Course claims you can learn web development in 5 months

[MartyG]

That "kiddie nonsense" is going to teach you the fundamentals of variables, loops and procedure, the stuff you seem to be struggling to grasp. This isn't the matrix

[QualityChimp]

Scratch is great!

I started looking at it with my son, but we wanted to make awesome things straight away rather than work our way up to it.
We have a Carol Vorderman book, but went straight into making Super Slime Brothers and Optimus Racing, both of which we need to finish!

It's worth looking at, PP, because if it's all easy stuff, you can move on to something else more complex.

[monel]

Protocol Penguin there's an app by Google called Grasshopper that teaches Javascript basics in a game like format. I came across it yesterday. It is kiddie-ish using the term you described but it's fun.
I have a bunch of questions to ask everyone in this thread ill try and post later. Thanks for all your replies.

[replicashooter]

Methinks Protocol Penguins avy might actually be an accurate self portrait of him looking into this programming stuff as the one he can get is "nonsense" and the one he doesn't he "struggles to understand"

Can't draw a stick figure but want to paint the Mona Lisa, breh!

[Protocol Penguin]

[MENTION=7878]replicashooter[/MENTION] do you have to be like that? It’s fear if sneering, condescending attitudes like that which put people like me off asking questions. OF COURSE I don’t understand programming, I’m a beginner and I’ve never formally studied it. I would take a proper formal course if I could. People aren’t born with computer programming knowledge intrinsic to the human mind, it has to be learnt...

[wakka]

Thread of the week.

[replicashooter]

I'm actually trying to win the coveted Twat Of The Week award but aside from that everything I said stands because you actually have the front to say things like:

I just don't understand it. The books I've looked at obviously assume prior experience. I probably need taught instruction as a start, because the books I've looked at might as well be in another (actual) language.

I’m struggling to understand that after skimming it. Is there anything simpler, more suitable for beginners? As I’ve said before, I haven’t studied computer science at university.

Not interested in that kiddy nonsense. A decent free tutorial for the real stuff might help.

And act all prissy when people say that this may not be your forte because you come across like someone who wants to flick a switch and be all "I know programming" like this is The Matrix or something. I'm no sneering, condescending, unpleasant, antisocial computer nerd - far from it - but I have no problem calling a spade a spade or you a *CENSORED* because that is how you come across sounding like a *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* kid *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* because "*CENSORED*! I can't program and don't want to learn the basics *CENSORED*!" even though you've got a whole community of folk trying to help you here.

To extend your computer programming knowledge metaphor you're like a guy that speaks pidgin English as a 2nd language who goes around complaining that he can't compose Shakespeare and when someone hands him an "English for Dummies" guide he throws it at them and rants "Me no dummy, me Shakespeare" and as such remains up to his eyeballs in ignorance.

You won't learn a thing with that attitude and no one has to spoon feed you either so consider paying heed to what people have actually taken the time to share with the intent to help like this:

Umm, this might sound harsh but perhaps you should learn more about computers and terminology before you attempt to learn programming.

Buy some crappy old computer and try doing your own Linux install for example.

@Protocol Penguin: kryss wasn't attacking you. You have been demonstrating an incredible lack of interest in the subject whilst professing that it is something you want to do. You don't need Brad to tell you what an Open Source Project is, if you were interested you'd have googled it and found out. The reason you probably haven't learnt how to program is because it's not that interesting to you - which is okay but you need to face up to it.

Before this becomes another one of the "*CENSORED*, life is so unfair to me" moments that you'll *CENSORED* about in a few years like you did about your lack of qualifications earlier. Just a note all of programmers I know never had a qualification when they first started tinkering but what they did have was passion and motivation along with the willingness to start somewhere at a level they could comprehend and build on that whereas you just seem to be looking for excuses and things to blame for your situation.


- Sent from my HarshReality via a strong pimp hand

[Colin]

Some great and informed advice/suggestions in this thread guys, well played. It's starting to veer a little bit though so let's try to keep it all nice and civil, even if you can't see eye to eye on either side.

