not strictly the prog but the top 5 hits of stuff from his Guardian column this year
Gladiators
"All the male Gladiators have names that sound like gay nightclubs. Oblivion, for instance, sounds like a steaming 4am sinbox filled with strobe lights and shaved heads. But it isn't. It's a 6ft 3in bellend in black trunks."
Class of 2008
"…is an aspirational youth-oriented docu-soap that follows a group of sickeningly privileged, jumped-up little pissdrips as they embark on various glittering careers in music, modelling, and clubland. It's like watching a roomful of monocled adolescent toff s loudly applauding their own farts. Only worse. Because farts can sometimes be funny."
Big Brother
"Mario looks like a Spitting Image puppet of Sly Stallone crudely whittled from a gigantic boiled ham by a madman in a hurry."
The Apprentice
Lee: "Dumb as a cupboard." Alex: "An objectionable, buckpassing, jumped-up, passive-aggressive, know-it-all streak of piss with a short fuse, a sour mouth, and a petty, needling, finger-pointing demeanour. Unless you're a woman, of course, in which case he's a blameless dreamboat." Raef: "The absolute spit of Uri Geller staring at a pin."
Nuts TV
"It's just ****. Utterly, astronomically ****. It might even be made out of ****: the sets, the cameras, the lighting rigs - all actual, genuine chunks of crap, carved into shape by the unseen hand of some insanely misguided God. And powered by piss instead of electricity."
Gladiators
"All the male Gladiators have names that sound like gay nightclubs. Oblivion, for instance, sounds like a steaming 4am sinbox filled with strobe lights and shaved heads. But it isn't. It's a 6ft 3in bellend in black trunks."
Class of 2008
"…is an aspirational youth-oriented docu-soap that follows a group of sickeningly privileged, jumped-up little pissdrips as they embark on various glittering careers in music, modelling, and clubland. It's like watching a roomful of monocled adolescent toff s loudly applauding their own farts. Only worse. Because farts can sometimes be funny."
Big Brother
"Mario looks like a Spitting Image puppet of Sly Stallone crudely whittled from a gigantic boiled ham by a madman in a hurry."
The Apprentice
Lee: "Dumb as a cupboard." Alex: "An objectionable, buckpassing, jumped-up, passive-aggressive, know-it-all streak of piss with a short fuse, a sour mouth, and a petty, needling, finger-pointing demeanour. Unless you're a woman, of course, in which case he's a blameless dreamboat." Raef: "The absolute spit of Uri Geller staring at a pin."
Nuts TV
"It's just ****. Utterly, astronomically ****. It might even be made out of ****: the sets, the cameras, the lighting rigs - all actual, genuine chunks of crap, carved into shape by the unseen hand of some insanely misguided God. And powered by piss instead of electricity."
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