Little Things That Irk You VII: Seething Pains

[teddymeow]

Oh, you voted for the Conservatives during the GE?!

I don't need to know that and now I don't really wish to interact with you.

[Neon Ignition]

Dirty Rotten Republicans

[Zaki]

Customs clearing agents - it's like talking to someone who has failed primary school.

[QualityChimp]

My Mom had a tumble at Easter and as fell, she heard her jaw crack.

->Open Spoiler<-

When she came home, it's been getting progressively more painful but really struggled to get anyone to listen to her when she said there's something wrong.

She went to the doctor who said it's just an infection. She then went several more times (6 total) but the doctor either moved the appointment or she was seen by a locum or nurse.
After my Dad died, she was supposed to be a "priority case" to check she's okay, but she just got fobbed off.

Still nobody at the doctor's would do an X-ray on her jaw, said her ears are just blocked and there's nothing wrong.

She went to the dentist who also said there's nothing wrong.

She changed dentist and they also said there's nothing wrong.

She went to the drop-in clinic who said there's nothing wrong.

She went to A&E when she was in agony who said there's nothing wrong.

She went to the 111 centre who said there's nothing wrong BUT agreed to do an X-ray.
The X-ray was supposed to go the dental unit at the hospital but she's heard nothing.

The pain was so great that she had to pay to go a private dentist to get someone to listen to her, who said she had to have some wisdom teeth out to stop the pain.

She had the teeth out, but it still hurt, so they looked again at the x-ray and said there's "a shadow".

Finally, they did some tests and she is then told that she's got a cancerous tumour growing on her jaw.

->Open Spoiler<-

...

I went with her to see several of the cancer team at a nearby hospital (surgeon, case leader, nutritionist and speech therapist) and here's what's happening:

• She had an MRI scan to check that the cancer hasn't spread, either to her lungs, neck or brain - it hasn't. Phew.
• She had a CRT scan on her legs to check the bones are okay to be used as part of a new jaw.
• She's seeing the team again today to confirm that last scan's results. If OK, the rest will happen.
• She's having a PEG (feeding tube) put into her stomach on Friday as she won't be able to eat normally for a while.
• She's going in next Monday to hospital, ready for surgery on Tuesday.
• The cancer has eaten away most of her jaw where it's attached, which is why her jaw is brittle and keeps cracking and hurts so much as it grows. (You can see how swollen it is now)
• They're going to take out almost half of her jaw with the cancer attached.
• They're going to take out part of her leg bone with some attached bits (skin, nerves?) to build a new jaw with a plastic cast of her jaw and metal plates. The bone will help her body accept the jaw quicker.
• They're then going to put in the new jaw.
• They're also taking out her lymph nodes as they can be a source or cancer (precautionary).
  (All of this should be about a 15 hour operation)
• Then she's going to have radiotherapy on the jaw for a few months (6 weeks?) (precautionary)
  (Chemotherapy is for the whole body, radiotherapy is focused.)
• She'll need a walking stick for a while, but should be okay.
• She'll be pretty weak from the radiotherapy.
• She'll see the speech therapist to help train her how to speak/eat again with the new jaw.

So, I'm a bit worried about her at the moment. The whole procedure is "routine" and the cancer hasn't spread, but it's still a big operation and still has its risks.

Really annoyed about the way she's been treated by everyone and just ignored despite repeatedly asking for an x-ray. At the doctor's, they ring a bell after 10 minutes to tell you your time is up and have to leave. However, I can't believe how many professionals didn't listen to her and she's had six months of increasing pain and potential for the cancer to spread.
The amount of chasing of receptionists she's had to do is ridiculous.

Once diagnosed, the cancer team at the hospital have been amazing - efficient but understanding.

This isn't an anti-NHS rant, it just illustrates how stretched they are.

It's going to be an interesting Christmas and 2020, that's for sure.

Sadly, my Mom passed away from Cancer on Tuesday.

She had the operation to rebuild her jaw using her part of her leg bone and had radiotherapy, the last session of which was just before lockdown.
Sadly, the NHS then shifted its focus to Covid-19 and she didn't have any more meetings until April, by which point, she had a couple of spots growing. They did a test the next day, waited two weeks and the results were cancerous.
It had come back, despite the radiotherapy.

The NHS wheels are turning especially slowly, so by the time she had another meeting, her health had deteriorated and we moved her in with my sister. We thought she had just not been feeding herself properly as she slept a lot after the radiotherapy.

We then had about 3 weeks of seeing her health decline and realising it wasn't the lack of food, but the cancer that was taking her.

