The Relationship Thread II: Lost in that Last Goodbye

[davesol]

Why can't it all just develop in 30-45 minutes like in the movies?

2 dates and you're already picking out furniture! i'd say that's pretty quick

[kryss]

I took her to a supermarket
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere
So it started...there.

etc.etc.

[Resonance]

Wrote a **** ton down just now but it's too much of a downer.

In short though, getting laid isn't a problem, finding someone I genuinely like is. I'm 28 now, never had a proper girlfriend really as the girls I've gone for have always knocked me back - given all the **** that went on in my teens and twenties I was told the other day it's a surprise I'm still alive/made it to 28; is that even a complement? **** knows.

I just know at this point putting yourself out their each time and then getting rejected has worn on me. I think now if people had a thimble of my patience it would last them a lifetime.

I'm in pretty decent shape, going somewhere with my life, come through a lot that only now am I realising would have ruined lesser people, but I just can't find someone who'll be there for me - and I've never had that, like someone close. It's a serious burn that I think few can relate to.

I'm pretty much in exactly the same boat.

[Resonance]

Haha been there. Had to explain how I knocked an old mans daughter up over here. I was absolutely bricking it but I turned on my blond and blue charms and won them over.

I would have done the finger in hole gesture, but it probably would not have gone down well.

[neoboy259]

Now single and back on the market, missus dumped me when we got back from Japan! In a way, it's a bit of a relief as things haven't been going well between us, however I miss her terribly. To be fair, my chronic drinking is probably what brought about this.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Is she the lady you ended your previous relationship to be with neoboy?

Anyway, i knocked my 4 yr relationship on the head a few wks back.
The constant arguing, paranoid accusations about me ogling other women & accusations of me having an affair finally became a piss take. She was such a nice lady when we 1st got together, but 6 months later i could see that it was all an act & that she couldn't hold back the monster anymore.

I thought it would change when we moved in together, but in fact she just got even more pissy.

Then after all the accusations she had the cheek to tell me that we spend too much time together & that was the reason for her paranoid behaviour, & that she wanted to spend time with friends (even tho she has none) - yeah thanks a bunch. Plus she even said she was thinking of going back to Poland - double thanks a bunch!
Plus she was out of order at my Dads funeral earlier this yr. Total lack of respect which i ended up taking the blame for.

Tbh i was sick of her whinging about the weather & about her opinion of British ppl being lazy & racist, sick of her offence when i spoke Welsh to other ppl in front of her, & sick of her playing the race card all the time.

Miserable old cow!

[EvilBoris]

Did you skate with her first?

[Wools]

I'm sorry to hear about that Eddie, although it sounds like you're good to see the back of her! Is she going back to Poland?

Remember, to stay strong, don't head back to dating at all for the next few months and enjoy being single.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Did you skate with her first?

No mate. I'll make sure that i do with the next mad childish bitch tho , altho tbh i just cant b arsed with the hassle.

I'm 38 now, & if I meet another woman she'd prob have to be over 30, just to make sure that i don't look like a paedo . But I've realised that any woman over the age of 30 who is single is still single for a reason. Either she will have been in an abusive relationship or got cheated on or she's just mental. They're either gonna be carrying some kind of emotional baggage that i don't care about supporting & helping them thru anymore, or they've got a bunch of kids already that i have no interest in becoming a father to coz i hate kids anyway & its just a load of hassle that i could do without.

Right now i get to do what i want. I can go out when i want, play my head height stack of games (that i haven't touched yet) when i want, watch the films & documentaries that i want instead of the same old ****e they show in Film4.
If I'm in the mood for a bit of growler then i can pop out on a Thurs, Fri or Sat & pick me up some meaningless sex. Failing that i can just knock one off the wrist.

Life is good

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

I'm sorry to hear about that Eddie, although it sounds like you're good to see the back of her! Is she going back to Poland?

