I'd distract the miscreant with a handful of Switch carts chucked in their face like confetti, then while they're temporarily blinded/incapacitated by the extra-bitter coating on the carts, I'd belt them round the side of the head/face with an original fat PS3 (with hardware-based backward compatibility), which would probably break their jaw at a minimum and/or spark them out, leaving me to stand on their neck at my leisure.
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Last edited by endo; 09-07-2020, 16:15. -
Another deadly tactic is to hold a Wiimote in each hand and then play Wii Sports as vigorously as possible in the vicinity of the person you want to injure, throwing caution to the wind and NOT using the supplied wrist straps. Seen the damage these babies can do to a TV when they let rip unrestrained? Imagine that was some punk's face. Exactly. Kiss kiss, bang bang.Comment
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Gameboy micro......up the nostrilComment
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Switch carts are bitter because they’re deadly poisonous. I would melt them down into a fine liquid and serve them mixed in a soup to my assailant.
It might be hard to do that while they’re waling on me with a GameCube, though.Comment
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Drop a fully-loaded (hard-drive and internal CD drive, expansion cards, accelerator, etc.) Amiga 2000 on their foot and then take the ball from the mouse and put it in a football sock and cosh the fella with it whilst screaming "I'm the ****ing daddy now, you slag"!
Reach for the ZX81, snap off the 16k ram pack from it (hopefully the edge connector comes with it) and sling it at him as distraction while he hobbles and stumbles about holding his eye. At that point, you launch the totally angular ZX81 and make a break for it.Last edited by gunrock; 11-07-2020, 13:28.Comment
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I don’t know what console I would use to take some down, but when I get them down, the original PS3 would be my finisher move, that big heavy bast’ could deal and devastating crash on someone’s head... IIRC The original PS3 was one of the heaviest consoles in recent memory.
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Choke someone with a power glove on.
Jam a 32X in the mouth.
I like this thread.Comment
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Toast someone with the Gameboy Magnifier.Comment
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Nintendo 3DS
I'd clamp it shut on their balls like a woman scorned.
The sound would be epic: that little clicky sound it makes when you start to close it; then squelch of the balls; finally, the scream.
Anyone trying this on me would need a 3DS XL
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???Originally posted by randombs View PostNintendo 3DS
I'd clamp it shut on their balls like a woman scorned..
Anyone trying this on me would need a 3DS XL
Elephantiasis is the enlargement and hardening of limbs or body parts due to tissue swelling.[1][2] It is characterised by edema, hypertrophy, and fibrosis of skin and subcutaneous tissues, due to obstruction of lymphatic vessels.[2] It may affect the genitalia.Comment
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Put a PSVR on someone.. Then punch right through it.Comment
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The first draft involved clamping the willy shaft, hence the XL joke. But then I thought the balls would make a better target in a combat situation.Originally posted by shinobi7000 View Post
Mind you, the shaft is more readily available regardless of the opponent's leg separation. There's a chance the balls might be tucked in, putting them out of reach. The opponent must be convinced to part their legs.
Two options spring to mind:
1) shouting "you call that a fighting stance!?", then demonstrating centre of gravity by way of a swift push to topple them over. Once they're sprawled on the ground, get into position before readying the 3DS to strike
2) offering fellatio in lieu of the fight itself. Once the invitation is accepted, get into position before readying the 3DS to strikeComment
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I was being silly, in regards to the 3DS XL part of your post. You've really thought this out, more than the gov Virus strategy.Comment
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