HELP ME GET THIS JOB!

[dataDave]

HELP ME GET THIS JOB!!

http://careers-gov-jobs.jobstreet.com.sg/Jobs/jobdesc.asp?aid=1&jid=91069534&did=33&gf=0

The Singapore censorship board need someone to basically play games prior to release and then write reports on their findings. This seems to require liaising with the developers and areas of the community. Like I'm not the ideal person for this!!

They've basically told me they can't offer me a position, so I'm kind of writing an appeal letter. This is where you guys come in. I've tried writing this out but I feel it needs more work, and as well as that I feel like I'm gushing a bit too much.

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Hello there,

I really appreciate the reply to my application, however I find it truly disheartening that I'm not being granted the chance to come and discuss the position in a more formal interview. I'm know I am the perfect candidate for this position, as well as this I have never been as enthusiastic about a job opening. (SOUNDS OKAY TO ME)

It was my pure lust for the video game industry that led me towards my career in interactive graphics design. Despite never working in the video game industry on a full-time basis I do have brief experience supplying textural artwork and assets as a remote intern. More recently I have extensive experience in management, as well as the management of projects spanning across the various companies I've worked. I have liaised with clients at an international level during my post as Project Manager at a digital marketing agency here in Singapore. I am a very well spoken individual, and pride myself in my person-to-person presentation and rapport building. (THIS MIGHT NOT BE TOO BAD)

I also believe my experience working within the education sector would prove invaluable when embracing the community aspects briefly mentioned in the job description. I am more than capable when communicating with all ages and races. On a cultural level I am well aware of Asian values and standards. (NEEDS CONTENT BECAUSE I'M MARRIED TO A CHINESE WOMAN, I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN ABOUT ASIAN VALUES DESPITE THAT, AND WOULD ALSO CLASS MYSELF AS A 'CHINESE FAMILY' MAN DUE TO BEING A PART OF ONE FOR FIVE YEARS)

Let's not forget to mention what this job role revolves around - video games. I would describe myself as a highly skilled gamer capable of scrutinising all forms of digital content at a record pace. With almost thirty years experience playing video games across practically 99% of all hardware platforms in existence I'm truly confident that I can digest content thoroughly and in record time. Unlike most professionals I'm not afraid to disclose that gaming is my number-one hobby. If I were to be chosen for this position I'd practically be working overtime every single breathing minute of my existence, and no job or task would be too large. (NEEDS HELP BECAUSE MAYBE I SOUND TOO EAGER)

I really hope this email can grant me the chance at coming to meet with you to discuss the position in more detail. I am certain you won't find anyone else who is anywhere near as enthusiastic as I am concerning this role.

Yours sincerely,
David.

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Any suggestions? Eternally grateful, even if I don't get the interview!

[gunrock]

Ok Dave. The bit about "being well aware of Asian values and standards" sounds a bit presumptuous or at worst a bit "colonial". I would rephrase it saying that "living and working in Singapore and also my through the relationship and subsequent marriage to my wife (who is Chinese-Singaporean), I have gained experience of and some insight into Singaporean culture and values, which have I have great respect for.

Or something like that.
All the best with it. I actually suspect you're not the right man for the job as I think they're looking for someone to support their censorship! But good luck Dave!

[gunrock]

You're right about the last paragraph, sounds way too desperate. I'd like to help more but I'm late for work and typing all this on my phone and walking with a broken foot. So maybe someone else can help.

[wakka]

Well take out all the parts in capital letters to start with.

Let's not forget to mention what this job role revolves around - video games.

Were I the employer I would find this a strange sentence in a cover letter. I would replace this with 'Regarding experience with videogames and other forms of interactive entertainment,'.

If I were to be chosen for this position I'd practically be working overtime every single breathing minute of my existence, and no job or task would be too large

OK this is a bit too much. 'I would bring unbridled enthusiasm to the role due to my longstanding enjoyment of videogames in my free time' would be OK, I think.

I would cut the paragraph about your love of videogames down significantly. I get that you want to get across the point that you're a super hardcore and experienced gamer that will know ****loads more about games than any other candidate, but it's a bit OTT and I think you might scare them off.

Let's hope you don't get the job and then have to ban Bayonetta 2 from Singapore for too much sexual content

[dataDave]

I've cut it all the way down since this morning, actually. I'm trying not to focus on the gaming part too much, and instead balance it with the reporting, management, and community aspects. Thanks for the feedback though - I'm using it.

[QualityChimp]

This job isn't for you, Double-D.

You'd never get through all the games they would give you because you'd be trying to 100%, SS-Rank, platinum, 1000G them all!

[dataDave]

Hello there,

I really appreciate the reply to my application, however I find it truly disheartening that I'm not being granted the chance to come and discuss the position in a more formal interview. I'm know I am the perfect candidate for this position, as well as this I have never been as enthusiastic about a job opening.

It was my love for the video game industry that led me towards my career in interactive graphics design. Despite never working for a video game company on a full-time basis I do have brief experience supplying textural artwork and assets as a remote intern. More recently I have extensive experience in management, as well as the management of projects spanning across the various companies I've worked for previously. I have liaised with clients at an international level during my post as Project Manager at a digital marketing agency here in Singapore. I am a very well spoken individual, and pride myself in my person-to-person presentation and rapport building.

I also believe my extensive experience working within the education sector would prove invaluable when embracing the community aspects briefly mentioned in the job description, as I am more than capable when communicating with all ages and races. From a cultural standpoint both living and working in Singapore has taught me great insight into Singaporean values, which I have great respect for.

Regarding experience with video games and other forms of interactive entertainment; with almost thirty years experience playing video games across practically 99% of all hardware platforms in existence I would bring unbridled enthusiasm to the role due to my longstanding enjoyment of video games as my main recreational hobby.

