Never thought I'd be posting in here! Slightly weird situation for me. I don't really need advice because I know what must be done, although actually doing it is another thing entirely.
I've been 'dating' a girl for quite a while now. We first started talking on Mixi (essentially like a Japanese Facebook) about a year ago, kept talking because it was fun and we had a lot in common. When I returned to Japan in September, we started talking on the phone whenever we have free time, and eventually met up. We've met up quite a few times now and it's always gone really well. We text each other all day, and some of our texts are like essays in length. We definitely get on really well.
I suppose the problem I'm having is explicitly trying to move it to the 'next level'. I still don't really like to refer to her as a 'girlfriend' or even our meetups as 'dates' because they've never explicitly been these, even if the implication is there. I guess I'm careful about assuming too much. But it definitely feels like she's as serious about things as me, and now have to try and get myself to grow some balls and ask about the relationship between us.
Things are complicated by the fact that she can't really speak English. Not really a problem in itself, my Japanese is good enough so that conversation isn't a problem (bar the occasional embarrassing misunderstanding), and she has recently started to learn English in her own time. It does make it a bit harder to pose the question though - I don't really know how to be indirect about it, so I might have to explicitly ask. She also lives in a different town - I live in Kyoto, she lives in Suzuka, and she works a lot of hours, so we only really get to see each other every two weeks or so when she comes to Kyoto (she seems to prefer that over me coming to Suzuka!). So every time I don't bring the subject up, it's another two weeks or so of worrying (I'm certainly not going to do it over the phone).
I know we've only known each other for a relatively short period of time, so I'm trying not to get too carried away. But I think we're also a bit beyond the stage of our lives where we're just looking for a bit of fun. At 27, I'm hardly old, but also a bit further on in my thinking than other students. She's 25, has been working full time for a number of years and really doesn't like her current job. I think we're both kinda looking for something to work towards.
We met the other day and I planned to talk about it in a cafe. But the cafe was really busy and I think I used that as an excuse to chicken out of it. We spoke to a long time on the bus as we were going from place to place, but also didn't want to ask about it in somewhere like a bus. Maybe I'm over-thinking things.
Next time, I just have to make sure I don't bottle it
I've been 'dating' a girl for quite a while now. We first started talking on Mixi (essentially like a Japanese Facebook) about a year ago, kept talking because it was fun and we had a lot in common. When I returned to Japan in September, we started talking on the phone whenever we have free time, and eventually met up. We've met up quite a few times now and it's always gone really well. We text each other all day, and some of our texts are like essays in length. We definitely get on really well.
I suppose the problem I'm having is explicitly trying to move it to the 'next level'. I still don't really like to refer to her as a 'girlfriend' or even our meetups as 'dates' because they've never explicitly been these, even if the implication is there. I guess I'm careful about assuming too much. But it definitely feels like she's as serious about things as me, and now have to try and get myself to grow some balls and ask about the relationship between us.
Things are complicated by the fact that she can't really speak English. Not really a problem in itself, my Japanese is good enough so that conversation isn't a problem (bar the occasional embarrassing misunderstanding), and she has recently started to learn English in her own time. It does make it a bit harder to pose the question though - I don't really know how to be indirect about it, so I might have to explicitly ask. She also lives in a different town - I live in Kyoto, she lives in Suzuka, and she works a lot of hours, so we only really get to see each other every two weeks or so when she comes to Kyoto (she seems to prefer that over me coming to Suzuka!). So every time I don't bring the subject up, it's another two weeks or so of worrying (I'm certainly not going to do it over the phone).
I know we've only known each other for a relatively short period of time, so I'm trying not to get too carried away. But I think we're also a bit beyond the stage of our lives where we're just looking for a bit of fun. At 27, I'm hardly old, but also a bit further on in my thinking than other students. She's 25, has been working full time for a number of years and really doesn't like her current job. I think we're both kinda looking for something to work towards.
We met the other day and I planned to talk about it in a cafe. But the cafe was really busy and I think I used that as an excuse to chicken out of it. We spoke to a long time on the bus as we were going from place to place, but also didn't want to ask about it in somewhere like a bus. Maybe I'm over-thinking things.
Next time, I just have to make sure I don't bottle it
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