The joke thread 2014 edition

[VR46]

As seen on Australian My Kitchen Rules last week....

How do you get Pickahu on a bus? Poke him on.

[Pavey]

I got into a horrible situation at a swinger's party last night. I was at one end of a lady when i looked up and realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad.
I said, "After 30 years of marriage i can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum."
He said, "I'm not".

[punio75]

i really shouldn't be reading this at work

[Pavey]

That was the edited version too

[wicky]

As seen on Australian My Kitchen Rules last week....

How do you get Pickahu on a bus? Poke him on.

What does a pokemon do in a sweet shop ? Pick-a-chew

[charlesr]

(2 Stormtroopers)
"What's for dinner dad?"
"Wookie steak"
"Is it any good?"
"It's a little Chewy"

[Deuteros]

A woman and her young daughter are browsing the dolls at a toy store. The woman approaches a staff member and asks:

- Does Barbie come with Ken?

To which he replied:

- No. Barbie and Ken are partners, but she only comes with Action Man.

Note: I toned it down a notch, the original version is a bit more graphic.

[QualityChimp]

"Doctor, I can't stop wife swapping!"

"How does your wife feel?"

"Phwoar, really firm and juicy, how about yours?"