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    I've been meditating pretty much every day since the start of the year. I used to, but I guess life made me forget.
    Anyway I feel much better. I feel in control of my mind and even have an understanding of where my thoughts are coming from.

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      Not particularly at the moment.

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        I need to get back on the meditating. It's been nineteen years since I last proper went for it, these days I need to discipline myself because of the numerous distractions modern life offers. But it's gooooood, when you get into it.

        Bar the dystopian ish in the background, I'm quite happy, it helps that my team at work is fully harmonic and, well, we're bloody brill and it's a joy to work with these blokes. Never any stress at all!

        Yeah, up until late last year we had a right lazy, negative dwad on the crew. Just a sour, abrasive turd. I didn't hate the bloke, I more felt sorry for him, he was just toxic wherever he was. Luckily he said a silly thing at a pub to someone, they were filming, and now we've got a MILES better bloke in his place.

        Yeah. Harmonic. That's what it is. Love my team!!!

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          Also, loads of great, great pals. I'm lucky to have 'em.

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            Fun rant at the start.

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              Just seen my girlfriend for the first time in 5 months!

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                Originally posted by teddymeow View Post
                Not particularly at the moment.
                What's up? Anything you want to talk about?

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                  Yeah, get it off your chest mate. I sense a swelling of warmth in the forum and I don't mean in my pants.

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                    Originally posted by speedlolita View Post
                    Just seen my girlfriend for the first time in 5 months!

                    Great news!!!

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                      In a scale of 0-10:

                      1

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                        Always great to see another fan of the greatest video game show in the history of human civilization.

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                          Originally posted by hudson View Post
                          Always great to see another fan of the greatest video game show in the history of human civilization.
                          Just watched the vid about his artwork. Them painted denim jackets, wow, inspiring!

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                            Originally posted by JazzFunk View Post
                            Lol. I forgot I wrote that. What a sanctimonious git I am.

                            I tend to be a 'rhino' as I find getting stuff out in the open first helps get past a problem quicker, stop it festering and getting worse. Sometimes all ya need is a bit of shock and awe, a few bruised egos, a shaking of hands, then you're all mates again.

                            Much easier to talk stuff out than hate each other. Believe me, I work with some stubborn, mad dudes. Lol. Serious mentalists.
                            I find that whenever we speak from the heart, it often comes across the wrong way and sounds different to what we feel and intended. Nonetheless, it remains preferable to the alternative of letting the mind run our every expression and sounding robotic, all cold and hard and logical, no heart, no spirit, no warmth.
                            Last edited by Zen Monkey; 06-04-2021, 13:29.

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                              Thought I'll ask as it's been awhile; How we all feeling?

                              2020 Lockdown was both awful and great for me. Aside from the awful **** going on in the world at the time (And my Mrs is a Nurse so saw it all) my mental health since lock down has been fantastic.

                              I've done well for myself at work financially and being able to work from home has been a god send, forever changing my relationship with work. I no longer have to commute so have so much more free time, when I'm having a hard day mentally or physically I can still cope working and I was able to spend more time working on my mental and physical health by bringing meditation into my daily routine and a lunchtime walk or run is a daily occurrence. Also, when I do meet friends, family or co-workers, I can tell how more excited and relaxed I am. My long term issues of social anxiety and catastrophising really are healing.

                              However, because I'm in a safe little bubble of my house, I've started to notice that I'm struggling with catastrophising; From a small inconvenience to an existential worry, whereas before I would internalise it and constantly stress, now I'm aware I'm doing it. Great right? Well, no, as other parts of my life are great and my old therapist cottoned onto it, I'm now very aware when I start stressing over the smallest ****ing things and then it spirals to my whole brain power (Which isn't much to be fair) is taken up with a small bloody issue. It gets so bad, I retreat into myself and think it's going to be the worst thing imaginable. Except of course it won't. And if it did, who ****ing cares, we'll sort it!

                              But it's not easy to get myself out of those spirals anymore, without getting depressed and worrying so much over hours or days. It's got to a point, positive I must say, where I may pick up the phone to my old therapist and try to tackle this issue of my psyche.

                              It's frustrating as I felt I got a handle on my social anxiety and have so many more friends and acquittances, the difference between my 20 year old self and nearly 40 year old self is epic. But the recently diagnosed catastrophising trait of my personality is still revving at 11,000 rpm. I really want to get this **** sorted. Quick Batman, to the therapist!

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                                I’m buzzing my tits off.

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