Restless and apathetic; feeling it?

[kryss]

I had my mid-life rebound at 30. Quit drinking, started doing yoga, changed departments at work, now I'm back at school as well.
It wasn't a crisis at all, I just did something stupid and realised how much my drinking was messing me up.

Best choice ever.

[JSR]

You used to drink much, like outside of weekends? Or did you quit drinking completely?

[nakamura]

Just to add to the depression element. There is nothing at all wrong with feeling down in life, it doesn't instantly mean depression. Sometimes things just get you down, it is perfectly natural.

I am very happily married with an extremely busy life, a wonderful wife and a beautiful daughter. However sometimes I have days or even weeks when I am at my wits end. Sometimes I am over the moon every waking minute. Life can be tough even when it is good, it is key to remember that.

[kryss]

You used to drink much, like outside of weekends? Or did you quit drinking completely?

What does the weekend have to do with drinking? I used to drink any amount, any day of the week and was 100% comfortable drinking on my own, as I have been for many years now. I wouldn't qualify as an alcoholic by volume, but I've woken up on the sofa after accidentally drinking half a bottle of Jagermeister in an evening. I have an obsessive nature. Look at how many games I have. Exactly. Yes, buying games is my way of making myself feel better, and it's working less and less these days, which is why I'm trying to take up the slack with study...The problem being that working full time as well means I have no time to game, and barely any time for yoga.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Been like this for quite a while also, i get home from work and just have no motivation to do anything really, can't count the amount of times i've seen the same episodes of mock the week/qi/have i got news etc, or the amount of hours i've played civilization on the xbox just to pass a few hours till bedtime, which is usually 1am ish. At work things are fine, i spend all day interacting with people, i'm out with friends every other weekend which is great. i know it's basically depression, but then i think "meh, it could be worse" or that it isn't because on the flipside when i'm not at home i find myself in really good moods for no apparant reason, always joking around, larking about etc

I've been in this rut for a while too. Got a few things to do but never really have the motivation to get them done. I'm pretty much ok in work too i.e. interact fine with ppl, have a laugh, but its when I'm home i just cant be arsed. I will say that my job is ****e & I feel myself not really caring about my work as much as I used to. This cant be arsed attitude that I have been feeling for the last 2 yrs or so feels more like a numbness of the brain.

I dunno if its depression (have suffered with it bad in the past) cos when I'm home I'm in a pretty chipper mood a lot of the time. The only time I really feel like **** these days is wehn the missus is going thru a(nother) mental phase. Ever since we moved in together at xmas its been like this at least twice a month .

[QualityChimp]

Can I suggest you have too many distractions?

There's been a real move from advertisers to make you feel like you're missing out if on life if you don't buy their product.
The First Play thread is full of people playing games you're missing out on.
The cinema's full of films which you can't see.
The Library is full of books you could be reading.
There's a whole world out there that you should be enjoying or you're told you're a couch potato.
The latest Apple device is the only one you should own.

A quick glance at your backloggery shows you have most gaming platforms each with several games you haven't completed.

Sometimes when you're overwhelmed by choice, it's easier to do nothing.

I'm only saying this because my main feelings of restlessness comes from a car full of albums to listen to properly and audiobooks to check out, a Kindle full of books to read, a draw full of 360 games to catch up on, a LoveFilm subscription of films to watch, a bunch of Kung-Fu flicks to catch up on and a Virgin+ box of films I've recorded.

Although I've been perfectly happy pootling around in Minecraft for the last month, I've always had the nagging feeling that I should be getting on with the above list!

As part of my ongoing list of things to do, I keep meaning to read this:
Consumer Detox by Mark Powley



Maybe a declutter is in order, but whatever happens, I hope you lose your sense of apathy soon, good sir!

[speedlolita]

That's part of the reason for me selling gaming stuff of late.

Need to finish reading all of my manga and watching shows I've downloaded too.

Ugh.

[JSR]

Can I suggest you have too many distractions?

There's been a real move from advertisers to make you feel like you're missing out if on life if you don't buy their product.
The First Play thread is full of people playing games you're missing out on.
The cinema's full of films which you can't see.
The Library is full of books you could be reading.
There's a whole world out there that you should be enjoying or you're told you're a couch potato.
The latest Apple device is the only one you should own.

A quick glance at your backloggery shows you have most gaming platforms each with several games you haven't completed.

Sometimes when you're overwhelmed by choice, it's easier to do nothing.

Very much truth in this. I've felt overwhelmed in a sense almost all my life. When surrounded by so many opportunities, I want to make sure I spend my spare time in the best possible way. I want to spend my time learning a new language, learning how to code, learning to make music digitally, working out, playing all the SNES games I really should get around to, taking photographs, take a year of from my normal life and explore the world, take a night class for something, fix up my bathroom, get a new job, learn to play my guitar properly and so on. Don't wan't to feel like I'm wasting any part of my life, and that fear makes afraid to commit to anything at all, thus making me waste it after all. (and my backloggery only lists about half the games and consoles I own...)

I actually made a thread a while back called something like "Are we wasting our time?", because it was something I genuinely felt I did. People responded very negatively at what I considered a waste and not (maybe I struck a nerve?), so I've tried to avoid the topic since to leave room in my mailbox for my ordinary mail along with the following death threats.

A partial cure to this is to set goals. Both short term (get a new living room lamp) and long term (get a degree in something). Though one needs a lot of self discipline to make real progress, so it isn't as easy as it might seem.

A bit rambly this. Will definitely check out that book (or at least go as far as read a synopsis or two, which is pretty far for me), as the premise sounds very interesting.

[ETC]

If you live alone that might have something to do with it. I hate being on my own too much. Sometimes it is nice, other times fairly depressing as you have said.

If I were to take your avatar as encouragement I think that you may need to "**** or get off the pot"

[ETC]

Alex - I think 90%-95% of the issues you are talking about will be fixed by a good woman (or dude whichever) almost reads like you are really not arsed what you do with your spare time as you have no one to appease or live up to, target to set etc etc. The crass arsehole in me says "just get laid man" but I think reading what you have said sounds more like you want a partner/soulmate/Cohort in crime, welcome to heading rapidly to the wrong side of 30 it happens to us all

Its also a pretty common trait in high iintelligent people, why am I doing that, not this what's the point, comes with the territory of being an intelligent sentient being (unfortunately)

[charlesr]

If you are considering a degree, may I suggest it doesn't have to be something you actually do anything with later. Unless of course it's a specific vocation like law or medicine etc.

[kryss]

I think 90%-95% of the issues you are talking about will be fixed by a good woman

*sigh* Let's not go there shall we?


Alex, worrying about how you spend your time is the first step to a very dark path, one I'm still trying to get off. After I got married I knew that the time I had left living in Japan was limited, and so I felt like I had to do a million things so I didn't waste my days. I ended up rushing everywhere, missing lots of things I should have stopped and enjoyed, and generally sowed the seeds for the end of my marriage (I do realise this).

"Time you've enjoyed wasting is not wasted time" - is something I hold very true. Do what you want to do, and if you can't choose, make a dice or write things down on little bits of paper and pick one from a bag and do that. You may even find yourself digging in a few times to find something that you would prefer to do, and guess what?! You've just made a decision. There's always something I'm planning to do whenever I get home or get out of bed, and that makes it easier.