Worst examples of Dialogue in games

[abigsmurf]

How about a thread for bits of dialogue that make you cringe, piss you off or are just bad?

I'm not talking about Spoony Bards, whom bases belong to or any other famously bad localisations, but more regular pieces of dialogue. Either they're poorly acted, sound weird, are horribly out of character or present viewpoints that irritate you.

Examples to get things started:

HA HA HA (FFX)

A scene so hard it's become one of the most memorable parts of the game. Laughter is tough enough for actors, let along shouting it out.

"In your dreams, magical thoughts, all things are real unless you dream they're not" (Lunar : Silver Star Story Complete)

Has to rank among the worst lines in music history. That's coming from someone who loves the game and its music.

"AHA, is this our chance?" (Persona 4)

An example of a writer creating a line that simply can't be spoken without sounding clunky. A shame as I thought Chie's VA (and Persona 4's voice acting in general) was pretty good. It sounds awful the first time you hear it and doesn't sound any better by the 100th time.

[Guts]

Fallout 3 isn't going to win the Pulitzer, but this is especially atrocious. Not only this whole situation idiotic (character surviving a nuclear blast at ground zero), the dialogue is also horrible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05akmWwvzBQ

"I blew up your town with a nuke."

"No you didn't. Why would you do that?"

"It was a job. I'm sorry."

"Well, as long as you're sorry."

The mind boggles.

[Darwock]

Can I be the first to mention Shenmue then? The entire game. Woeful. (Hilarious mind...)

edit - and just because that is a little too obvious, I have a wav file somewhere on my PC from the original Tomb Raider that goes (in a very badly done Texan accent) "I still got a pain in my braiiiin from ye - and it's givin' me funny idearrrrs... now I'd like to SHOOT YOU ALL TO HELLLLLL"

[Phar]

Last Alert on PC Engine wins this hands down, you can tell that most of the voice "actors" really couldn't give a **** and just wanted to cash their paychecks asap.

http://www.audioatrocities.com/games/lastalert/index.html

[Golgo]

Fallout 3 isn't going to win the Pulitzer, but this is especially atrocious. Not only this whole situation idiotic (character surviving a nuclear blast at ground zero), the dialogue is also horrible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05akmWwvzBQ

"I blew up your town with a nuke."

"No you didn't. Why would you do that?"

"It was a job. I'm sorry."

"Well, as long as you're sorry."

The mind boggles.

Um...I think that was meant to be absurdist comedy. The acting would suggest so. I found it funny.

[Ady]

"Suffer like G did?"

(A statement bizarrely intoned as a question).

Actually, I think I'll pass. Thanks for asking though.

[abigsmurf]

Can I be the first to mention Shenmue then? The entire game. Woeful. (Hilarious mind...)

I can't believe the localisers didn't at some point wonder "are we going to be a laughing stock with this sailor section..."

The incredibly angry schoolgirls always make me laugh too.

[Skull Commander]

"Suffer like G did?"

(A statement bizarrely intoned as a question).

Actually, I think I'll pass. Thanks for asking though.

"Suffer Like G Did?" is amazing as is "Don't come, don't come" also from the same game.

[kernow]

Wait! Don't o-pen, that door!

[Flabio]

"I think you Jill, the master of unlocking, should take it".

[Mayhem]

Fifty worst voice acting in games?

[shafropuff]

I tend to forget the bad dialogue and the only one I can recall right now is FFXIII...

I think Bayonetta has some of the best dialogue in a game.

[Daragon]

Numbers 41 and 40 in that video, are they for real?

Those are your winners right there, the voice actors just add to the effect!

[Daragon]

One thing I've always found amusing is with the first N64 Mystical Ninja's opening theme song, how pretty much all of it is sang in Japanese apart from the line 'Take a chance' which really doesn't fit into context.

I understand it's the norm with games and anime however, the South Park episode 'Good Times with weapons' from series 7 or 8 I think it was illustrates this fact to much hilarity.

[Altered Edge]

Definaly got to be Two Worlds, they couldn't have made it any cheesier (truely laughable at best)