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    Are you happy?

    And by that I mean really happy in the honest sense or do you live a life full of distraction, be it children, games, media, work, family etc... in order to mask the gnawing unhappiness that you feel inside but would prefer not to acknowledge? Or you can interpret it in any way you see fit or share whatever thoughts popped into your head or motivated you to click this thread as there are no right or wrong answers to this one, just discussion and perspectives.

    #2
    Peaks and troughs. Genuinely happy, almost exstatic at times, but swings the other way too.

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      #3
      Originally posted by charlesr View Post
      Peaks and troughs. Genuinely happy, almost exstatic at times, but swings the other way too.
      Could you sit quietly in a room with no distractions by yourself for 5 minutes? If so please do so and report back on how you feel after the experience.

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        #4
        Nope
        Definitely not, I tend to bury myself in activities (mostly the Gym) or spending money on Transformers figures to rebuy some feelings of my childhood when I was happier & enjoy the fleeting moments I get from reliving the time I had xxxx Transformer as a kid & the memories surrounding it

        Chloe keeps me occupied as well & out of everything she gives me a sense of being & fulfilment & I love watching her grow & learn but in the same breath she reminds me I am getting older & have achieved nothing of note
        Another thing she has taught me is that I now wish I had gone for a career involving children & wish I was a teacher

        It's a hard thing but some days I am lower than a hookers panties on a worknight but others I can get by better but at generally at least once a day I wish I was somewhere (anywhere) else & wish I had done things differently

        Neil

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          #5
          Originally posted by Soundwave View Post
          Nope
          Definitely not, I tend to bury myself in activities (mostly the Gym) or spending money on Transformers figures to rebuy some feelings of my childhood when I was happier & enjoy the fleeting moments I get from reliving the time I had xxxx Transformer as a kid & the memories surrounding it

          Chloe keeps me occupied as well & out of everything she gives me a sense of being & fulfilment & I love watching her grow & learn but in the same breath she reminds me I am getting older & have achieved nothing of note
          Another thing she has taught me is that I now wish I had gone for a career involving children & wish I was a teacher

          It's a hard thing but some days I am lower than a hookers panties on a worknight but others I can get by better but at generally at least once a day I wish I was somewhere (anywhere) else & wish I had done things differently

          Neil
          Thanks for being so honest and this is exactly what I had in mind when posting this thread. The point you've made is exceptionally salient and direct in regards to "rebuying childhood" or attempting to recapture the feeling of youth when potential lay ahead of you as so many people would lack the courage to admit that their life isn't where they hope/want/expect it to be.

          I recently watched Collateral and this scene:



          Is quite possibly the most powerful and brutally honest I've ever seen in any movie due to how real it is and seeing as this is a forum full of people who engage in distractions the thing I wondered is what is it about themselves they'd prefer not to see/feel/accept that drives them to continually seek something external or fleeting in order to attempt to recapture their essence?

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            #6
            This is the only question in life that matters, it is a question everyone will always ask themselves.

            It's taken me a long trek to reach a point where I could say I am 'happy'. Because I no longer criticise myself so hard and horribly. Up until my 30s was *terror* with depression and suicidality and extreme social anxiety, apathy. But I got so low there was either death or high.

            So high is the way. The twinkle in the eye comes back. Life is...absolutely NOT at the end if you feel you've reached the terminus but are still alive.

            Fight, FIGHT, don't let yourself die, this videogame we play is ours alone, it's precious.

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              #7
              Happy... more content. I'm one of those people who doesn't really mentally spend much time at either emotional end. I'm a bit too cynical and detached from things to get that hyped up to feel joyous about a lot of the things people do. But on the flip side, things can get me down especially if you get into a run of things going wrong but I find the idea of ever finding myself suffering from depression or such a bit... unlikely? Almost like there's a borderline inability there. It's somewhat socially influenced because UK life means I don't need to worry about the things many people in worse off countries do but I feel a little too self-aware of the state of things to get too down about them either. Would I love to be rich and never have to worry about anything? Sure I would, but I get that I'm in a damned sight better place than most of the world too so things could be endlessly worse, makes it hard to get that down about things.

              In terms of my interests, there's probably a sense of clinging onto childhood memories etc but it doesn't come from a place of misery or disappointment about adult life. I've never really held particular career ambitions in life so never had a bar to beat myself over failing to reach, I hoped to get a happy marriage and kids and I have that so any interest in games etc comes from a place of pure interest in them. I don't see them as childish things even though I was interested in them as a kid, they're just an hobby like any other albeit one more interesting that most choose such as kicking a bag of wind. I'm more of a Glass is Both Half Full and Empty kind of guy as I've been fortunate that both my childhood and adulthood have been quite consistent experiences without trauma. My view on it changes depending on who I'm talking to, able to take both the negative or positive stance rather than live life in one mode or the other.

