The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[marcus]

Cheers. Hm, slower than I run in the gym (8.5mph) but then again I run 15 mins at that not 25. Had to do it today, despite being really hot, hard going running in this weather

[VR46]

it's actually 7.2mph Marcus (3/25*60) - miles/minutes*60, so not too far off your normal 8.5

Question for the day, why don't keyboards have a proper divide sign ?

[charlesr]

My IBM keyboard has a divide sign. But I don't think there's an ascii character for it, so er... anyway.

[kernow]

Do keyboards have a proper multiply sign?

[Lupine]

Do keyboards have a proper multiply sign?

x.

[kernow]

hehe

[thebuddahman]

Flamingos only stand on one leg because if they used both then they would fall over.

[MartyG]

Text based Pong - you know you want to try it: http://www.karber.net/textbased/pong/

[marcus]

You could of watched the World Cup in ASCII also - http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=32388

Away from all that for a moment, page 3 was lovely today, just my cuppa tea she was.

I wonder how she would look in ASCII.

[dataDave]

I bet my mate once that he couldn't find any Bill Oddie ascii art. I won the bet.

[112]

Was in florida recently and accidently swam with dolphins! O_o

At first i thought it was a shark because the fin came up - was was enlightened to find out that dolphins loop up and over the water when they come up. Sharks on the other hand rise up and down when they come up and out of the water.

Yes i shat me pants when a dolphin came towards me! Friendly aint they? they feel soft and rubbery! nice...............

112

[buster_broon]

posted here incase David wraps my knuckles

this is what Mufasa was on about when he mentioned the circle of life in the Lion King

you hate Game, they have a sale, you love game, you bleat about how quick the sales go, you end up with not much, you hate game

**holds up ds lite to the pride**

good to see the 2 pieces of silver from game are always welcome

i dont bother with the sales from Game as they are a farce and i hate game - morals are better than saving a couple of quid on a game i imported cheaper anyway

[VR46]

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied, "He had an heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning. "

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied Granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along."

-----------------------

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

[dataDave]

I've just been into the toilet where I found a messy sanitary towel left on the floor by one of the 'asian' lot we've just had in. On the ****ing floor for ****sakes! I nearly stood in it.

Utter ****ing filth, I've never seen anything like that before. Some people disgust me plenty, although it's pretty uncommon for a female to disgust me as much as this.

Our caretaker is having a rant in reception right now.

[nietzschedancing]

I've just been into the toilet where I found a messy sanitary towel left on the floor by one of the 'asian' lot we've just had in. On the ****ing floor for ****sakes! I nearly stood in it.

Utter ****ing filth, I've never seen anything like that before. Some people disgust me plenty, although it's pretty uncommon for a female to disgust me as much as this.

Our caretaker is having a rant in reception right now.

. What does a vampire use for a teabag? A tampon . W00t etc. etc.

What an unpleasent experience.