The Relationship Thread II: Lost in that Last Goodbye

[kryss]

The reality is, I've said one thing and done the other in this case. In my defense, I knew nothing of the backstory, nothing of how long things had been going on, and as far as I knew it was a sudden thing. It wasn't, but by the time I'd found that out I'd already said my piece to her. Which is the only reason she actually told me the whole story.

Proper catch 22.

[prinnysquad]

I think that's fair enough Kryss because you thought she was single.

[kryss]

No, she'd literally just told me she was in a long distance thing with this guy we used to work with (that she'd been boning all summer unbeknownst to me).

[Colin]

So she's only just split up with her boyfriend of four years, but has been getting dicked all ways by some other bloke for months? Consider that a bullet dodged lad.

[kryss]

Seems to be the general consensus.
Bastard shame, I very rarely meet women I'm actually attracted to on a more than sex level.

[fishbowlhead]

So she's only just split up with her boyfriend of four years, but has been getting dicked all ways by some other bloke for months? Consider that a bullet dodged lad.

Ugggghhhhh. Slag.

[nakamura]

I don't agree with that, Nakamura. You keep schdum until someone is available, you don't try to play a proactive part in something that could end in a break-up. Otherwise you're adding complications to someone else's thing. I don't hold the argument that if a couple were happy and secure, then some weasel professing their feelings for one party wouldn't be a problem, either. Not all of us are ?ber-confident and could shake off the worry of predators shoving their oar in. I have my baggage like everyone else, and frankly would want to chin someone hitting on my lass, because I think it shows an extreme lack of respect, and I know I'd worry that they wouldn't let it drop.

I don't hold that just because you have feelings they're fair game to air whatever the circumstances. If a person in a relationship is the one to look elsewhere, that's different; but being the one to blurt out feelings to someone in a relationship is well off in my book.

If you feel that strongly for someone it does no harm letting them know, what's the point otherwise? Also the feeling could be more than mutual so sometimes you have to take a chance.

If you are spending a lot of time with a girl in a relationship you are probably asking for trouble anyway, especially if you met when she was already involved.

If you are that scared of another guy asking your.missus out, well reality check because it's probably going to happen regardless. It's just up to her to say no.

[prinnysquad]

I don't need a reality check to know that would happen. It has. But those guys didn't know she was with me. Only a twat would pursue someone they know is with someone else. I am not that twat.

[nakamura]

Like I said there is a difference between pursuing someone and letting your feelings be known. It's no ideal no but you have to make your own luck.
The only line U wouldn't cross is a girl of a friend.

[prinnysquad]

I think the difference is negligible at best. The moment you open your gob you've tied your colours to the mast, and it's a statement of intent. Not necessarily a relentless pursuit, but highly inappropriate in my eyes.

[kryss]

I think the difference is negligible at best. The moment you open your gob you've tied your colours to the mast, and it's a statement of intent. Not necessarily a relentless pursuit, but highly inappropriate in my eyes.

Pretty much sums it up for me...Unless her BF is a proper tool.

[nakamura]

Best not hang around any taken women then. You are only setting yourself up for a fall. Don't even enter the friend zone.

[kryss]

I know a lot of taken women I have zero interest in.

[fishbowlhead]

Pretty much sums it up for me...Unless her BF is a proper tool.

Even more reason not to bother surely as if her boyfriend is a tool it pretty much sums someone's taste up for me.

[QualityChimp]

She's been cheating on her boyfriend for months and somehow she's still managed to come out sounding like the victim.

I'm with Prinny and would never tell a taken lady I liked her, so I personally don't think you're in the wrong for waiting until she broke up.

How's the Internet dating going? I thought you'd signed up to a couple of the paying ones.