Remember, to stay strong, don't head back to dating at all for the next few months and enjoy being single.

Thanks man.
I dunno if she's going back to Poland. Don't really care tbh. Actually i hope she does **** off back to Poland so she can **** up someone else's life. I dunno maybe the Polish are used to the kind of ****e she dealt out, as I've seen it in a few Polish couples since we were together. Anyway constant conflict is not my idea of a relationship.

When the relationship started the 1st thing i asked her was if she was staying here or not coz if she was going back home then i wouldn't have bothered getting involved. She said she wasnt going back, but it was a real kick in the nazzies when she told me that she was thinking of going home a few wks ago.

I think she was trying to control my life in a lot of ways when i look back. When we argued and i was in wrong i apologised & we got back on track. When she ****ed up there was no apology, & she'd keep the silent treatment going forever. In the end i would apologize & say it was my fault just to end the silence. In the last yr i haven't done that coz i realized she was getting her own way with it all the time.

I'm not gonna bother with dating. Cant be arsed. Just want to focus on me & my Mum who's 80 this month & is now on her own bless her. Something again that my ex just didn't seem to understand

[Darwock]

Isnt her brother still living upstairs from you?

[randombs]

Cheers, Darwock.

I was wondering if the lodger story was Eddie's!

As for women over 30, maybe there's a normal one out there for you who just hadn't been showered on by the monsoon yet

[Mayhem]

But I've realised that any woman over the age of 30 who is single is still single for a reason. Either she will have been in an abusive relationship or got cheated on or she's just mental.

My current girlfriend ticks all three of those boxes, and yet neither of us could be any happier at this moment heh. Actually here's a shot of us from the wedding we went to a couple of weekends ago...

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Isnt her brother still living upstairs from you?

After I put my foot down over that whole situation, despite her siding with him (surprise surprise!) he did finally move upstairs. However, he was still spending most of his free time in our flat, which she seemed more than happy with. This meant that every time we wanted to watch summat on TV TOGETHER he'd be there with us, every time we had food he had food with us, which btw became her making food for the both of THEM & me left to make my own.
We hadn't had a meal together or done anything together since he'd moved in. He was still basically spending every waking moment in our flat.
She even mentioned that if we go anywhere for the day that she wanted her bro to come with us, so again no time spent PRIVATLEY or TOGETHER or ALONE. He had to come with us. I understand he is family but he's 25 yrs old not a kid. He can do things for himself. She backed him up all the time & I became an outsider in my own home, with the 2 of them spending time together & me on my own.

This was when I realised that I should just go & do my own thing instead of hanging around & wasting my time or worrying about whether she's gonna have a pull about me going out & lieing about where I've been when I've secretly been "meeting up with other women".

I don't know if Polish dudes cheat a lot or summat, or if Polish couples fight a lot (I have seen it), or if she's just mental, but I could just not be putting up with that anymore.

Then when the excuse for her behaviour was cos we spend TOO MUCH time together & she wanted to spend time with friends or people from work (who she hates), & she mentioned thinking of going back home to Poland I just realised that I am wasting even more of my time. It was a real slap in the face.

It just pissed me off. I've done so much for her family too when they needed help:
Knocked together a bloody good CV for her sister so she could get work (cos she didnt know how to structure a UK style CV),
Helped her sister & sister's bf to claim child benefit & tax credits cos they didn't understand the English on the forms & didn't know how to fill them out,
Helped them again when they were moving house, me lugging heavy furniture up 3 flights of stairs even with my back in pain,
Proof-read their mortage agreement for them & signed as a witness despite not really knowing them.


What did I get back? Hassle that's all. Palm the bro off on us despite having a spare room to house him & breaking the promise of allowing him to stay there. That's gratitude eh.

I'm happy on my own now, which I kinda was when we were together when I saw her true colours eh!!

Anyway, onwards & upwards!!

[dvdx2]

Nice one ED. Sounds like you were being well used.