The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[Ish]

I used to work in Safeway's too. I used to clean the warehouse and store floor. Started work at 3 every morning. Usually piss blind drunk from the night before. Used to cause chaos with my cleaning machines knocking **** over and stuff. But my highest point was flooding the meat preparing room with effluence. They could sell no meat that day and the whole store stank like the rankest of farts. They never did figure out how it happened

Tip to all: never put a high pressure water jet down a blocked drain, things have a tendency to start flowing the wrong way.

Looking back on it it was a great period of my life. For a year I had a pretty easy and stress free job and basically spent all my time down the pub with mates and playing videogames. Ahhh happy days.

[marcus]

I worked in Asda during much of my college life, and a crap bit afterwards on checkouts which I hated with all my life. I remember dropping a large can of paint off the top shelf as I was 'facing up', the top came off and covered me in the stuff. Had to go home and cleanup but the security guys got it all on camera and is no doubt played to this day.

I too met some interesting folk there, I recall it being a particularly good time for meeting girls, strangely much more sucessful than the time spent at college.

[Kieran76]

I worked as a shelf filler in tesco while at college, luckily I never had to go on the tills. I found it a piss of piece and all that money would be spent on beer and speed. I do feel funny when I visit the store now, over ten years later, and see people who I used to work with doing the same job.

[Il Postino]

Originally posted by: Yoraths mullet
I do feel funny when I visit the store now, over ten years later, and see people who I used to work with doing the same job.

Snob!!!! You'll be the first against the wall when the revolution (not the Nintendo console) comes.

God, I hope Nintendo doesn't call its new machine "The Revolution", imagine the puns in gamesTM and other ****e mags.

I forget, you're a teacher right?
If so can you tell me a bit about the PGCE, when did you do yours? Where did you do it? How did you find it? I'm thinking of "opting out", so to speak. No disrespect like, I know you teachers work real hard and all. PM me guy.

[Il Postino]

Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything seems to turn to ****?

Don't get me wrong, nothing 'major bad' has happened to me, but from turning up at work on Monday, through to well, like, now, I've been hit by a stream of really ****ty annoying little things and when you lump this sort of crap together it starts to get to you.

I've had to endure a parade of impossibly annoying drunk girls in my lounge (really not as good as it sounds). I got over that and decided to open Friday's mail, what do I find but a DHL invoice for some **** I purchased from YesAsia, in October, for ?62!!!!

Piss and, indeed, ****. ?62!!! Do C&E sit down with DHL and pull these figures out of their arses?

[chopemon]

I've had to endure a parade of impossibly annoying drunk girls in my lounge (really not as good as it sounds)

the media (alarmist programs and news papers) has led me to believe that all drunk girls do is get their boobs out and give head
is this not true?

[Il Postino]

Originally posted by: chopeman
the media (alarmist programs and news papers) has led me to believe that all drunk girls do is get their boobs out and suck cock

is this not true?

Possibly.

[marcus]

[marcus]

Who can truly understand women?

Been out with a girl for a few months, everything was fine.

Asked her about the relationship earlier in the week, was told she was very happy. Went out Friday night, everything was fine, had a nice night, arranged to see her Sat night for some quality time and she was fine with it. Got a call 6pm yesterday saying she didnt want to go out, and she 'didnt see a future' in it, its 'not you, its me' etc etc heard it a 100 times before yadda yadda.

I never saw that one coming, usually you can tell but the signs werent there and I thought everything was hunky-dorey.

Women - they make no bloody sense to me whatsoever!

[SaijoBob]

Women - they make no bloody sense to me whatsoever!

Too true! When I was working up in Newcastle for a year, my girlfriend at the time went down to Swansea Uni. She invites me down there for a weekend at her flat (about a 5 hour trip on the train), and as I get off the train she tells me she wants to break up because of the distance...

Stayed the night (let her sleep on the floor after she offered me the bed ), and had a miserable trip back the next day.

Gkad it happened though, or I wouldn't have ended up with the top lady I'm with now. Hope it all works out marcus!

[marcus]

Too true! When I was working up in Newcastle for a year, my girlfriend at the time went down to Swansea Uni. She invites me down there for a weekend at her flat (about a 5 hour trip on the train), and as I get off the train she tells me she wants to break up because of the distance...

A perfect example.

[marcus]

Gkad it happened though, or I wouldn't have ended up with the top lady I'm with now. Hope it all works out marcus!

So do I but Im beginning to lose hope! Shortly before this last gf I was with someone else, whilst that was good also there was problems in the relationship but I was able to live with them, but I guess they bothered her more than me i the end and so we broke up. This ones annoying me though as I really tried hard here, and tried not to make the same mistakes as before, I thought I was doing great until that phone call ft:

bah

[SaijoBob]

I lost hope for a while after that one broke up to - pretty much pissed on my whole year up there!

I'm not one for giving relationship advice myself (see dreadful track record), so I won;t patronise you with some god-awful advice. I'm sure you'll find the right one some day though.

It's amazing the sort of "sliding doors" events that happen to us all the time. I would never have met my fiancee if I hadn't seen a Japanese language class advert in a workmates paper many moons ago. Makes you wonder how many other opportunities you miss out on in life! Opportunities in correct lottery numbers are the ones I miss the most...

[endo]

I got very pissed last night and ended up telling the bloke who started Loaded to **** off. Yay. That curly-haired twat.

[Il Postino]

Originally posted by: endo
I got very pissed last night and ended up telling the bloke who started Loaded to **** off. Yay. That curly-haired twat.

Would that be James Brown?

If we're dropping names here, then I once managed to get Charlie Brooker to offer me "outside", I think the term was "If you carry on with your ****, I'll drop you".