The "Bella" guide to the console market!

[ThoseOfTheUnlight]

Hey guys. Noticed this today in a magazine, which I will painstakingly type out for your amusment. Each Console is rated outta 5 starts!


PS ONE

This lower priced compact console is amazingly good. The initial set-up is easy with simple instructions, and with more than a 100 games to buy, theres something for everyone. The graphics are precise and quite realistic. The console we tested came with one handset, but other packages includ extra handsets and games. Fantastic value! 4 Starts

Xbox

Fab graphics and Dolby digital surround sound are good qualities of this console. And because it was so easy to connect to the TV I thought it was a good buy. It also has the capability to play DVD's and music DCs, but to take advantage of this you have to purchase the "movie playback" controller. A good selection of games for kids 15 and over. 4 Stars

Gamecube

This connected to the TV in minutes. Even my eight-year old tester did it easily. The graphics were good but not as precise as the others. This also had the option for four players (most consoles have a one or two player option) which is good for car rallying games. Ideal for younger kids. 4 Stars

Playstation 2

The graphics were amazingly realistic, making this a joy to play. All the games we tried were like watching films the imagery was so precise. Its available witha dual shock handset that shakes realistically during some games. It also doubles as a DVD player so you get 2 entertainment systems in one. Good fun for all ages! 5 Stars

A great bit of reporting there "Zoe"!!!

[Roost]

This could easily be confused as something from IGN

[Tokuda]

ROFL!

Nice to see the middle-aged womans market is being penetrated

[ThoseOfTheUnlight]

It certainly gave me a chuckle anyway.


And before anyone says anything, it wasnt my copy, it was my mum's

[marcus]

Whats "precise" graphics?

[Kron]

Playstation 2

The graphics were amazingly realistic, making this a joy to play. All the games we tried were like watching films the imagery was so precise.

Can somebody tell me where I can get this PS2?, It sounds way different to the retail unit I bought

Whats "precise" graphics?

Never mind that, Im trying to figure out what "Unrealistic" shaking is compared to the Dualshock 2's "realistic shaking"

[Freedan]

I couldnt help think when reading that...that aint right

[yashiro]

The graphics were good but not as precise as the others.

Less jaggy perhaps? Decent AA?

Never mind that, Im trying to figure out what "Unrealistic" shaking is compared to the Dualshock 2's "realistic shaking"

These ladies know their vibrating.

[lordcookie]

I love when these types of magazines review games consoles. They never mention the quality of the games or anything important. Who cares how long it will take to set up because you will only ever have to do it once or twice. You buy a console for the games, yet they completely neglect to mention them.

[ThoseOfTheUnlight]

And because it was so easy to connect to the TV I thought it was a good buy.

Classic!!

[srgbilco]

Keeping with the theme, here's some stuff taken from Edge. It's a guide to consoles from Good Housekeeping. Can anyone find this, or the article that knocked it in the Guardian's G2?

Appraisal of of X-box: "Models graphics in realtime, so there's a greater choice than usual of angles from which to watch objects on the screen"

Why the PC isn't the dominant gaming system anymore: "In the past year, however, games consoles have changed all that: they have processors, microchips, graphics and sound cards of their own"

On the GC controller: "Controller disliked by all testers: it clicks when used and looks flimsy"

[Stuart Smith]

To play Devil's Advocate for a moment...that one's actually an interesting point. If you assume that your target audience is utterly technophobic and the very definition of a casual gamer: likely to only ever own a handful, bought mostly on a whim thanks to clever marketing, then presumably easy of connectivity is definitely going to be a point worth highlighting?

Obviously, on balance, it's a totally redundant point. But remember, we're not Bella's target audience...

[marcus]

we're not Bella's target audience...

We're not??

/goes back to rethink new target audience

[lordcookie]

To play Devil's Advocate for a moment...that one's actually an interesting point. If you assume that your target audience is utterly technophobic and the very definition of a casual gamer: likely to only ever own a handful, bought mostly on a whim thanks to clever marketing, then presumably easy of connectivity is definitely going to be a point worth highlighting?

Obviously, on balance, it's a totally redundant point. But remember, we're not Bella's target audience...

Hhmm maybe, but I would argue if they were that technophobic they probably wouldn't be interested in getting a console anyway.

[Tokuda]

Hhmm maybe, but I would argue if they were that technophobic they probably wouldn't be interested in getting a console anyway.

Indeed.

Why is are any of the 3 main consoles anymore difficult to connect up than a TV?? They are all also equally easy to connect up, so its a non-point.