Other parents and specifically other peoples children

[buster_broon]

I'm interested to find out fellow forumites views on other children and their parents

personally I pretty much detest other children, don't trust them and don't trust their parents to act accordingly to protect my child but maybe my views are a little extreme, when I take my daughter to soft play I stand close by just incase another child gets close so I can peoples elbow the little blighter if he hurts any of my children - these views have been put in stone due to a recent event in my daughters nursery

she has only been going for just over a month due to the over 3's free hours a week and she loves it and her speech and communication skills are coming on a treat but she is coming back home with bites, bruises and pinch marks on her arm's but last week she was playing with an older boy (age 4) who decided he wanted something she had and bit her in the face, luckily one of the teachers was right beside them and saw everything that happened and removed the boy before he broke her skin. both sets of parents are given a report where we sign to say we have been told what happened and are happy with the actions taken, I was fuming personally so decided the next day to go in and speak to the headmistress with a couple of issues I have.

The next day I spoke to the head asked if other marks had been made by the same child, now for legal reasons we aren't allowed to know which child did it but it was made clear other marks had been made by the same child, told them that if she came home with one more mark I was going to complain to the school, oftsted and raise a petition to remove the child from the nursery mainly due to the information she told me that:
he had abused other children
the boy had to have a teacher present with him at all times to protect others
the school was struggling to cope
they had warned other children to stay at a distance when playing

most of the issues above come from the fact the child has special needs (ADHD) but if all the processes above are in place maybe a regular nursery isn't the best place for him and he should be visiting a special needs nursery

the head also told me that the boy had told his mother that ellie had bitten his tummy first and he defended himself and what he did was reasonable and wanted all statements filed to state her son was attacked, apologies from us for having a disruptive daughter obviously a teacher was present for the complete event and dismisses the boys story - but the bloody cheek of it and that annoyed me just as much as the attack

so are some parents so stupid that they fully believe that their children always tell the truth?

we were called because ellie bit someone, the girl who she was meant to have bit had no mark and nobody saw it but when ellie was asked she said yes, but we also showed them that if you asked if she was a horses antler or something ridiculous she also said yes because her communication skills are just a little behind - but we took it on the chin and signed and accepted it - I know what she is capable of and is so submissive around other children she doesn't defend herself, she would just take the attack and do nothing, trying to teach her to punch and kick if she gets attacked was difficult and it still didn't work

just don't want to lose my temper and be in the local press for attacking his father and punching a special needs child in the face (only joking)

[prinnysquad]

so are some parents so stupid that they fully believe that their children always tell the truth?

Oh yes. The amount of thick kernts I come across who defend their little **** to the hilt and take it as some personal insult that their kid's in the wrong is unreal. After 20 minutes of chat they reveal that the lil bastard is a manipulative lying ****e at home too. Yet obviously at school they turn into angelic cherubs who can do no wrong. Tossers.

[kryss]

One of my nephews came home from nursery with scratches around his eyes because one of the other kids had wanted a toy he had and went straight for the eyes when they wouldn't give it up.

On the subject of parents, there was a couple of brothers in my high school whose mother was on the board of directors or some ****, so of course they could do no wrong and were complete c***s because of it. Parents will never believe other people over their own kids.

[buster_broon]

more angry that if the teacher wasn't present for the full event the boy would have still said what he said about ellie attacking him first and no action would have been taken as if there isn't an adult present its down to one child's version against another which is just wrong on so many levels

[Darwock]

I work with kids aged 3+ (younger kids in the same building but not my responsibility) in Japan and for the most part, they are little angels. Each class potentially has one or two troublemakers but the Japanese teachers are very much in control of those kids. However it's also worth noting that Japanese hoikuen (nursery) care is almost like a surrogate parent, such are the long hours and the responsibilities placed on the teachers. I've seen more than one kid call their teacher mummy (and I've been called daddy once).

Worst I have seen is a 4 year old who was having an argument with a friend who jumped the line for snack time... the other kid chose to ignore him completely and so out of frustration he went for a malicious crotch grab... I thought that was pretty weird and makes me wonder about his home environment.

I have some kids who are disruptive and despite the high level of discipline they have been receiving for 3-5 years at hoikuen, they have not changed. It's got to be something at home.