[Brad]

Just wanted to add that I was born with the ability to code lol. Kidding, kind of

[Protocol Penguin]

[MENTION=9865]Colin[/MENTION] are you going to let that unwarranted and unpleasant personal attack above stand? Completely misrepresenting what I’ve said – I had to restate I’m a beginner endlessly as I’m getting all kind of jargon thrown at me, a bit of understanding about that would help! That’s just reenforced my stereotypical impression that computer nerds are unhelpful and unpleasant...

[Protocol Penguin]

So if anyone wants to help rather than act unpleasant, help me on this...

Python: this is a beginners language, am I correct? Is it used to make apps, websites, programs, or potentially everything? What is the same and what is different from, say, HTML?

Linux: some computer OS? What has it to do with learning programming as such?

Javascript: this is code that operates as part of websites? Is it related to or similar to HTML?

[MartyG]

[MENTION=9865]Colin[/MENTION] are you going to let that unwarranted and unpleasant personal attack above stand? Completely misrepresenting what I’ve said – I had to restate I’m a beginner endlessly as I’m getting all kind of jargon thrown at me, a bit of understanding about that would help! That’s just reenforced my stereotypical impression that computer nerds are unhelpful and unpleasant...

No one is under the illusion you're a beginner - I'm afraid that jargon comes as part of the package because there is a lot of technical language in programming, so you have to learn the definitions - you've had plenty of helpful advise and links throughout this thread that do just that - the video course I linked explains the very basic fundamentals you need to learn yet you dismissed it.

Like the noob biker who buys a 1000cc sportbike and then wonders why they've woken up in a hedge - sometimes it's much better just to start with something smaller.

[kryss]

Linux is an operating system which span off Unix. Depending on how old you are, you can think of Linux as DOS. Later came the Graphical User Interface (GUI) and it started to look more like Windows.

HTML is the bare bones of a webpage, Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) add a look to HTML.
JavaScript is the magic that makes things happen on a browser without interacting with the website server(s).
* JavaScript is good to use to dabble with programming as all you need is a text editor and a web browser *

Python is a language...and I've not used it so can't really comment.

This is how I have things in my head, this may or may not be the whole (if simplified) truth.

[ZipZap]

So if anyone wants to help rather than act unpleasant, help me on this...

Python: this is a beginners language, am I correct? Is it used to make apps, websites, programs, or potentially everything? What is the same and what is different from, say, HTML?

Linux: some computer OS? What has it to do with learning programming as such?

Javascript: this is code that operates as part of websites? Is it related to or similar to HTML?

I know Kryss already explained these, but this would be my take.

HTML isn't a programming language, it's for describing the content of a web page. It's how you tell the browser which bits of a page should be a paragraph, or a link, where an image should go etc.

Javascript is a programming language that (in very simple terms) allows you to change the HTML, so when someone clicks a button (for example), you can make some content appear, or disappear, or anything else. If a webpage changes, without a reloading the whole thing, it was probably Javascript that did it.

Linux is an OS, don't worry about it.

None of the above really matters yet, just do some programming, any programming.

I believe Python is good for beginners. I don't really know what you can do with it. Google probably does, but you don't need to worry about that yet. Python will be fine as an entry point. There isn't one magical programming language that will serve you forever, but once you know how to program, you can switch between languages fairly easily, so it doesn't matter. Stop worrying about languages. Do some programming. Everything will start to make more sense then.

The tutorial I showed you explains Python in a lot of detail. If you don't understand it after skimming through, read it more carefully. It's not going to get much simpler than that, and you won't get good overnight.

You don't need formal training, I learnt how to program when I was still at primary school using a few issues of this:

http://www.bombjack.org/commodore/magazines/input/input.htm

Maybe you should download an emulator and give it a go

[charlesr]

Just wanted to add that I was born with the ability to code lol. Kidding, kind of

I could code before I was born.