              My missus finds it miserable that she'll get excited about something and I'm pretty indifferent, but envies that I don't suffer the downs in mood she does. It's a hard one, it quickly goes deep down a road about mental health and depression as a subject but for me when it comes to many peoples happiness I just wish people would stop worrying about stuff that doesn't matter and the majority of people's concerns don't. It's not in a cold way, people are genuinely down about wholly understandable bad things they're going through, but many spend their lives worrying about things that are problems but don't warrant the extent of concern expressed getting caught up in worrying about extreme what if's that don't come to pass.

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                #8
                I am happy but my downside is i am a workaholic, know i am but won't change it even though i know i should.

                So consequently all i do is work, 12 hr days most days, then Saturday mornings and Sunday evenings. i like it though, so i guess it makes me happy. Used to go cycling all the time, Krav Maga, swimming, gym, but because i can't get away from my desk they have all stopped. Still only 11 stone though, 5'10" so that helps mask the problem.

                Maybe i am just weird, might explain it.

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                  #9
                  Chances of us not being able to have kids and possibly ending up like the old guy from Up aside, I'd say I am happy.

                  I still have this obsessive drive to buy cool looking videogames and I doubt that'll go away. I obsess very quickly (currently it's emergency stuff for the car) but my wife verbally slaps me back to temporary sense. I have regrets about things I haven't done yet, like a bunch of things I didn't/couldn't do in Japan for various reasons *cough*paying for my ex's school fees*cough*, but I have time and opportunity to fix those int the future.

                  I just keep stocking up on balloons ready.

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                    #10
                    I think I am, thanks for asking!

                    My childhood was very happy, my late teenage years were unhappy after my Nan died and my family moved town and my early teens were content but I was emotionally stunted. What released me and truly made me open up was being diagnosed with Anxiety in my early 20's and that brought upon a sequence of events that made me who I am today. I went from being a happy but internally stressed and anxious teen over all social situations to someone who lost 5 stone, became relaxed and found out I can be who I am, and act how I feel inside.

                    Now I'm confident, feel happy about who I really am and can vocalise what I feel without worrying someone will judge me.

                    Away from that level of happiness, which is arguably the most important measure, am I happy about what I've achieved in life? I feel so. My dream was always to work in the games industry and I was fortunate enough to do that for nearly a decade, working in games testing, tools testing and design for my favourite Developer. Although that was fulfilling, it never paid the wages and gave me no security so I made the decision to leave and now work as a Software Tester. Nowhere near as sexy I hear you say but I get to work with cutting edge technology and I adore it. Not only that, but the company I work for is the best I've ever set foot in and treat us well so I feel very loyal.

                    I have hobbies like running, programming and cars that keep me entertained and even more importantly than all that? My Wife, who I love, fancy even more and she backs up my stupidity and is a partner in crime.

                    Do I have regrets? Yes, there's moments I've regretted (Should have been more loose when I was younger, maybe not turned down the job at McLaren along with other more serious things) but I've found life has forged me and I would not be as content and happy if I said yes or no to anything I've done in this life. I've worked my dream job, I've had some great girlfriends, great times with friends, been to some great parts of the world on holiday, asked the best girl in the world to marry me and smoked a cigar with a gangster in San Francisco who may have either had me killed or he was talking out of his arse.

                    Now I'm 33, I feel I have a different set of rules to my life; I want to keep doing well at work and help build our small little company into a force to be reckoned with, that's my drive. From that, me and my Wife work hard but enjoy our time off, and I want to keep visiting places on our bucket list and just enjoy life hand in hand. At some point, I might shift careers if I ever come into serious money but no matter if I don't, I just enjoy what's in front of me, as I know where I came from; Stuck in a room, surrounded by games and feel like I can't leave.

                    That part of me is locked away inside, and I don't ever want to go back there.
                    Last edited by Wools; 23-05-2018, 20:44.

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                      #11
                      9 replies and a 176 views eh.

                      Work with me people!

                      *claps hands and looks round room encouragingly*

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by Pavey View Post
                        I am happy but my downside is i am a workaholic, know i am but won't change it even though i know i should.
                        I have this problem. Whenever I get a day off it's like I finally have a chance to work on one of my personal projects. I have a problem, honestly.

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                          #13
                          It's like you're taking the words of Michael Scott to heart:

                          "They say on your deathbed, you never wish you spent more time at the office, but I will.

                          Got to be a lot better than a deathbed. I actually don't understand deathbeds.


                          I mean, who would buy that?"

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                            #14
                            Is anyone ever truly 100% happy with their lot in life? I doubt it.

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                              #15
                              This is not directed at you Colin, but I feel that telling people how they should feel is something that needs to be avoided. One example from myself was telling a Japanese student many (many) years ago that it wasn't enough for them to work in a shop, they should aim higher. Who the hell am I to tell them that?? I wish I could apologise for saying such a stupid thing.

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