The Relationship Thread II: Ding Dong - The Bells Are Gonna Chime

[Dogg Thang]

I think the grass is always greener and I totally love my wife and would never leave her, but I'll admit to being a little jealous of you guys playing the field a bit!
You're on dating apps trying to find another wife/partner so you don't have to play the field any more!

Yep. This is it. My goal is to find someone I can just be with and feel safe with and stay with. I do not actually want to play the field.

That said, I am enjoying it. I'm enjoying meeting people. I'm enjoying the dates, hearing stories I otherwise never would, and the hot times. But I don't want it for long.

It's for a longer post but, while the apps are great in some specific ways, I actually think they're mostly toxic because they become like social media only with real people. They work in a very similar way and you want that dopamine hit of the likes and yet that means the crashing lows when you don't get them. And they're like a menu, which means you're always in a "greener grass" situation. What if the next person is hotter? What if I match with this person? Wait, what about this person over here?

For all the stuff I'm enjoying, there is a lot that I don't actually think is good for me.

Another topic for a longer post maybe some other time but I dipped my toe into Feeld. Oh boy... what people are getting up to. I was instantly hugely envious and filled with panic all in one. Not for me as much as, for a moment, I desperately wanted it to be. But guys, here's a thing - you can probably do this on every app but, because I wasn't staying on Feeld, I decided to do a bit of research. One thing I knew nothing about with the apps is what women see, what the man pool is like. So I changed my gender to woman and got it to serve up the dudes. The pool of guys was dismal. 90% instant creep vibes. Often the more physically attractive ones managed to make themselves look the most creepy. I can see why women are really, really cautious. But I also see why just being a decent guy is probably a rare thing.

So if you're a decent guy, keep going. Women will see that.

[Neon Ignition]

I don't miss dating at all. Never enjoyed it for a second and always found it fascinating when talking to people who were much more into that compared to being in a relationship. The nerves, the self doubt that can set it, the awkwardness etc. I don't miss the days of everyone I know being single and mingling either before marriage and kids era kicked in, the mistaken notion they usually had that more people slept with meant being better in bed. Mistaken... very mistaken