Post your current illnesses here

[JazzFunk]

What, you mean for ballbag pain? I get my dad to do it.

[ETC]

Tonsilitis ffs still may as well try to get 2013's bout out of the way quickly

[JazzFunk]

^Eat toast from day one!

[ETC]

^Eat toast from day one!

All I ever tend to want is Cherry Coke which is weird as I can't stand it when if feeling fine

[k0pp0]

Boom. Illness number 2 for the year. Think I'm going to keep count here. Up till about 3am last night coughing my throat raw.

I'm think the crux of it is the amount of sleep I don't get. Mostly my own fault of course.

[JazzFunk]

Not really an illness, per se, but I've chafed my arsecheeks and it KILLS! Don't know how I managed it cos I usually walk at least 15 miles a day at work and I usually have no probs, though think I forgot my belt and my undies kind of managed to ride up, but it's so damn RED!!!!! ****, it's worse than spraying Lynx on recently bathed balls, "feel the burn"!!!!

Anyone know a good home remedy, don't want to pull a sickie over something like this, it's not even 'serious'?!

[JazzFunk]

PS: I barely even have any f@ckin' arsecheeks, I'm pretty slender, just HOW did I manage this??????!!!!!!!

[ETC]

Daktarin (the foot one / miconazole) accelerates the healing and is the bonus of being an anti fungal. I only know from my foot before anyone is a cheeky beggar

[JazzFunk]

^Can you get that over the counter? There was this other stuff my ex used to have, it was like a baby 'ointment', for nappy rash and chafing, kind of a really chalky lotion that REALLY adheres to the body, and is super-white in colour, and it smells all bland and medical n' calming, and feels very nice on, comforting. Comes in a grey tub with red n' white n' black livery. Forgotten the name.

At the mo, all I got is Vaseline!!!!

[ETC]

You can get it in supermarkets even. And the other cream is called Sudocream

[JazzFunk]

^Yeah, Sudocrem! Great stuff!!! Love it! Worst thing is, there's a tub in this house but I'm a total fckin hoarder and don't know where I put it!!!!!

PS: Vaseline is actually working quite well. Also have some Ibuprofen gel, too, though don't know if it's appropriate for a sore arse.

[JazzFunk]

Ah, the Vas seems to be having a more than adequate effect, plus it's easier to pleasure oneself with a ripe banana, spot-on, actually.

[ETC]

Went out for a trot to celebrate being better (last week), now I'm totally borked I have Plantar Fascitis (A fooked ligament in my foot/heel/Achilles) ***** sake looks like a steroid in injection in a month and some expensive orthodics and 6-12 months of taking it easy bast...

[JazzFunk]

Bugger, think I'm coming down with prostatitis again.

Anyways, forewarned is forearmed, been smoking too much much too much recently, so I'll be quitting the ciggies AGAIN tomorrow (got plenty of nic gum in), will stop with the Costas, start drinking plenty of water and will also cease the booze for a bit. Had a lot of stress recently, plus a bad chest/ear infection and have been very run down, so that's probably a contributor. It's pretty low level right now but this **** is like an ALIEN in your nether bits, it demands strategy when dealing with it. Might also see if I can get some valium and/or Tramadol off the doc, too, if it gets to the painy point.

The only parameter I have a problem with is knowing whether I should/shouldn't rub one off. Right now, I'm thinking I should...but I knocked four out one day last week and I had no prostatitis then, maybe there's a link...

[k0pp0]

Bugger, think I'm coming down with prostatitis again.

Fecking horrible. You're right though - there probably is a link.. getting something nasty down your wee hole will do it. Stop using soil as a lubricant.

In other news, I recently had conjunctivitis, along with my kids. And my youngest has a very resilient chest infection and spent all night coughing into my face. So I'll be having one of those as well please.