We had some time to chat, reminisce and talk about happy memories, but there was less of her each day, both physically and in presence. Eventually not responding. She died the next day.

She was ridiculously positive and was convinced she'd beat this and I believed her, mainly because I couldn't face the other option. Loads of friends have noted they remember that she was always smiling, which is a lovely way to be remembered.

I'm obviously gutted and any positive qualities you see in me are most like to have come from her.
She was amazing and selfless and bloody great with the kids, able to make a simple walk to school an amazing adventure.
This is a loss to me, my sister, our children, her friends, but also herself as there was so much more she wanted to do. She would have been 70 in August.

I'm doing okay, but I just miss her and will really notice when lockdown ends and we can no longer go together to the places she liked visiting.

[vanpeebles]

Gutted to hear that, my thoughts are with you!

[Atticus]

Really sorry to hear that [MENTION=10111]QualityChimp[/MENTION] ... thoughts are with you.

[gunrock]

I'm so sorry [MENTION=10111]QualityChimp[/MENTION].

Coincidentally, my mum hasn't been herself for a couple of weeks and last week, sounded out if breath on the phone and she admitted she wasn't eating anything.

I live in Copenhagen, so asked my sisters about it and they said they were concerned and she had been asking for less and less food (which they had been delivering).

We called NHS Direct or whatever they call it these days and a GP spoke to her and he sent an ambulance. By now, we're expecting a heart issue or perhaps a urine infection that's turned to sepsis. When she eventually gets to the hospital, they arrange a CT scan and turns out she has a mass in her stomach and lesions over her liver causing jaundice.

They are pretty sure the cancer has not originated in her abdomen and think that she needs further tests and reckon it could be originating from her brain.

The worst thing is, she woke up today confused and unsure what she's doing there and doesn't know why no-one is visiting. She doesn't have or know how to operate a mobile phone and there's no TV/phone thing in her ward.

She's just turned 76 and it's five years since my dad died. In that time she's carved a life for herself, goes out with friends several times a week and until lockdown had a better social life than all of her kids.

No-one is allowed to visit and even if I could, the borders are shut still in Denmark....

I feel terrible - she's all alone and confused, with nothing to do and no-one to speak to. She must be terrified.

[JazzFunk]

Sorry to hear of for both of you, my mum ain't great either, the lockdown isn't exactly helping and I find myself worrying much of the time, I only have my bro and her left. It's gonna happen one day, I know. As I get older I sense that life is pretty much about loss, in every way.

Thank god I'm on antidepressants. Anyway, if anyone needs to talk, PM us, but all I can say is that time will eventually take most pain away.

[Atticus]

My mum has terminal cancer and the lockdown has added an extra layer of difficulty for sure. It's hardest on my dad sadly. He's isolated/shielding along with her and putting up with/shouldering a huge amount. My biggest worry is there'll be nothing left of him when it's all over.

[Dogg Thang]

Aw man, so sorry for your loss, QC. Thinking of you, buddy.

[Colin]

QC, you’ve been a long term friend on this forum and I’m genuinely gutted to hear your news. I’m not here often enough these days but I genuinely can’t talk highly enough about you, and if there’s anything I can do just get in touch. Will leave direct contact details in the mod forum, take care mate.

[fishbowlhead]

No words QC. Absolutely gutted for.

[Blobcat]

Oh QC I am so sorry for your loss, We all love you and send our condolences and our thoughts to you. I'd give you a hug if it were any way possible, you have my sympathies.

This is a terrible time for so many people and its having such an impact of everyone around with other issues. The precancerous/ cancer cell treatment my mum had last year that was told was a success last year and she was going to have a 'top up' was cancelled and was then told it was infact not successful to start with so she has been up and about with no treatment for nearly a year. She has had this cancelled several times now whilst I can no way see her. She is now being forced to have her treatment in London (from Durham) and has to get a train and taxi to London to have a 3 day stay as she's scared of driving that far and catching anything from a service station. She is due to come down on Wednesday paying first class hoping for better social distancing and dressed to the eyeballs in masks and gloves.
I am so worried about her, I want to visit but getting to her would be a nightmare by car, impossible with the trains with social distancing, and with my job I cant risk her or my patients/ staff by visiting. I HATE this.

[MENTION=278]gunrock[/MENTION] - does your mother have a history of being confused and such? You mentioned it in your post but urine infections can cause confusion and change in normal behaviors when other symptoms may not be obvious especially in older patients. I hope she recovers ok.

[Blobcat]

Somehow double posted. Sorry

[cutmymilk]

Sorry for your loss QC. That was a beautiful post and it is clear how much you meant to each other.