I was thinking a pair of Atari Lynx. Like a pair of bats, but they're not as long a I remember and holding one with one hand would be challenging.
So, I've gone with the Japanese Famicom with its hard connected controllers.
The console you hang down your back the controllers and a bit of the cables shortened in each hand. Hands are raised. When opponent comes forth, you simply slam your hands forward bringing the Famicom pounding down from above. The noise it makes is the unmistakable sound of 'thwomp!'
Commodore64: just sit someone down to play a game and the tape loading will kill them with old age.
OG xbox fat controller: the cable was made of space grade titanium thread and the controller was basically indestructible to anything but a sun, so easy choice for weapon.
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