... for a long time have we been given the message that drink driving is bad, and yes it more than likely is. Although this is something that's probably been done before, it's not been done by me, so I decided to experiment with how this relates to gaming too: just how much drink will affect the lap times in the virtual gaming world.
The instrument for this experiment? Gran Turismo 4, a driving force pro steering wheel, a Honda S2000, Leguna Seca race circuit, a manual gear box and no driver aids. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. I?m here with my bottle of Cabernet Merlot, and I?m ready to drive, Police be dammed. It?s the best time from three laps, and this is stage one. Sober.
The first lap of Leguna Seca is a bit slow, as I?m trying to familiarise myself with the circuit. It?s one I?ve virtually driven a lot on several games, but the DFP gives it a whole new experience. It?s such a great steering wheel that it puts the F355 cabs to shame.
There?s really not a lot wrong with my laps whilst I?m sober, I clip the dirt a couple of times whilst I?m trying to get to grips with the wheel, the car and the circuit, but I put in a reasonable time of 1.47.593 as my best of three laps. Time to go open the wine.
Mmmmm, alcohol. One glass of wine in, and I?m off again in the stunningly good little S2000 to the notes of Joe Satriani?s belting guitar; it?s a brilliant driving tune and puts me in good spirits for the task ahead. The first couple of laps and I?m well off the pace, at least a couple of seconds down. Lap three is a different story as I get my eye in. Taking the first corner sweetly, I start edging away from my ghost. When I reach the corkscrew I start to sweat, but I manage to take it without hitting the dirt. This is looking like a good lap. Only the tight final turn to worry about, but I?m there and round it and racing to the finish. I take over half a second from the sober best lap. Storming. Could I be about to prove that we drive better with a few units of the good stuff inside us, or am I just taking more risks? Time for another glass.
3, 2, 1, Go! Two glasses down and at stage three of the experiment. The wee Honda handles like a dream, pointing and moving where you tell it. Currently I seem to be pointing it in the dirt, it?s not good and gives me an untidy first lap, but not as bad as lap two. Three offs and two spins see my lap time drop to a pathetic 1:58, this is not looking good. Lap three, however, is absolutely resplendent. Perhaps I?m starting to see the right lines, and timing my braking points properly. My best time is beaten yet again by over half a second, seeing a decent 1.46.474 on the timer. Surely this can?t continue, I must have hit the peak by now.
Glass three and stage four. I?m starting to believe that I can beat Michael Schumacher, if not on the race circuit then in a fist fight outside. You want a piece of me Michael? It?s time to start the run. Things are starting to get a little trickier now, perhaps I was right, the peak has been reached and it?s now all downhill from here. I get on the circuit and it doesn?t seem to be eating into my lap times that much, I still manage a respectable 1.47 lap for my first go. Lap two is decisive, beating the previous best by nearly two tenths, giving a new fastest lap of 1.46.259. Lap three is a different matter altogether; over eight seconds off the pace, I?m feelings the wine inside me, and it?s nice. Just not one for the road, but I must continue; there?s an experiment to conclude. Glass four, and the last of the evening?s wine.
Final stage, and a bottle of wine down, the coppers would really be having a word by now, but I?m getting away with driving at excess speed with no points. I can still just about see the TV, and that Nissan Micra is starting to look real sexy, especially in red. Maybe I chose the wrong car for this test.
The wine is taking its toll though, I?m swerving about all over the place. Two really bad laps over eight seconds past my best: this is the worst yet. I do manage to crawl something back on the final lap, but there?s no way I can match my performance earlier. Perhaps a celebratory drink is in order for concluding the experiment.
Off again for a victory lap but the inevitable happens: It was a mistake to leave a glass of wine on the ironing board, or should I say cockpit of my virtual Honda S2000. The feedback sends the glass and its content flying to the floor. Thanks Newton and your gravity. That?s it, game over.
The party time has to come to an end, with a broken glass and the fated hang-over, but it does prove one thing: Red wine stains your carpet.
All in the name of science; the final scores on the door.
Stage 1. Sober: 1.47.593
Stage 2. Glass One: 1.47.027
Stage 3. Glass Two: 1.46.474
Stage 4. Glass Three: 1.46.259
Stage 5. Final Stage: 1.48.257
I guess I really am a drink driver.
