Are you happy?

[Jaz]

Retiring to NZ! Living the dream right there.

Not my dream but its a lot better place to raise kids than most places I think. Certainly better than Shanghai which is where Ill move once the kids are at university or Singapore where I am now.

[MrKirov]

Thinking of things to keep me occupied this weekend. Pretty much games and movies.

[speedlolita]

International schools. 4 x my NZ salary. So 14 years is the equivalent of 56 years.

Plus some decent to great investments and a bit of luck.

Did you ever post pics of that shop with stacks of CIB SNES stuff?

[dataDave]

Not my dream but its a lot better place to raise kids than most places I think. Certainly better than Shanghai which is where Ill move once the kids are at university or Singapore where I am now.

I wouldn't even consider keeping a dog in Singapore.

[endo]

Did you ever post pics of that shop with stacks of CIB SNES stuff?

Wasn't there someone else who got all uppity when challenged about a mystical shop in Singapore packed to the rafters with new old-stock games for all sorts of systems? And totally saw his arse when challenged to produce pics and couldn't?

[dataDave]

I've never known of such a shop. The place is tiny, too. I'd mapped it all out mentally after about two weeks.

It's not the kind of place to keep games for that amount of time. The humidity totally ****s them. I never did get around to combatting that and as a result all of my WiiU cases are rippled. I should have gone digital, for sure.

[kryss]

Wasn't there someone else who got all uppity when challenged about a mystical shop in Singapore packed to the rafters with new old-stock games for all sorts of systems? And totally saw his arse when challenged to produce pics and couldn't?

Yup, I remember that. And the roasting they received afterwards.

[Jaz]

I've never known of such a shop. The place is tiny, too. I'd mapped it all out mentally after about two weeks.

It's not the kind of place to keep games for that amount of time. The humidity totally ****s them. I never did get around to combatting that and as a result all of my WiiU cases are rippled. I should have gone digital, for sure.

It was a store at Paya Lebar. Old lady was looking after a warehouse of really old stuff. A local guy on this site bought a tonne of it.

[Anpanman]

Been teaching overseas for 14 years. Just resigned. Heading back home to NZ to retire at 46. So yes I am happy

Good lad, chuffed for you.

[MrKirov]

So its been 3 weeks to the day that this all happened today.

As a complete mind f**k for you all, yesterday I went out on a date with a new girl for the first time in a decade...!!

I'll back the story up for you, as its somewhat of a Pulp Fiction-esque start at the end intro...

Ive been attending my CBT, ive been taking my meds. I've been going to work and doing well. My eating isnt great, im either eating crap, or nothing- and smoking loads more, but hey ho. I plan to return to the gym soon enough now the light is getting longer in the days.

CBT seems to be quite helpful in identifying ways of thinking, and triggers etc. Its a somewhat safe space, where I don't feel judged.

Anyways, last week at the two weeks mark I sent her a text saying what id been doing, what I wanted and all the rest. Pretty much baring my soul. The response I got a day later didnt really acknowledge any of those things, and talked about how I made her feel recently. I accepted that. However, within that text she said she was having problems with her car and wanted half the savings... considering I also noticed she had changed the just eat password that was linked to her card, and also that i've had no mail for her in three weeks- alarm bells were ringing.

She said she would be paying the mortgage and bills as normal when she is paid, and tried to say that she hadn't been able to think because of the issues with her car, and that solving her car problem would help her think.... more alarm bells. I said I wouldn't discuss money until she knows what she wants. Frankly, her half of the savings doesn't exist for many reasons, and also if we split and the house needs to go- that will be used to sell it before dumping any money anywhere.

The next day I felt a bit bad, thinking she might have a repair bill she cant pay etc, and not being able to get to work will only impact my finances. So I text again asking what was wrong. I had some talk about noises etc- but found she hadnt even taken it to the garage... I said I feel there's more important things right now, and to just take it and pay the repair bill in the short term. We text back and forth- the only time I was getting instant replies to messages in this whole time- when she was asking for money.

after some back and forth I told her I wouldn't discuss money until shes decided as there's reasons I wouldn't because I don't want it to be about money- and if I explained why it would cause more rows. Ultimately there's no point in me saying "you're not actually going to get anywhere near what you think" because it'll only cause rows.

