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Reviews of retro video games

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  • Super Meat Boy Review - Microsoft Xbox360 XBLA

    Super Meat Boy Review - Microsoft Xbox360 XBLA

    Instead of reviewing Super Meat Boy, I’ve decided to review you. Graphics. Hmm, could be a bit better but they'll do. Lasting appeal. Largely depends on how well the graphics hold up later on. Gameplay, you like to think you’re pretty good, don’t you? You’ve completed Call of Halo 9 on Vetendary, and killed over 9,000 12 year old American boys, after all. You’re wrong though, you’re rubbish at games and Super Meat Boy is here to prove it. Overall, I award you a 1980s videogame magazine st...
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  • Onore No Shinzuru Michu Wo Yuke Review - Sony PSP

    Onore No Shinzuru Michu Wo Yuke Review - Sony PSP

    It took about half an hour for the catchily titled Onore no Shinzuru Michi wo Yuke to get me. I felt okay alighting a train at King’s Cross, but, standing on the escalator to the Underground, I suddenly found myself convinced that this slow descent was necessary, so that the next me would get down quicker. Not the most stable of thoughts. At Euston a lady got on (normal), sat next to me (less normal), and began to eat a yoghurt (a bit weird). I silently imagined the next her eating the tasty snack...
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  • Rhythm Tengoku (Heaven) Review - Nintendo GBA

    Rhythm Tengoku (Heaven) Review - Nintendo GBA

    Every now and then a game comes along that’s so simple in concept that it’s a wonder it hasn’t been thought of before. Indeed, when first picking up and playing Rhythm Tengoku (Paradise), it’s so devastatingly simple and right that you’ll wish someone had thought of it sooner. Made in Wario games are excellent fun. Rhythm action games are excellent fun. Idea: merge them both together for maximum awesomeness. Cha ching!
    Taking the mini-game style one step further with the addition of a ...
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  • One Piece Treasure Battle Review - Nintendo Gamecube

    One Piece Treasure Battle Review - Nintendo Gamecube

    One Piece Treasure Battle is not your standard crazy Jap game. No. As crazy Japanese stuff goes, this is away with the fairies. From the moment you turn the machine on it is clear that Bandai's multiplayer is aimed squarely at fans of the From TV Animation anime series, One Piece. The anime revolves around Luffy and his group of Pirates, and how their friendships develop during their searches for treasure. However, there is absolutely no need to have seen said anime to appreciate the Gamecube version...
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  • Alien Hominid Review - Nintendo Gamecube

    Alien Hominid Review - Nintendo Gamecube

    The opening sequence of Alien Hominid shows a cute alien wrenching at the broken controls of his doomed flying saucer with accompanying amusing facial expressions. It’s actually funny, scoring instant empathy for the lead character, whose forebears have mostly been persecuted in videogames since Space Invaders. The game gives you a heavy dose of completely over-the-top side-scrolling shmup action in the style of Metal Slug, along with some added extras. Released at a bargain price, it’s the...
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  • Meteos Review - Nintendo DS

    Meteos Review - Nintendo DS

    We want you! Save our planet! Meteos greets you with a call to enlist – a war is raging and recruits are needed to protect the system from certain doom. So once you have stopped gawking at the lush intro sequence, it’s time to start worrying about how to repel the deadly attack of the meteors and send them back from whence they came.
    Puzzle games crop up a fair bit. They often have falling blocks. Meteos goes one step further and has blocks being thrown right at you. It lulls you into ...
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  • Driver: San Francisco Review - Microsoft Xbox360

    Driver: San Francisco Review - Microsoft Xbox360

    Reflections have been mixing things up a little with their last few Driver games. Tweaking and changing the traditional formula to try and take the series down a new path, and with San Francisco they've managed to successfully fuse the core elements that made the original titles so well loved with a novel concept that brings a lot of new options to the table. The vast bulk of the proceedings actually play out within cop-lead Tanner's coma-induced dreams, as the player attempts to unravel crime boss...
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  • Loopop Cube: Lup * Salad Review - Nintendo DS

    Loopop Cube: Lup * Salad Review - Nintendo DS

    It’s tempting to call Loopop Cube: Lup * Salad DS the best game for public transport since Guru Logic Champ hit the Game Boy Advance. High praise indeed. The small, colourful, self-contained puzzles lend themselves almost perfectly to ten-minute bursts of play while you travel from A to B. However, as you obliviously speed through B for the eighth time, completely immersed in a puzzle, you’ll curse the day the suggestion was ever made.
    Salad is a young girl and, ironically, considering her n...
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  • DJ Max Portable Review - Sony PSP

