then out of the blue on Tuesday I got an e-mail from her saying that she couldn't cope at work, was about to be fired, and that it wouldn't be possible for my wife and me to visit in December for Christmas.

When I got home I phoned them, and my father informed me that she had had a complete breakdown. I spoke to her for a few minutes, but she wasn't herself at all, just sounded exhausted and not really saying anything. She hung up rather unexpectedly.

Yesterday my father e-mailed me with a bit more information. She keeps saying over and over that she is about to be sacked, and that they will have only 48 hours to leave the country (the UAE), neither of which are the case according to her bosses, with whom he has spoken. She is on sick leave for the next week at least. Meanwhile dad is having a hard time coping on his own.

I have made the point to both of them that their health is paramount, and that there is nothing wrong with calling time on their stint in the UAE and returning to England.

Really worried about mum. Do these things resolve themselves? Is there any chance that she might never return to her old self?

I am definitely going to visit them in the UAE myself in December. If she is better, then great. If not, then my dad will need a break from doing everything himself.

All insights welcome.

[charlesr]

I'm pretty sure she'll have times when she's fine and others when she won't be able to cope at all (and won't even know why).

She needs to learn the signs of impending dread and how to try and manage it. At least if she can spot it coming, she can start to figure out what works and what doesn't. It'll take a long time I'm guessing. I'm not an expert though.

[DeathAdder]

Thanks for the reply. She doesn't have many more years of work ahead of her, so if that is what caused it, I'm hoping that will be the end of it when she retires.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

So sorry to hear about your mums situation tomato.

I don't think i can give any advice but i have suffered with depression in the past, which has similar symptoms.

I think that you're doing the right thing going to see your folks as it'll help show that there are people who do care about her.

I hope your mum gets better soon mate

[DeathAdder]

Thanks Eddie. It's the suddenness of it as well as the fact that I don't know anything about this kind of condition that is making me worry so much.

I hope your depression is behind you now.

[Kit]

Yes, and it's not nice. I never want to experience what I went through last time again in my life. I basically cried for a good month straight (I'm not a crier type at all) and didn't eat and the only way I can describe the feeling is defeat with no way out/ hopelessness.

She needs positivity now and to be focusing her mind on things she gets enjoyment out of. Try to get to the route of the problem but don't dwell overly as I personally found this didn't help at all - if anything it prolonged things. You want solutions instead.

Yes, it does get better and in fact I'd say I'm near ****ing bullet proof in some respects after having mine.

[JazzFunk]

I had a bad un a decade back...mainly induced by quitting antidepressants cold turkey...truly lost myself for a bit, crying all the time, constantly suicidal, couldn't walk down a road without getting huge urges to throw myself in front of trucks, forgot where I lived, horrendous akathisia (look it up), most of all I became FRIGHTENED of everything, so strange for a guy who was a player for a notoriously rough rugby team at one point, it REDUCED me...but I'm ultimately f*cking thankful because I feel much improved as a result, I am a spawn of mad genetics, my emotions get me into trouble often, I get intensely depressed/hurt when I'm depressed/hurt but now seem to be able to deal with such matters with a great deal of humour, I have a laugh and go for a pint with great people rather than sit at home, ruminating and weeping (that **** gets ya nowhere!) but good peeps around one is THE way to go...you learn to love more because you realise who truly cares about you, and you wanna share this secret knowledge when one of your pals is in a similar ****ty situation...anyhoo, 'tis all good in the end, I feel so much more damn awesome than I did in 2003, f*ck it, I **KNOW** it now, the f*ckin' breakdown in hindsight was one of the defining factors in my (relative) success of being a happy person, I'm at least 78% happier in 2013, no bollocks pal!!!

She'll get through it (good people) and she'll come out forged in flame...life is all about getting XP and upping one's stats...and it's often lonely and horrible and ****...but there's ALWAYS fun to be had, it can never stay as bad as it seems because you just learn to deal with it...unless maybe you visited the docs one day and got diagnosed with full-blown HIV *AND* ball cancer in both balls, that might be a bit of a pisser.

Give her my love.

[JazzFunk]

Not only that, it makes you better at dealing with ****, get thru thangs much quicker.

[Kit]

fosure dawg.

[JazzFunk]

You have it REALLY bad mate...which is why moping is for biotches...you ever need a shoulder, just holla, we mates on Live, me have headset .

[JazzFunk]

PPS That ?5.99 budget PS1 Midas release of Runabout 2 really saved my life at the time, got it from Morrisons, too, I have a lot to thank my local shop for, that and 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', which was great at the time, they REALLY cheered my moping ass up!

[PaTaito]

You never get over it completely, the anxiety just calms over a lonnnng time. Something in her life is clearly doing her harm...if its the job, sack it off, at 66 she doesnt want to be gambling with her health.

Sorry to sound so blunt, but its the truth.

[DeathAdder]

Thanks everyone who has posted.

It's the weekend in Dubai, so Dad will phone later and with any luck I will be able to speak to her then.

She is on Valium and Prozac and Dad has also asked a hypnotherapist who is a family friend if she can help .

Really hoped it might clear up quickly, but from reading your posts, which are much appreciated, that seems unlikely. I hope things are better for those of you who have had them.

[J0e Musashi]

Valium and Prozac just make things worse IMO.

[Kit]

I'm still on anti depressants after 4 years. Unsure when or if I'll ever come off them but it's not exactly much hassle to have them in the morning.

The only thing that's knocked me since it all went to **** (crisis team. suicide attempt, basically me on a self destruct mission) has been that **** girl I liked and the stuff that happened around my birthday. Fairly sure anyone on earth would have taken a hit from that though.