I really hope this email can grant me the chance at coming to meet with you to discuss the position in more detail. I am certain you won't find anyone else who is anywhere near as enthusiastic as I am in regards to this role.

Yours sincerely,
David.


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Sent. Let's see if they reply.

[dataDave]

This job isn't for you, Double-D.

You'd never get through all the games they would give you because you'd be trying to 100%, SS-Rank, platinum, 1000G them all!

Which would take me 20 hours like Revengeance did? What's the problem? That'd be two days work.

[VR46]

Good luck with it DD, sounds like your and many of ours dream jobs.

The only other thing I can think of would be offering to email them an example write up of findings on a game you've played recently, but that's really it.

[wakka]

Good luck Perfect Dave Zero.

[dvdx2]

Hello there,

I really appreciate the reply to my application, however I find it truly disheartening (THIS SOUNDS TOO EMOTIONAL ) that I'm not being granted the chance to come and discuss the position in a more formal interview. I'm know I am the perfect candidate for this position, (HOW DO YOU KNOW? THIS IS UNMEASURABLE AT THIS STAGE OF THE RECRUITMENT PROCESS) as well as this I have never been as enthusiastic about a job opening. (EVIDENCE?)

It was my love for the video game industry that led me towards my career in interactive graphics design. Despite never working for a video game company on a full-time basis (INTRODUCING A NEGATIVE, BIG NO-NO IN SELF MARKETING) I do have brief experience supplying textural artwork and assets as a remote intern (VERY LITTLE WEIGHTING). More recently I have extensive experience in management (SUCH AS?), as well as the management of projects spanning across the various companies I've worked for previously. I have liaised with clients at an international level during my post as Project Manager at a digital marketing agency here in Singapore. I am a very well spoken individual, and pride myself in my person-to-person presentation and rapport building.

I also believe my extensive experience working within the education sector would prove invaluable when embracing the community aspects (WHY?) briefly mentioned in the job description (REITERATING 'BRIEFLY' SOUNDS LIKE ITS NOT THAT IMPORTANT) , as I am more than capable when communicating with all ages and races (EVIDENCE?). From a cultural standpoint both living and working in Singapore has taught me great insight into Singaporean values, which I have great respect for.

Regarding experience with video games and other forms of interactive entertainment; with almost thirty years experience playing video games across practically 99% of all hardware platforms in existence (NOT FACTUAL) I would bring unbridled enthusiasm to the role due to my longstanding enjoyment of video games as my main recreational hobby. HOW DOES THIS TRACK RECORD OF EXPERIENCE, EQUATE TO KNOWLEDGE OF CENSORSHIP IN VIDEOGAMES - THEY ARE NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE HIGH SCORE

I really hope this email can grant me the chance at coming to meet with you to discuss the position in more detail. I am certain you won't find anyone else who is anywhere near as enthusiastic as I am in regards to this role (YOU ARE EFFECTIVELY SAYING THEY CANT DO THEIR JOB PROPERLY IF THEY DONT SELECT YOU - KEEP IT FACTUAL/EVIDENCE BASED)

Yours sincerely,
David.


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Sent. Let's see if they reply.

What no mention of TF101? :-)

You give no indication of your knowledge of censorship in entertainment (One of the key essential criteria for a job of this nature). Infact you havent even reflected the word in the letter. How has censorship affected videogaming in the last 30 years? Convince them of your knowledge. Research the topic online and reflect the language appropriately.

Also you talk alot about management. Is there management responsibility with this job? Perhaps focus on more of the skills that could be cross transferable to the new role.

I have also edited your letter (above) with prompts for consideration.

Try to back statements up with an example or evidence. A person saying they are 'perfect', can come across as over confident if not appropriately justified. It also leaves no room for development or progression. Lets be realistic - no one is perfect

[charlesr]

Reading now dude. Edit: was going to say similar to dvdx2 though - it's a job about evaluating a media for censorship, not about playing games.

[charlesr]

" I'm know I am the perfect candidate for this position, as well as this I have never been as enthusiastic about a job opening."

This is easy to mis-read as "I have never been enthusiastic.....". Something with positive words would be better, but I don't think it's relevant. The fact you are writing the letter shows you really want it.

[dataDave]

What no mention of TF101? :-)

You give no indication of your knowledge of censorship in entertainment (One of the key essential criteria for a job of this nature). Infact you havent even reflected the word in the letter. How has censorship affected videogaming in the last 30 years? Convince them of your knowledge. Research the topic online and reflect the language appropriately.

Also you talk alot about management. Is there management responsibility with this job? Perhaps focus on more of the skills that could be cross transferable to the new role.

I have also edited your letter (above) with prompts for consideration.

Try to back statements up with an example or evidence. A person saying they are wonderful or perfect, can come across as over confident if not appropriately justified.

I knew I should have waited before sending... Although I really had to get it out before 6pm.

Thanks anyway, it's much appreciated.

Charles, it very much is relevant considering how generally broken English (Singlish) can be out here. It's easy for these characters to get the wrong end of the stick.

Ah well, it's no big deal. It's not like I'm currently unemployed, and I can still take all this advice into consideration should I be lucky enough to be granted an interview.

[dvdx2]

I knew I should have waited before sending... Although I really had to get it out before 6pm.

Thanks anyway, it's much appreciated.

Charles, it very much is relevant considering how generally broken English (Singlish) can be out here. It's easy for these characters to get the wrong end of the stick.

Ah well, it's no big deal. It's not like I'm currently unemployed, and I can still take all this advice into consideration should I be lucky enough to be granted an interview.

no problem - i do alot of employability mentoring/career coaching, so give me a shout if you need any further support