The Relationship Thread II: Ding Dong - The Bells Are Gonna Chime

[fishbowlhead]

Solved it! Get a job behind the counter and then they'll ask you out! #crushingit #blessed

Yeah, but I don't think the idea is to have middle-aged men who game ask him out...

Beggars can’t be choosers now.

[charlesr]

Totally nailing the entertainment factor though.

I think you should go back to the same cleaner in a few weeks and just act like nothing happened. Then your life will be level-up

[Dogg Thang]

I think you should go back to the same cleaner in a few weeks and just act like nothing happened.

...asking them out again as if you have completely forgotten you met and asked them out the first time around. Repeat until restraining order.

[EvilBoris]

[charlesr]

...asking them out again as if you have completely forgotten you met and asked them out the first time around. Repeat until restraining order.

OMG. Choking here

[Cassius_Smoke]

Silently slide over a hand written letter to her and walk away.

[teddymeow]

Silently slide over a hand written letter to her and walk away.

"Go out with me or you'll never see your cat again!" or something more romantic?

[charlesr]

Thread living up to subtitle

[randombs]

"Go out with me or you'll never see your cat again!" or something more romantic?

"It rubs the lotion on my knob or it gets the hoes."

[kryss]

"Go out with me or you'll never see your cat again!" or something more romantic?

The most romantic ransom note ever. Be sure to use red/pink lettering to nail the valentine's tie-in.

[randombs]

I love the idea of it backfiring and skectz having to avoid the cat afterwards

[Cassius_Smoke]

The most romantic ransom note ever. Be sure to use red/pink lettering to nail the valentine's tie-in.

Could even use letters cut from a magazine to add extra romance...

[Sketcz]

We all have.
Lets skip to the end of that conversation: Dont.

Where does one go then to ask someone out in person?

I hate bars and clubs, and when I've been in London all the women are with guys. I refuse to do any sort of charity work, leafleting, political rallies, and such like. It's all nonsense and an agonising waste of time. I don't need (or want) to take any classes. I once joined a creative writing class and it was literally 100% old retirees who wanted something to do now they were retired. I'm a trained yachtsman so I joined a sailing club, but it was 100% men trying to escape their wives (was hoping to find a single Ellen MacArthur type). I went to local MENSA meetings but again, all old retirees and mostly men - and weird ones at that. Attended a chess club meeting but again, 100% male nerds in tweed jackets. D&D groups? All guys. Local arcades? All guys. Local junkyard where I rummage to steal scrap parts to repair games consoles, technically no one - though there is a "beware of the dangerous dog" sign on the fence I have to clamber over. All of my friends are married and their friends are also married - I've reached the stage where I am the only outlier.

I'll be blunt: I do not know what single women do or where they hang out. Apart from shops behind counters. All the places I normally go in life are filled with guys. If this were GTA V then I'd say there's a glitch when spawning NPCs because they're all the same.

Currently I'm stuck with regular hook-ups thanks to places like Fetlife, but that's not conducive to something long-term. I need to settle down; I want someone I can introduce to family. Not attend another swingers party where a guy wants to film me getting it on with his wife.

[QualityChimp]

"As per the rules" is hilarious.

My advice would be for you to join a paid dating website like e-Harmony for two reasons.
1. It matches your interests and personalities, rather than you just happened to be in the same dry cleaners at the same time.
2. Instead of those free sites, which are (let's be honest) all about just "hooking up", by saying you're willing to invest time and money into meeting a real person sends a message different to "I didn't swipe left".

I do think you should consider seeing a relationship counsellor, though.
Your views on women and dating are a little skewed with all the little rules and the way you think women should be wooed.
You're an interesting guy with a lot to give, so if you shift wanting to be in any relationship to finding somebody you want to be in a relationship with, you're onto a winner.

I know your "rules" forbid returning to the site of failed date requests, but I'm impressed that you have the balls to ask people out.
I have never had the courage to do that.

[Dogg Thang]

First thing is to know where to look and the best idea is to hang out by the long grass. It can take a while but, before you know it, you'll have found one. The temptation can be to go right in at that point but this is a rookie mistake. Take your time and get their HP right down. A Great Ball really helps but save your Ultraball for... wait, what are we talking about again?