Conker: Live and Reloaded - Demo

[Prine]

Cant wait to see the Matrix level. I expecting some of the best graphics ever from Rare

[Adam Stone]

I was just thinking that Mr Prine sir, heh

Conker?s on the Nintendo 64 was a highly enjoyable experience I thought. Had some fantastically funny characters ? Gregg the Grim Reaper is a legend and needs a game/movie or cartoon of his own. The first time you meet him is pure genius.

Oh, and not forgetting the Great Might Poo. Probably the world?s greatest singing poo? ever.

It had a number of memorable and wonderfully executed moments ? but these moments of glory were so grand they sometimes overshadowed many of the gameplay sections. I found I struggled through some insanely frustrating, tedious and sometimes boring parts because I knew there was something wonderful just around the corner. So I suppose? in that sense it is also its saving grace. Heh

The game was clearly split into two themes imo?

1st half was mainly platform-based? cute, cuddly, crude and very rude

2nd half, I would say from the Beach-war section? it turned into guns, action and lots of death

Oh, and one of my favourite scenes has to be with the pitch fork, Frankly. He?s the script from that section. Its hilorous.

(Conker walks in and sees a bunch of haystacks jumping around. All of them stop except one little one)

Conker: Hey you! Over there!

*Little haystack stops*

Lil. Hay: Huh?

Conker: Yeah you. Apparently there's something real neat inside this barn. I can't quite see it myself. Unless, of course, some guys jumping around stinking of horse poo's real neat. Which, of course, it isn't.

Lil. Hay: Heh heh heh. This is pretty neat!

*Door closes behind Conker and locks itself*

Paint Pot: Hey Franky. I think there's a little fella over there just
comin in through the door. I think it's your turn to kick his ass is it isn't it his turn?

Paint Brush: Yeah yeah I think it's his turn. Franky go kick his ass go on go on kick his ass!

Franky (The Pitchfork): I ain't kicking. It's always my turn to kick their asses.

Pot: Franky just go over there and kick his ass Franky for ******* sake.

Brush: Yeah, go over there and kick his ass. Somebody's gotta kick his ass ain't gonna be me I'm I'm a brush I don't kick ass.

Pot: I'm a paint pot anyway I'm a ******* paint pot. Go and kick his ass.

Franky: I..I...oh, ok I'll kick his ass...but I'm not going over there he can come over here.

Pot: Ok ok hey hey quick here he comes quick quick just keep still keep still.

*All three of them act like they aren't moving*

(When you move over to them)

Franky: WHAT THE DAMN DIDDLY-SQUAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BARN!?!?

Conker: Well, I never. It's a talking pitchfork.

Franky: Not from around here, are ya boy?

Conker: No. I'm from the twenty-first century.

Franky: I don't rightly recollect liking your type...

Conker's thoughts: What the heck's he moaning about?

Franky: Therefore I conclude I'm gonna kick your butt all around this barn like there's no tomorrow. I is gonna stick my big fork into yers.

Conker: Were your parents related...like, before they were married?

Franky: Right. That's it. I is gonna give you a whuppin. Here we go!

(After you beat him)

Pot: I've seen some kicking ass in my time, and that is the *********,
crapest, crapiest, ********* kick ass I've ever seen.

Brush: Yeah heh yeah that was pretty crap. I could kick as kicking ass
goes, it was abysmal and you is a ******* bastard, stupid bastard heh..isn't he?

Pot: Yeah, he sure is. So, what're ya gonna do now, kill yourself, cause that's what I would recommend.

Brush: Yeah. You should kill yourself. In fact, we got a rope right here.

Pot: Yeah, we've got a rope. There ya go.

Franky: What kind of friends are you? Eh..a..oh, in that case, I is gonna kill myself I'm gonna kill myself right now. That's all there is to it...and **** you!

(Camera shows Franky hanging from the roof of the barn)

Pot: What are you doing he he he he. You stupid bastard! Ha ha ha ha. He hasn't even got a neck!

Brush: Yeah look at him up there stupid bastard hasn't even got a neck. He hasn't got a neck, has he?

Pot: I already said that. Shut up!

Brush: Oh. Okay.

Franky: I don't believe it. I don't appear to have a neck of any description. In fact, I ain't even got an oesophagus. Oooh.. diddle di damn. I is gonna be up here for some time.

Just reading this makes me want Rare?s Xbox update now ^_^

[Uli]

anyone remember the freakin cool music in the dance club? and Conker, left alone, doing some breakdance? that's what i call attention to detail!

[Goggy]

Its an xbox game.

loads of hype...

10/10 in all the official mags...

..and when u play it, its crap.

[Crispin]

And you've played the full game using your magic super-o-vision?

[Adam Stone]

Mr Goggy sir, people who have played and liked the 64 version already know that it is a good game. I think its more excitment then hype surely?

Well, it is for me anyhoo ^_^

I'm not overly fussed about the multiplayer though to be honest. meh. But another excuse to re-play conkers is absolutely fine and rosy for me

[huxley]

Mr Goggy look Conker in the eye and tell him you don`t like him...... go on....
couldn`t do it could ya!

Give in to the conkey one

[Spatial]

Can't believe the game is actually due out next week !

Can't wait to replay this game in all its entirity - it deserved more of my time than I was able to give it

[Destrukticor]

spatial this AFAIK is certainly not coming out next week i have never played the N64 version but have heard loads about it, so it has peaked my interest the demo is ok

Pays goggy a token so he can pass over the bridge he lives under....

you could say that about a lot of games goggy on all formats but only the ones you actually played...

*example*
killzone
everyone hypes
it is on the PS2
it comes out and then it turns out to be sheeite

the demo for this at least shows promise....

[Spatial]

spatial this AFAIK is certainly not coming out next week

Its not ?

VG+ still have it listed for the 7th. Any idea what the date is supposed to be now ?

[g-funk]

I thought it was next year

[Adam Stone]

It was supposed to be in December wasnt it?

But... i thought it was delayed until next year

*Adam welcomes a slight tint of hope that it IS actually still out in December...*

[Hodge]

As far as i know it`s out march in the uk so it will be a similar time in the us aswell.

[Adam Stone]

Yeh, March was when i thought it was to be honest...

Same sorta time as Jade Empire, so my Xbox will be happy then. Quite a nice start to 2005 really with Resident Evil 4, Animal Crossing DS and Yoshi Touch an Go too ^_^

[Goggy]

Actually i don't think Killzone was hyped that much compared to Halo2 or Fable, (and yes, they both are very average, in my opinion).

I just don't want you to get hurt.

OK, i hope i don't have to come back later and say "i told you so!"

Don't get me wrong i want it to be a good game, but on current form, i can't say i'm dribbling in excitement