    DJ Max Portable Review - Sony PSP

    While in the west, the PSP’s software library has been plagued by sub-standard ports of home console releases and faceless racers, in Japan the system has seen a steady stream of intriguing rhythm-action titles. From the bonkers Gitaroo Man Live! and Taiko no Tatsujin Portable, to upcoming releases such as the return of PaRappa the Rappa and a portable adaptation of Studio 9’s Pump It Up EXCEED, there’s enough variety to rock the socks of even the most hardened of rhythm-action veterans. DJ...
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  • Mushihimesama Futari ver 1.5 Review - Microsoft Xbox360

    Mushihimesama Futari ver 1.5 Review - Microsoft Xbox360

    The fact that the Xbox 360 has somehow bizarrely become the shmup connoisseurs' console of choice is well documented. Cave, Treasure and G.rev have taken to the console in a big way and have released a good number of retail games for the system after being rebuffed by Microsoft when trying to release them on XBLA. Unfortunately, though, these games have existed as the expensive purview of importers, not only requiring a Japanese console to play them on, but also carrying a higher than average price...
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  • Motion Gravure Review - Sony PS2
    by Archives
    In this image-obsessed industry, it's critical that a game projects a strong sense of identity. With an identity comes a target audience. Sony have arguably captured the 'twenty-something male' flag and, to consolidate this position, Sony Music Entertainment releases this: a game featuring nothing but scantily clad females. Oh, and some very nice scenery.
    ...
    21-08-2023, 12:13
  • Devil May Cry 3 Review - Sony PS2
    by Archives
    Family reunions tend to follow one of two distinct protocols: everyone meets up, reminisces and has a good old chat and a laugh; or everyone meets up, reminisces and remembers why it’s been so long since they last saw each other, the evening ending in a ferocious argument. Why is this relevant to this Devil May Cry 3 review?
    The latest meeting of the divinely comedic twin siblings of Dante and Vergil falls rather violently into the second category. Something about their murdered mother’s amule...
    06-09-2022, 08:30
  • Silent Hill 3 Review - Sony PS2
    by Archives
    Fear. It’s something that collective consciousness values as a desirable commodity, especially in the pop culture spin of everyday modern life - An element that mainstream entertainment likes to use in distilled form when it comes to getting a rise out of our adrenaline glands. Whether it be watching the latest slasher flick, experimenting with the next extreme sport or avidly reading the current best-selling horror fiction… On the whole, we take pleasure out of being scared. Read this Silent...
    11-07-2022, 13:50
  • Viewtiful Joe Review - Nintendo Gamecube
    by Archives
    Pink Lycra. There just isn't enough of it in video games. So Capcom have bravely stepped-up to the plate and given us a game, starring a Hot Pink hero, clad in a spandex jumpsuit, that isn't afraid to be laid back and humorous in style, whilst containing some rock-solid gameplay at its core. Like a piece of candy with a stone centre, Viewtiful Joe is sweet and tempting to the eye, but underneath is solid rock. Our hero is introduced in the opening cut-scene as a bubble-headed, California-accented Sk8r Boi, o...
    15-05-2022, 11:48
  • Castlevania: White Night Concerto Review - Nintendo GBA
    by Archives
    Castlevania: White Night Concerto is the latest instalment in Konamis Castlevania series. It is the second title for the GBA, but the first Castlevania game appeared on the NES back in 1987. It is ostensibly a platform game, like its predecessors. Certain things have remained constant throughout the series- in all but a couple of Castlevania outings, the main protagonist (in this case Juste Belmont) brandishes a whip. Secondary weapons are also available. Again these weapons are the same as tho...
    03-04-2022, 15:57
  • Super Robot Wars OG Saga: Mugen no Frontier EXCEED Review - Nintendo DS
    by Steven Walker
    For the uninitiated, Super Robot Wars Original Generation Saga: Mugen no Frontier (Endless Frontier) is an action-RPG spin-off from the popular Super Robot Wars series. The player has to use attacks to keep enemies in the air in order to do maximum damage, and string together as many attacks as they can. Timing and knowledge of characters' moves is the key to success. SRW OG Saga: Mugen no Frontier EXCEED is the sequel, and goes to show that a follow-up can be better than the original.
    T...
    04-01-2022, 14:20
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