The Relationship Thread II: Lost in that Last Goodbye

[MisterBubbles]

On a happier note. I know its not that long and its early days, so we are in the honeymoon scenario, but its mine and the good woman's first anniversary, had a nice champagne breakfast, and going out for some more drinks and dinner tonight, even for us to have made it this far is remarkable and hopefully its goes from strength to strength. Plus moving here to Germany has made me more happier and relaxed and both of us are enjoying life.

[sj33]

I've 'officially' been with my girlfriend for six months as of three days ago. Only a small milestone in the grand scheme of things of course, but we've de facto been together for a fair bit longer, but it still feels very good.

I'm in the UK for six weeks right now, and my girlfriend is visiting for a couple of days in about a week and a half. She could only get four days over here so not much time, but enough to show her around some places and for her to meet the family. It's the first time she's ever travelled on her own, certainly the first time she's travelled abroad on her own, and also doesn't really speak English, so she's extremely nervous. Still, looking forward to seeing her!

[Fastware]

To me its sounds like she's trying to force to do the thing that she doesn't want you to do. She will drive you away and into the arms of another woman, you need to confront her and tell her this or just leave now, its time to man up and tell her this isn't a healthy relationship and if her ways don't change your leaving, kids or not.

Not thought of it like that, but it would make sense. She's get to be right and a victim for more attention.

[DeathAdder]

My wife is and insecure, untrusting, crazy woman. I already knew this, but I just found a stash of proof of her searching for evidence of my assumed adultery. We've been on holiday with the kids and I know she just keeps the pictures that she takes on her cameras memory card. So Every now and then I back them up and save the best ones. During this (I've not checked for 6 months as nothing has been worth taking pictures of) I find movie files of my PC's screen of all the text conversations I have on Skype with any female. contact. I find pictures of all kinds of personal documents, some as recent as this week. worst of all, some movie files of conversations we've had where she's left the camera on in her pocket. Listening to them I can hear that what seemed like an innocent conversation is actually digging for information.

This is seriously some mentally exhausting ****e. She'll keep digging until she finds something that her "confirmation bias" will prove I've been cheating. At which point she'll confront me with it again. I'll explain it logically with proof and she'll assume I'm too smart to catch "this time" and the process will start over again.

I'd divprce her if it was not for the kids and god knows what she'll have to "prove" I've been cheating so I'll get ****ed over on the divorce for being a cheating bastard that I'm not.

FML

Has she been reading mumsnet?

If she has, then the advice, especially on the Relationships forum, is that if your man so much as farts in an unusual way, then trust your instincts that he is having an affair and snoop on his tablet / phone / laptop to get the evidence you need.

[fishbowlhead]

Has she been reading mumsnet?

If she has, then the advice, especially on the Relationships forum, is that if your man so much as farts in an unusual way, then trust your instincts that he is having an affair and snoop on his tablet / phone / laptop to get the evidence you need.

Of course none of those chicks on that forum have never had an affair, cheated or lied to their other half (not to mention talked to or received plenty of flattery from another guy via some electronic device), absolute bollocks places like that and all they do is spread paranoia to places where it's shouldn't be.

Edit. Congrats bubbles, nice to hear its going well in your new surroundings. Stunning place Germany and the women are awesome, where abouts did you move too?

[MisterBubbles]

Edit. Congrats bubbles, nice to hear its going well in your new surroundings. Stunning place Germany and the women are awesome, where abouts did you move too?

I've moved to Augsburg in Germany, which is about one hour away from Munich. Its a beautiful smallish town with enough to do and its own style and charm, but its more relaxed than say Munich, and it certainly beats Glasgow where i use to live, certainly no regrets about moving out here and have settled pretty well, but again early days and things.
But i don't ever see me moving back, unless something serious went wrong with our relationship, but i don't get that feeling and as said we couldn't be happier.

[QualityChimp]

Fastware, don't give up.
There's a problem you should at least try and sort out:

http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html

Bubbles: Glad things are coming up Millhouse for you!

[Lyris]

If she has, then the advice, especially on the Relationships forum, is that if your man so much as farts in an unusual way, then trust your instincts that he is having an affair and snoop on his tablet / phone / laptop to get the evidence you need.

Mumsnet - i heard that forum is a cesspool of misandry. Is it as bad as they say?

[Fastware]

Yes it is, it pulls back the curtain on what (some) women are like when there's no men around. There's a lot of wronged women looking to take out their revenge fantasies on any man they can through the relationship problems of others.
I know my wife does not know about that site as she uses "real life" mumsnet to tell the women at my kids school how untrustworthy I am or whatever I've allegedly done recently. As proved when she brings it up in arguments that even "XYZ" mother at the school agrees with her.

You know it's easy to agree with someone when you have a one-sided story. Even my own mother questioned me when my brother told her what I was allegedly doing as reported to him by my wife. My mum loves me, but still asked "Why would she say something like that then if it was not true?" A no smoke without fire response.

Anyway yesterdays craziness was making jelly. She tutted, rolled her eyes and called me Stuuupid because I was making jelly wrong. I didn't put enough water in. Instructions "Add 1/2 pint of hot water, dissolve jelly and then add more cold water to make up to 1 pint for quicker setting."

Wife: should be 1 and 1/2 pints of water total.

Even when I read out the instructions and explained the concept of "up to" I was still an idiot and wrong.

I could probably post at least once a day of the attitude and craziness I have to put up with from her if I wanted.

[Brad]

Please do. For our amusement!

[Guts]

As proved when she brings it up in arguments that even "XYZ" mother at the school agrees with her.

Just print out the opinions from guys here as your proof. "Even FSW from the forums agrees with me!"

I'll start: You're wrong about making the jelly, woman!

[vanpeebles]

You should turn the tables round and spend all day snooping on what she does

[Fastware]

Please do. For our amusement!

I came home from work one day and she had a storm face on.

Her: You!

Me: What?

Her: you know what you've done!

So back and forwards for about 15 minutes with her trying to get me to admit to something and me having no idea what I've supposedly done.


So in the end she confronts me with it. "I had a dream that in the future you will cheat on me with a younger woman and she'll steal all the money from your credit cards!"

[Fastware]

You should turn the tables round and spend all day snooping on what she does

I found a diary/notebook of hers once. It was evidence of what a bad guy I was with entries such as;

Left toilet seat up
Drank 3 cans of beer when I said he could only have 2
told me to shut up
Acting suspiciously

No context at all, just dates and stuff like that.

[nakamura]

Keep it. Evidence of a nutter for when you separate and she tries to stop you seeing the kids.