Horror Stories from work

[charlesr]

A friend told me a story about working at a place where they make pressurised vessels for the oil industry. They lost a bolt in a pressure test and found it 800ft away embedded in the wall. It had dropped height by a couple of inches. Luckily no one was in the way.

I was working in McDonalds. The "fish counter" in the kitchen was attached to the wall, with all the stuff you need arranged on it for easy access. It fell off the wall. In slo-mo, I watched the Tartar sauce "gun" land on the floor with the extraction handle first. This forced the entire contents straight up, hitting the ceiling and then spattering out over the kitchen in a graceful "umbrella" of tartar sauce. It was pretty funny and disgusting at the same time.

I was working at the Transport Research laboratory. I did a retrofitted seatbelt test for a minibus. After firing the bus at a wall, the scene inside was carnage. On reviewing the footage on the ultra frames per second cameras, the seatbelts were fine, but the chairs which weren't designed with seatbelts in mind had just torn out of the floorpan. One of the dummies was decapitated by a flailing seatbelt too. It was funny and disgusting at the same time.

[smouty]

I'm sure most military people will have some terrible experiences but his is one of the more remarkable ones in that nobody was hurt.
I saw a Chinook - ZA 678 crash during a test after maintenance.
Parts of the aircraft damaged cars, buildings and some were found over a mile away but there were no casualties at all

http://www.ukserials.com/pdflosses/maas_19890724_za678.pdf

[Lebowski]

Got an uppercut off a robber once, it was when i worked in a offlicense, after my los pollos days, these guys came in with them see through plastic gloves you get at petrol stations, and asked for 10 B&H. (if i was gonna rob somewhere i would have asked for at least 20 maybe he liked the little packets).

After i gave them the cigs they pulled guns and pushed us in the back, demanding we open the safe. the safe that had big letters saying time lock safe on it, the girl i was working with was smacked in the face with the handle of the gun and forced to input the number, they asked why it wasn't opening the girl i was working with wasn't in a fit state to answer so I stepped in and said "it takes two hours to open as it has a time lock" i continued "but we have cash in the t" but he didn't let me finish telling him that there was money in the tills or the float box was out, he lost it and started punching me which you cant really do anything to when you have three other people pointing guns at you.

They then fled taking a cheap crate of vodka our own branded vodka and the ten B&H (probably about ?60 worth of stock) i will bullet point the mistakes that led to them being caught these guys where not the smartest:

• Used own car
• Stopping to pick up said see through gloves on a petrol station forecourt CCTV of car and suspects getting gloves
• Left said gloves on counter floor of our shop ect leaving the police with finger prints and cctv at the scene
• Rather than turn off the cctv vid and take it out the unit this was unlocked "lazy manager" they turned off the tv thinking this would stop the recording yeah because thats how recorders work
• Rather than get rid of packaging and delivery note they left it in the car which was found when police arrested them
• Fighting in court got them all ten years plus

police where really good and i got a lift to the hospital to check i didn't have a broken jaw and the management got me some gifts vouchers and gave me a bit of time of work paid too, they looked after there staff a lot better than los pollos ever did.

[charlesr]

Sounds like your face contributed to the betterment of society

[Lebowski]

Lol I'm just glad i can look at it and laugh at the chuckle brothers level of ineptitude these robbers had.

[wakka]

I came in this morning and there was no coffee left.


Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[QualityChimp]

Got an uppercut off a robber once

I'd be really let down and tell him to do it again properly if he didn't shout "Metsu shoryuken!" as he did it.

you cant really do anything to when you have three other people pointing guns at you.

Pffft... speak for yourself.

[hide][/hide]

[buster_broon]

was on one of her majesty's finest frigates in 1992 and the young officer decided it was too rough to smash the ship continuously on a RAS course (Replenishment) so decided to take it across the crest of a wave, which resulted in the ship rolling down the wave to an angle of 67 degrees and righting itself violently at the trough of the wave

the resulting thump tore the ships lynx from the flight deck and caused damage up the starboard side

teamwork 92 was brilliant, ships were taken out with waves going down the funnel and salt water taking out the main Olympus engines and onboard my ship trying to photocopy signals was a nightmare because the toner was shifting in the canister so much you had to photocopy when it was flat to get a full page

but in good stiff upper lip tradition we remained at sea and took the full brunt of the storm whilst the Americans in their floating islands hid in fjords for shelter

[buster_broon]

anyway unless a new thread is started here is something nice

1993 and the Geordie gunboat (HMS Newcastle) was on Falklands patrol and we went to South Georgia and tied up to the buoy in either Leith or Stromness and through the night it snowed that hard that it lay on the water, the next day we took a photo and it became the ships Christmas card awwww

[importaku]

Hmm horrors at work....

Well few months back someone in the womens bogs at work took a dump on the floor & someone else stood in it & walked it all up the corridoor. Nobody knows who it was but it was definately someone who works there, then again someone also took a dump in the sink of the disabled bogs the year before on reflection might have been same person.

Worst one that i was personally involved in is when a catagory 3 organism was identified at work on one of the culture plates, turned out it was brucella. Everyone who was in the lab at the time (including myself) had to goto an emergency clinic where they were given antibiotics & had blood tests done for the next 6 months yeah just loved been stabbed with a needle. Biohazard scenario & not a zombie in sight, capcom lied to me.

[fuse]

Hmm horrors at work....

Well few months back someone in the womens bogs at work took a dump on the floor & someone else stood in it & walked it all up the corridoor. Nobody knows who it was but it was definately someone who works there, then again someone also took a dump in the sink of the disabled bogs the year before on reflection might have been same person.

Worst one that i was personally involved in is when a catagory 3 organism was identified at work on one of the culture plates, turned out it was brucella. Everyone who was in the lab at the time (including myself) had to goto an emergency clinic where they were given antibiotics & had blood tests done for the next 6 months yeah just loved been stabbed with a needle. Biohazard scenario & not a zombie in sight, capcom lied to me.

I am just remembering the post from when that happened, speculating about how it got named

[gunrock]

One year when I worked at JP Morgan, it was a bad year for bonuses and I was working my support stint on the trading floor and the bogs got closed as some trader, unhappy at his sub seven figure bonus took a dump on the toilet floor.

Revolting animals.

[Dogg Thang]

I remember posting about this at the time and it's pretty much my only horror story about work. A few years ago, the water in the building stopped working completely, so the toilet wouldn't flush and there was no water in any sink. Quite a few people use the toilet and there was nowhere close enough to just pop out and use one elsewhere... I had to go for a twosies, had no choice in the matter but there was already a ahem, sample, in the toilet. So I put some toilet paper and just went over it.

Later on, it seemed I was only one of many. A health disaster, probably illegal for all kinds of safety laws but it took them a few days to sort the water and those were a very unpleasant few days.

[endo]

Not exactly a horror story, but several years ago I was in the upstairs bogs at work, happily parking my lunch. Now, these particular bogs were quite big but windowless, i.e. there was no natural light at all. Which became abundantly clear to me when someone else came in, used a bog, then left, switching the lights off on the way out. The prick. Didn't have my phone on me either, so I was left in total darkness. Made finishing off and getting out a bit more interesting.

My bro forwarded me an email years ago from his office at the time (quite big, lots of people in there). It had been sent by senior management and bemoaned the state of the (new) toilets. Poo, blood, jism, you name it, was on the floor, up the walls, everywhere. I just don't understand the mentality of people who do that sort of thing where they work.

[QualityChimp]

This thread is turning into Horror Stories From Work (involving poo)... :S