Little Things That Make You Smile 6: Nowhere To Go But Up

[Neon Ignition]

Monday 09 November



Our Christmas Tree has been up for 24 hours

[JazzFunk]

^I switched my 2.5ft fibreoptic one on on the 6th Nov.

However, the tinsel is not up, therefore I lose.

But at least I got Xmas lights colouring up my living room in the dark

[JazzFunk]

PS I love your new av, Neon Ignish!!!!

Very chunky n' Neo Geo. You been on the 'roids, Neon????!!!!!!!

Either way, that's a ****ing cool av!!!!!!!

[Neon Ignition]

Shamelessly stolen from Google images

[JazzFunk]

New series of DICKINSON'S REAL DEAL today, Karen Dalmeny was on, what a fox, total type I go for.

She's the woman who Carol Vorderman could've been. Before she discovered cosmetic surgery and started looking a tad taut n' plastic.

Karen Dalmeny is a REAL woman and I would tame her!!!!

[Golgo]

"The woman who Carol Vorderman could've been"! @JazzFunk, you made my day with that!

Anyway, two days after Pfizer announce a vaccine with (alleged) 90% effectiveness, the Russians announce that theirs - the one old Vlad injected into his daughter as a publicity stunt and which they then went quiet about - is 92% effective: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-54905330

Come on America, don't stand for that from the Ruskies! Come back and say the Pfizer one is actually 94% effective!

[JazzFunk]

^Haha! True, though!!!

[wakka]

^just got a new big phone, I'll give that a try.

Was involved in a very strange little incident at work today, involving birds.

Yeah, I like to have a fag after each bin run but they've now entirely banned smoking on the grounds of the hosp. As I'm based very near the George St. entrance, I go for my snout just outside the hedge n' fence outside the old entrance, next to the postbox. It's a great place to stand and chill and people-watch.

Anyway, there's all these sparrows living in the hedge and I always talk to 'em when I'm having a smoke and they aren't scared of me and come proper close and tweet to me (begging for food, I know but they're one of my Top 2 fave birds and I adore them). I always think when I go back in "damn, I should've brought them some bread!" but I always forget.

Today, the loaf was done, toasted-out, there was a crust and a dry slice left in the bag so I took the crust out to give to my sparrows. I felt elated I'd finally remembered and I was full of joy.

I crushed up the crust, tossed it beside the hedge and a ****ing seagull swoops down, medium-sized so not scary but it keeps circling around for the bread (I'm waving it away saying "**** off!") and it won't stop trying, it even tried to crap on me but it landed three feet away.

There was a stalemate situation where the gull was perched upon a lamppost, giving off a very arsey vibe. I was happy to see some of the sparrows had managed to get their beaks into the bread but as I looked down, this bastard-of-a-bird zoomed down towards the bread...but at that very moment...

...that VERY moment...

A raven shot across the sky, coming into battle like Han Solo at the end of STAR WARS, heading straight at the gull like some twisted, black sky-dagger.

It literally chased it down the entire street, like a Maserati racing a Corsa. And as it reached the seagull, it pecked its arse. The gull shot upward, the raven decelerated to a soar. Finally, it landed on a chimney, looking all badass and cool. It was amazing, a beautiful coalition of man and bird defending the weak and vulnerable.

I never mentioned what my other Top 2 bird was. The raven. They are incredible creatures. And that album by The Stranglers really is the ****ing best. Serious, buy it. Incredible.

An incredible afternoon, and if I hadn't have been a dirty smoker then I would never have witnessed it!!!

I really enjoyed reading that

[wheelaa]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-54917363

[CMcK]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-54917363

I was barely getting 15 Mb that night. I’m not sure if the ISPs really were coping.

[Golgo]

Anyway, two days after Pfizer announce a vaccine with (alleged) 90% effectiveness, the Russians announce that theirs - the one old Vlad injected into his daughter as a publicity stunt and which they then went quiet about - is 92% effective: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-54905330

Come on America, don't stand for that from the Ruskies! Come back and say the Pfizer one is actually 94% effective!

Ah...so you actually did exactly that, then ('Pfizer NOW 94% EFFECTIVE!'): https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-54986208

It's ON!!! Are you just going to roll over and take that, Russia? Fight back strong like bear with 96% effectiveness!!!

[JazzFunk]

Just typed "Ian Dury" into my phone as part of a text and it changed "Dury" to "Duty".

Dury Duty. Made me laugh inwardly in a Richard Whiteley kinda way.

[randombs]

Ah...so you actually did exactly that, then ('Pfizer NOW 94% EFFECTIVE!'): https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-54986208

It's ON!!! Are you just going to roll over and take that, Russia? Fight back strong like bear with 96% effectiveness!!!

It's like Alan Partridge vs the farmer.

AP: "I've probably got more friends than you've got cows. How many cows have you got?"
PBT: "I've got a... hundred cows."
AP: "Yeah, well I've got a hundred and four friends!"

[wheelaa]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-54992101

Also, won't lie, this is delightful in many ways...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-55000897

Hahaha!

[wheelaa]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-55011152

I'd probably 'like' the picture too if I had an Instagram account!