[Neon Ignition]

It just takes one walk around town to remind me that if people had to take a test in order to have children most would die childless. They're small kids being raised in a sea of selfishness, ignorance and stupidity. It genuinely feels refreshing when you meet someone who has a happy family situation with overall good kids.

[charlesr]

I don't get it. These kids must get no love at home. My kids have to earn politeness points to get anything they want and for being well behaved at bedtime etc. I also give them cuddles and kisses at bedtime (or during the day if need be) and tell them I love them at least once a day. Luckily they turned out ok.

[Dogg Thang]

I blame the Daily Mail.

[Mayhem]

Worst I have seen is a 4 year old who was having an argument with a friend who jumped the line for snack time... the other kid chose to ignore him completely and so out of frustration he went for a malicious crotch grab... I thought that was pretty weird and makes me wonder about his home environment.

Just wait until they are older and attempt to kancho you...

[gunrock]

Oh yes. The amount of thick kernts I come across who defend their little **** to the hilt and take it as some personal insult that their kid's in the wrong is unreal. After 20 minutes of chat they reveal that the lil bastard is a manipulative lying ****e at home too. Yet obviously at school they turn into angelic cherubs who can do no wrong. Tossers.

This I believe has it roots in the 1980s. Or maybe that's when I first noticed parents of the generation after mine (whose kids were of my generation) seemed to start with this "my boy/girl x would never have done y. I don't care if he/she admits they did. I'm telling you it's not possible that they did". Errrr, okay. My father assumed whatever was being said was probably true and would say to the person that he takes this very seriously and would sort it out. He'd say "now tell me what happened. And do not lie to me - I'll know. "

[k0pp0]

I generally dislike a lot of the parents at my sons school and many of the kids. The social divide for our village is quite large, and most of the poshest parents can barely muster a good morning when dropping the kids off.. I grew up in the village and know the value of saying hello and being polite. These people can't even summon up the courage to look at you.

There's a girl in my sons class (he's coming up 6) who is continuously obnoxious to many of the children and is a real gang leader. Honestly the things that come out of her mouth are like a horrible teenagers 100 best stroppy lines - she has 2 teenage siblings though.

Her parents are divorced, and her mum is shacked up with one of my old school pals, who himself was a bit of a sod but has turned his life around. The mum has freely admitted that she loves her child, but she was an accident - in a tone of voice that says 'this extra child has ruined my life'

The headmaster pulled 4 girls from my sons class in to his office the other day and bollocked them as they were supposedly caught trashing one of the toilets (one of the girls was the one mentioned above). After which he paraded them through each class room to apologise to the whole school . Make what you will of that.

And we've just heard that one of the boys in the class has taken to exposing himself to girls, however one of the girls who reported it to her mum is in the same group who trashed the bog. HER mum is on the school council and teaches teenagers at a school locally, knows her girl can be a bit of a sod but really cannot see just how naughty she is (we've looked after her so have seen it first hand).

The lad who has been whipping his tackle out has anger issues as well (again witnessed first hand), yet his parents give him everything. His dad works long hours and has admitted that he doesn't know how to 'deal' (ie: play) with his children.

Now. My son.. well. He says please and thank you. He never uses 'naughty' words, has never been on the naughty board (or whatever they use) in the classroom. He can be a bugger when he's excited but all the teachers love him and we've never had a bad word from any of the other parents (they tear pieces out of each other about the other kids).

We have a completely ineffectual head master at the school, up to 3 teachers job sharing in some classes (my sons for one) in addition to parents who would rather send their kids to every after school activity then spend time with their kids.

One last thing. I saw the wife of the School council governor drive off without one of her children the other day. One of her girls was also in the bog trashing gang.

Time to move.

[VR46]

Jesus, some bad stories above, my son goes to a special needs school, eight kids and five teachers per class (most have one to one support), but now and again they will last out due to frustration/not being able to explain what they want (the kids not the teachers), part of life with those with learning difficulties. Almost makes me pleased he's not in a class of 25+ kids.

So many kids are dragged up nowadays and it certainly reflects on how they act at school from a very early age.

Sure things have got worse in the five years since my daughter left school, and they were bad enough back then (talking about and all girls school in Romford with 1200 girls).

A strict teacher/headmaster/good area can make a world of difference. And all schools are worried about Ofsted reports and stats on attendance etc so it's in their interest to be/do the best they can. Hopefully.