Are you happy?

[JazzFunk]

Kiss me like I'm dying of ebola.


(FARTS)

[randombs]

**** my life once again.

**** your hand, more like.

Get some lotion and hit the spank bank.

[dvdx2]

Un oh....

Jazzys on the ‘special’ ciggys!

[MrKirov]

Okay, I came on to say thank you all for reading my constant ramblings. I’m having a tough time and dating isn’t helping.

You’ve all been amazing with your advice, and listening ears. I truly thank you all for it. It’s genuinely been a good, safe outlet for me, and knowing you guys are reading makes me feel so much better.

But yeah, I’m aware I’m rambling thoughts, and I guess from the above it’s turning into a bit of a joke now, so I’ll not post quite so much- I don’t want to annoy anyone, highjack the thread, and I don’t want to turn into some forum joke.

Sorry if it’s been too much, I’ll still update- just try to do it a bit less

[QualityChimp]

Sorry I couldn't find my headset last night!

Basically, we're all cheering for you after seeing the low position you were in after your cat and girlfriend moved out (listed in order of importance ).

In the space of a month, you've started a new prescription, gotten your teeth into a new job, been on a load of dates and surprised yourself in lots of ways. Keep that momentum up, but take time to analyse where you want to be right now.
You don't have to be in a relationship and if you continue going on dates, ask yourself why.

If you're looking to form a longer-term relationship, it might be worth investing in a paid online dating site, rather than the free swipey hookup ones.

This thread needs to be a safe space, so post as much as you like, but I also think it's important we're honest with each other, or it's just pointless back-slapping.

Obviously, you might need to filter which advice you take, like Jazz's request for a kiss and Randombs' suggestion to visit the spank bank...

[Neon Ignition]

I won't lie, I've been sitting this thread out for a bit as the whole world of dating thing... it's not my area of expertise, when single I was always rubbish at it, it's a miracle of sorts I was only single for 4 years out of a period of knocking 20.

So, reading back over the last few pages feels fairly enlightening and honestly, forgive me if this sounds wide of the mark.

I don't think that dating is really the best thing for you at the current time, or at least that's the impression I get from your posts. At face value it sounds like a great time is being had but there's a sense that your posts from yesterday were waiting to happen and they make a lot of sense when stacked against the situation you're in.

Going on loads of dates with good looking women is going to be obviously self-validating but that one woman not wanting to carry on seeing you shouldn't have the impact on you that it has done. Sure there's the description of how well you got on etc but in the same posts you go on to describe around four more dates with four other women you have lined up which aren't the words of someone that invested in any particular person. What it reads more like is that you had a great time but her backing off is the first direct rejection you've had and that's too close to home given what happened with your ex. She's basically said 'not for me' and carried on dating, it shouldn't be taken personal because it's exactly what you're doing yourself and is how dating works in the first days.

That you have a line of dates conveyor belted up gives the impression that you want to feel you're getting out there and moving on but not in a way that is meaningful. Everything has moved so fast you've barely come up for air and like you say, you still don't even have final closure from your ex which is why it's so easy for these dates to knock you back.

Essentially, what I'm saying is, you clearly don't have any troubles in the dating pool so you don't need to worry about whether you'll be able to meet someone right for you at a time that's right for you. I'd take a breather, slow things down and carry on taking stock of things otherwise you risk getting knocked back in yourself as these things happen or other things come up like your ex getting on with someone else in time etc

[fishbowlhead]

Kirov i'm going to be straight with you. Any woman on a dating site, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, is looking for mr perfect, they are always on the hunt for that 10/10. Now we know that doesn't exist, the perfect person, but even still that's the way it goes, its just hardwired.

However, If people start messing you around, just cut anchor and move on, especially when they behave like your last date, its unacceptable.

You have the right to be happy in yourself and if others are making you not, then that may be the problem.

Also probably don't take jazzy's 3am advice

[MrKirov]

Both sound advice. And both that im goign to agree and take stock of.

I think im not ready for more of this dating stuff. After these two this week, im goign to give it a miss for a while. I'll also break it off with my friend with benefits as I dont want to lead her on- in Aragorns words "I cannot give you what you seek".

I just find the lack of honesty difficult. Im an honest person, I say what I think. When others dont and make these considerable lies to make life easier for them, or in an attempt for me- it just feels hurtful. They dont owe me anything, so thats fine. But I just dont get it.

In this case, I think you're right that I take a break and find some time for myself. Get closure sorted, and persue stuff later.

[fishbowlhead]

You also need total closure from your ex as well. Get that all sorted, done and nocked on the head for good. That will give you some mental peace of mind that’s its behind you.

Then do as you please. Sod everyone else. If something is meant to be it will happen without the aid of a dating site.

[QualityChimp]

I mean, this ties up perfectly, doesn't it.

You're single and have time on your hands just as EDF: Iron Rain comes out...

[MrKirov]

Sounds good actually!! You’d have to find your mic though...

My ex being a bellend, refusing to meet in person and only wants comma to be through email or text- wtf??!! Makes me feel like some abusing ogre or something. Ridiculous.

I said that it’s ridiculous, and that we’ve got a lot to sort, and we will have to meet at some time- so stop being a bellend.

[JazzFunk]

They're all right about NOT taking my 3am advice and I WAS on the special ciggies.

I am an idiot. But am told a nice one. Just don't overanalyse too much.

[Mayhem]

If you're looking to form a longer-term relationship, it might be worth investing in a paid online dating site, rather than the free swipey hookup ones.

If it's one thing I'll say, then it's this, but that's no slam dunk either if my experiences of finally reaching my current partner was anything to go by. I'll agree, women are kooky and unpredictable and I've had the door slammed in my face a couple of times during dating when I've thought everything was going brilliantly. Let alone the couple that were on multiple dates with multiple guys concurrently, and then picked the best one going forward. Women know they can be picky. Sadly. And yeah, I'm sure many are looking for Mr Perfect, when it should be Mr Perfect For Them. Which I think is how I arrived where I am right now, as I'm below the bull**** threshold that the missus tolerates hah hah.

[JazzFunk]

Let's not forget that us men can get bored, too. I think it's natural to get bored with some relationships. There is a natural end, it's usually best when both parties are in agreement and it's amicable.

[MrKirov]

Yup. Donezo with the ex.

Wants to move forward “amicably”. That ship sailed when she took the cat and didn’t give me any warning or even a chance to say goodbye. Told her that too. I’ve got a roof over my head, she’s got to continue to pay half the mortgage at the very least, and the savings are mine- not hers. Also, she’s now going to have to stump up her half of all the selling costs- if and when it sells- and she can definately not expect me to be the one doing all the legwork either

The time for amicable was squandered by her frankly, so I’m not going to be easy going about this.