Anyhoo, a week later I haven't heard a peep more.

So after that, it seems like the writing is on the wall, at least I feel that way. So I decided to get on Tinder. I've had an overwhelming amount of matches with really good looking girls ..!! Been chatting a lot, and getting a lot of confidence boosters from the compliments i'm getting.

I spend the past weekend chatting to one girl (moved to WhatsApp) pretty much constantly, and even had a 2 hour conversation on the phone. We met last night for drinks and things went well, received a lot of compliments which I was surprised at..!!

I was proud that I could still go out and do it, with no awkward silences, with being fun and chatty and myself. I don't think we will see each other again (that's a different story) but it seems i've at least made a good friend out of it..!!

So yeah, I decided to not mope. She is taking her time to decide what she wants, and I figured I would do that same. No harm in seeing what the single life is like- it might be mine outside of my own choice soon enough, so why not start now.

I'm just proud of myself for dragging myself up and out of this so far. I'm not sure how this is all going to play out yet, but i'm being positive that I can deal with it no matter what. Even to the point that i'm questioning if I would want to go back. The CBT, attention and clarity of mind is actually making me consider if the relationship was actually causing my anxiety, and perhaps I wasn't as happy as I thought?

Who knows..!!

[fishbowlhead]

Good job Kirov that’s the spirit.

[Dogg Thang]

Well that's a big shift and a fairly massive breakthrough. How it all plays out from here is completely open and it could go so many ways but this is all good stuff.

[MrKirov]

Well that's a big shift and a fairly massive breakthrough. How it all plays out from here is completely open and it could go so many ways but this is all good stuff.

I'm just fed up of moping. What will be will be, essentially- i'm f**king single right now, out of the blue. She left me high and dry without so much as a heads up, so i'm not feeling guilty. im spending my time deciding if I WANT to go back into the relationship, and gaining new confidence through it- so why should I give all the power and control to her?

I think she thought i would have done anything to get her back and just gave her money for a new car- sadly, she'd played those cards wrong, as the time I had away actually has made me change. A week prior, I might have!

So yeah, f**k it, i'm responsible for my actions, but not for hers. The way she did it, and continues to ghost me, is wrong. I don't feel there's any love there anymore. So why the hell should I put my life on hold for the whim of her?

I don't know what I want currently from dating etc, but i'm just chatting to girls, going on dates to have some fun, see what the life is like, and see where the wind takes me.

I've been on less than a week and already had a good date, so I cant complain at that, at least!!

[MrKirov]

I'm interested to see what you guys think of my actions and stuff if i'm honest. You guys have already been really honest with me, so I appreciate the input.

I'm doing my best. I met some mates for lunch yesterday and was told they thought I was happier than they'd seen me in months?! It a mind f**k haha.

The date was weird too, that doesn't help. It was only a Tinder date at the end of the day, but we met, spend 5-6 hours in the pub really happy. Conversation was flowing, we were laughing, it was all good, and she even said she wanted to see me again there and then. Then we went for a walk and to another pub, she got a little tipsy and we started talking about bad sexual experiences. She got embarrassed at what she was saying and said she had to go before she said anymore haha

When we left to the car park she said I really made her laugh and that I was cool but there was no spark. I was surprised as it was a 180 from earlier, then I text afterwards to thank her for the night and the company- and she said the reason for the no spark was in part that she was embarrassed by what she said?! I didn't even care hahaha

It is what it is though, just making me realise how hard this dating lark might be haha!

[Neon Ignition]

To be honest, the second you started detailing the discussions about the car repair the alarm bell started to ring. If she's only interested in talking to you about what material elements she can get from you and never about your relationship, and you've started dating (which for many would be its own roadblock in getting back together) then it seems like you're on the road to fresher pastures and as it's having benefits for you you're best off wholesale treating this as a fresh start here onwards.