The instrument for this experiment? Gran Turismo 4, a driving force pro steering wheel, a Honda S2000, Leguna Seca race circuit, a manual gear box and no driver aids. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. I?m here with my bottle of Cabernet Merlot, and I?m ready to drive, Police be dammed. It?s the best time from three laps, and this is stage one. Sober.
The first lap of Leguna Seca is a bit slow, as I?m trying to familiarise myself with the circuit. It?s one I?ve virtually driven a lot on several games, but the DFP gives it a whole new experience. It?s such a great steering wheel that it puts the F355 cabs to shame.
There?s really not a lot wrong with my laps whilst I?m sober, I clip the dirt a couple of times whilst I?m trying to get to grips with the wheel, the car and the circuit, but I put in a reasonable time of 1.47.593 as my best of three laps. Time to go open the wine.
Mmmmm, alcohol. One glass of wine in, and I?m off again in the stunningly good little S2000 to the notes of Joe Satriani?s belting guitar; it?s a brilliant driving tune and puts me in good spirits for the task ahead. The first couple of laps and I?m well off the pace, at least a couple of seconds down. Lap three is a different story as I get my eye in. Taking the first corner sweetly, I start edging away from my ghost. When I reach the corkscrew I start to sweat, but I manage to take it without hitting the dirt. This is looking like a good lap. Only the tight final turn to worry about, but I?m there and round it and racing to the finish. I take over half a second from the sober best lap. Storming. Could I be about to prove that we drive better with a few units of the good stuff inside us, or am I just taking more risks? Time for another glass.
3, 2, 1, Go! Two glasses down and at stage three of the experiment. The wee Honda handles like a dream, pointing and moving where you tell it. Currently I seem to be pointing it in the dirt, it?s not good and gives me an untidy first lap, but not as bad as lap two. Three offs and two spins see my lap time drop to a pathetic 1:58, this is not looking good. Lap three, however, is absolutely resplendent. Perhaps I?m starting to see the right lines, and timing my braking points properly. My best time is beaten yet again by over half a second, seeing a decent 1.46.474 on the timer. Surely this can?t continue, I must have hit the peak by now.
Glass three and stage four. I?m starting to believe that I can beat Michael Schumacher, if not on the race circuit then in a fist fight outside. You want a piece of me Michael? It?s time to start the run. Things are starting to get a little trickier now, perhaps I was right, the peak has been reached and it?s now all downhill from here. I get on the circuit and it doesn?t seem to be eating into my lap times that much, I still manage a respectable 1.47 lap for my first go. Lap two is decisive, beating the previous best by nearly two tenths, giving a new fastest lap of 1.46.259. Lap three is a different matter altogether; over eight seconds off the pace, I?m feelings the wine inside me, and it?s nice. Just not one for the road, but I must continue; there?s an experiment to conclude. Glass four, and the last of the evening?s wine.
Final stage, and a bottle of wine down, the coppers would really be having a word by now, but I?m getting away with driving at excess speed with no points. I can still just about see the TV, and that Nissan Micra is starting to look real sexy, especially in red. Maybe I chose the wrong car for this test.
The wine is taking its toll though, I?m swerving about all over the place. Two really bad laps over eight seconds past my best: this is the worst yet. I do manage to crawl something back on the final lap, but there?s no way I can match my performance earlier. Perhaps a celebratory drink is in order for concluding the experiment.
Off again for a victory lap but the inevitable happens: It was a mistake to leave a glass of wine on the ironing board, or should I say cockpit of my virtual Honda S2000. The feedback sends the glass and its content flying to the floor. Thanks Newton and your gravity. That?s it, game over.
The party time has to come to an end, with a broken glass and the fated hang-over, but it does prove one thing: Red wine stains your carpet.
All in the name of science; the final scores on the door.
Stage 1. Sober: 1.47.593
Stage 2. Glass One: 1.47.027
Stage 3. Glass Two: 1.46.474
Stage 4. Glass Three: 1.46.259
Stage 5. Final Stage: 1.48.257
I guess I really am a drink driver.
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