I can't be arsed. I'm going to laze around and do sweet **** all tonight.
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Good man, doing nowt is a noble life. I am slighty pissed and am cooking a giant meatball sandwich while listening to fivelive and drinking vodka.
I am a king, worship me.Comment
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You truly know how to live.Comment
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\o/ That's what Christmas is about.Originally posted by IshComment
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Happy to given your goings onOriginally posted by Yoraths mullet
Legend - I can NEVER be arsed cooking pissed though - have left the grill on several times.Comment
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How quickly times change though, now I am slightly hungover wrapping Christmas presents.
Pity me.Comment
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Blonde`s Year in Review:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won`t fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won`t fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn`t find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn`t it???
October - Hate M &M`s.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn`t call 911....."duh".....there`s no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
What a year!!Comment
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I'm pitying!Originally posted by Yoraths mulletComment
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Pity?Originally posted by Yoraths mullet
You were off sick for the 360 launch and now appear to be off work again to wrap presents?
Who says teachers don't get it easy.
Merry Xmas :-)Comment
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I'm on a legitimate holdiay now.
And anyway, I no longer need pity as I have started drinking again.Comment
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Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!" They will usually panic and start scanning for viruses.
Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc. before they realize what has happened.
Another gem is to do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!
This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge. Stick in a floppy in their floppy drive. They will be unable to boot up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.
Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal configurations the audio CD will auto-play when windows first starts up. The person starting up their PC in the morning will definitely be embarrassed.
This is for that special person you just cant stand in the office, the one who talks on the phone all day with their boyfriend/girlfriend and gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to automatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor. Heads will roll!
Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decafe. Wait about three weeks (or until you think everybody has gotten over their caffeine addiction)and switch to espresso!
Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.
Pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.
With someone who is on the phone a lot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpiece inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpiece. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.
And finally...
Depending where you are at you may have a cafeteria in you place of work. Every week most of them put out a menu so you know what they are serving. Usually it is done on Word or Excel, and not extremely fancy. With a little work, matching fonts, and images you can make your own menus, and post them by your desk. We had one co-worker avoid the cafeteria for 2 weeks because of the selection "fish head stew" etc. before he caught on. Works great with picky eaters.Comment
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YES!
I have now officially finished work for the Xmas period! 8)Comment
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I will be finishing work in precisely 2 hrs and 54 minutes! cant wait
gonna go get blootered and play mario kart
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finish at 3pm myself but do get a 90 minute lunch break also
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I've been off a couple of days now. All I've done is sloth around, play a bit of Warcraft, and sleep. Perhaps go out for some beers tonight. Then again by about 7 sleeping will probably seem quite an appealing option,Comment
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