I know we already have the official 'Replay Appreciate' thread and we've had retro games of the month in the past, but I've decided to kick off my own exclusive series of topics that will see me boring you to tears whilst playing a myriad of classic (and not so classic) games.
First up, Dynamite Duke for the Megadrive.
I bloody loved the game in the arcades, and when I discovered a Megadrive conversion was on its way I could barely contain my excitement.
I was a little less pleased when I completed it on my first sitting but hey, it was fun while it lasted.
So anyway, here goes.
Level 1. Game on!
It looks a bit like Operation Wolf, but you can 'see' your guy on screen, as it were.
Crossed Swords for the Neo-Geo was a bit like this. Those yellow things shaped like Walkers Crisps are, I am reliably informed, what bullets look like when viewed in glorious 16-bit vision.
This dude is the first boss and he thankfully comes in close so you can have a go at using Duke's dukes.
BOSH! Take that, sunshine!
Well that was easy. Level 2 - a town that happens to be otherwise occupied. I wonder what it's doing? Washing its hair, perhaps?
Don't worry, I'll fit some more **** jokes in before the end.
WTF? Why is a gun emplacement coming out of the road? Do they put them there to deal with people that double-park?
I'm no expert on aviation law, but I think that helicopter might be flying a bit low.
Oooooh. Spooky corridor. Wonder what could be at the end?
Ah, it's the end of level boss. He shoots these fireballs at you and presents a much harder challenge than the previous fella.
Level 3. Woods. Presumably unoccupied, cos they would have said so, right?
Lying bastards! These woods are crawling with baddies!
This tank isn't normally red, it's cos I'm shooting at it. In the crazy world of Dynamite Duke, things turn red when they're hurt, you see.
Not hurt as in upset, but rather when they're taking damage. Here I've destroyed a bridge. This is beginning to drag on a bit now.
The fourth stage is a tunnel. Doesn't really get the pulse racing.
You might like to know that Dynamite Duke is by the same chaps who did Raiden - trufax.
These baddies appear to be 'art terrorists' cos they're hurling spray cans at me.
Tsk. Only four levels in and they're already recycling boss sprites. This chap now comes with a lightsaber rip-off.
I think people remember Raiden more than Duke, don't you?
These enemies appear to be throwing Christmas decorations at me now.
Another reused boss sprite? Lazy bastards, eh?
OK, a lab. Must be getting near the end now.
Have you noticed how Duke seems to walk sideways through life, like some kind of death-dealing crab?
This is a strange boss. These blue guys collapse into a pile of clothes, and then spring back to life again. The real target is the robot thing to the right.
The final boss! Judging from his attire and general appearance, he's probably called Baron Von Ripburger or something. I dunno, cos I never read the instructions.
He dies pretty swiftly, but then transforms into...
...this nasty bastard!
This dude is really tough, not to mention cheap as hell.
He tickles you to death from a safe distance, like so.
Oh you complete and utter turd. I was right near the end as well!
First up, Dynamite Duke for the Megadrive.
I bloody loved the game in the arcades, and when I discovered a Megadrive conversion was on its way I could barely contain my excitement.
I was a little less pleased when I completed it on my first sitting but hey, it was fun while it lasted.
So anyway, here goes.
Level 1. Game on!
It looks a bit like Operation Wolf, but you can 'see' your guy on screen, as it were.
Crossed Swords for the Neo-Geo was a bit like this. Those yellow things shaped like Walkers Crisps are, I am reliably informed, what bullets look like when viewed in glorious 16-bit vision.
This dude is the first boss and he thankfully comes in close so you can have a go at using Duke's dukes.
BOSH! Take that, sunshine!
Well that was easy. Level 2 - a town that happens to be otherwise occupied. I wonder what it's doing? Washing its hair, perhaps?
Don't worry, I'll fit some more **** jokes in before the end.
WTF? Why is a gun emplacement coming out of the road? Do they put them there to deal with people that double-park?
I'm no expert on aviation law, but I think that helicopter might be flying a bit low.
Oooooh. Spooky corridor. Wonder what could be at the end?
Ah, it's the end of level boss. He shoots these fireballs at you and presents a much harder challenge than the previous fella.
Level 3. Woods. Presumably unoccupied, cos they would have said so, right?
Lying bastards! These woods are crawling with baddies!
This tank isn't normally red, it's cos I'm shooting at it. In the crazy world of Dynamite Duke, things turn red when they're hurt, you see.
Not hurt as in upset, but rather when they're taking damage. Here I've destroyed a bridge. This is beginning to drag on a bit now.
The fourth stage is a tunnel. Doesn't really get the pulse racing.
You might like to know that Dynamite Duke is by the same chaps who did Raiden - trufax.
These baddies appear to be 'art terrorists' cos they're hurling spray cans at me.
Tsk. Only four levels in and they're already recycling boss sprites. This chap now comes with a lightsaber rip-off.
I think people remember Raiden more than Duke, don't you?
These enemies appear to be throwing Christmas decorations at me now.
Another reused boss sprite? Lazy bastards, eh?
OK, a lab. Must be getting near the end now.
Have you noticed how Duke seems to walk sideways through life, like some kind of death-dealing crab?
This is a strange boss. These blue guys collapse into a pile of clothes, and then spring back to life again. The real target is the robot thing to the right.
The final boss! Judging from his attire and general appearance, he's probably called Baron Von Ripburger or something. I dunno, cos I never read the instructions.
He dies pretty swiftly, but then transforms into...
...this nasty bastard!
This dude is really tough, not to mention cheap as hell.
He tickles you to death from a safe distance, like so.
Oh you complete and utter turd. I was right near the end as well!
- It's all very vague!
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