The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[Pikate]

Also I'm hoping 'Do I won' gets turned into a meme(it was my phone doing autocorrect and I liked it). C'mon you lot, make it happen!

In on the ground floor with this...

[randombs]

BAHAHAHAHA that's made my weekend

[kryss]

Was gonna meet a girl today. She lives a long way from here, and was in the area for the weekend. Gave me her number so that we could arrange where I should meet her. Sent her a text a little while ago, and turns out she was already on her way home because her last ferry departs soon. Had apparently been up since 8 this morning waiting for me to contact her. So I messed up, didn't meet the girl and am now a sad panda.

Well, if she didn't tell you when she was coming your way what did she expect? You're not telepathic. On the other hand, over what timescale had you guys been arranging this? If you knew she was going to be in the area today perhaps you should have gotten in there a little sooner? Would you be interested enough to go to meet nearer her?

Not giving advice, just wondering.

Liquid has closed? I'm not surprised. I'll still have some vaguely rose-tinted memories of Friday nights where you paid a fiver to get in and got 3 drinks free.
I'm trying to remember what Zeus' last incarnation was called before I left...
Down the bay? Evolution still open, or does that have a new name now?

Had a different colleague at work commenting on the one who just friend-zoned me being single. "Yup but has no interest in me!" :|

Ah life...

[Fader209]

And she didn't think to text you in the morning saying she was about?

[wakka]

Don't try to become friends with a girl before you try and bang her.

[EvilBoris]

I hope that was meant to be ironic

[wakka]

Nope.

[kryss]

Um...That's not advice I will ever follow.

[Pikate]

Don't try to become friends with a girl before you try and bang her.

Assuming you actually believe/practice that approach (and imagining the kind of woman it works on) I can only suggest you're probably going to need at least one these links:

http://www.itv.com/jeremykyle/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_disease

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=cheap+escorts+in+my+area

[wakka]

It's not about not getting to know her, ingratiating yourself and making her laugh. But don't get in to some sort of vague long running friend type scenario which you're always hoping might develop into more. Because it probably won't. Make your romantic/sexual interest clear from the outset - with subtlety of course - and if she appears to reciprocating, keep it up. If she doesn't seem interested, or describes you at any point as 'sweet', find another girl.

Ah so I'm not 'rapey' I'm just an STD riddled pikey who frequents prostitutes? How rude considering you know nothing about me. Just because we can all post whatever we want to each other doesn't mean you should be overly familiar. This is why Ikobo got angry over the 'rapey' thing - although he overreacted it was over the line and you didn't apologize to him in the thread.

I'm simply stating my opinion and don't need to be insulted.

quick edit:

Assuming you actually believe/practice that approach (and imagining the kind of woman it works on)

Your story about the rugby player you went out with is a very conspicuous (and actually pretty over the top) example of the type of approach I'm talking about. You knew instantly that he was romantically/sexually interested in you, and found his cocky antics exciting enough to sleep with him at some point after.

NB guys he didn't forge a year long platonic friendship with her before making it clear that he wanted to have sex with her.

[EvilBoris]

And there was me thinking it was only dickbags and men from the 1950's who had that opinion

[Fader209]

Lol I do see the point Randicoot is making but I think we are talking more about relationships rather than getting down to the pants party. It is important to make your feelings clear in a subtle way near the start as it avoids the awkwardness later on and being that "friend that is always there" can be a crap position to be in.

[Pikate]

It's not about not getting to know her, ingratiating yourself and making her laugh. But don't get in to some sort of vague long running friend type scenario which you're always hoping might develop into more. Because it probably won't. Make your romantic/sexual interest clear from the outset - with subtlety of course - and if she appears to reciprocating, keep it up. If she doesn't seem interested, or describes you at any point as 'sweet', find another girl.

Ah so I'm not 'rapey' I'm just an STD riddled pikey who frequents prostitutes? How rude considering you know nothing about me. Just because we can all post whatever we want to each other doesn't mean you should be overly familiar. This is why Ikobo got angry over the 'rapey' thing - although he overreacted it was over the line and you didn't apologize to him in the thread.

I'm simply stating my opinion and don't need to be insulted.

I wasn't insulting you? I was just saying any woman who wants be "banged" without getting to know you is most likely to have emotional problems or be a wh*re?

As for your "advice" if a woman you don't see as a part of your daily life is making time and effort to get to know you and become your friend it's because she's interested just as you are. I'm not saying that will always go somewhere because if you're a complete douche she's going to turn around and put you in "the friend-zone" and explore better options (just as a guy would) fair enough girls get hit on A LOT more than men so have more options but women aren't some mysterious creature you can put in a box and whitewash us all with a plan of attack. I'm a woman and I share the same interests, thoughts and opinions as some guys here (obviously not you).

[Pikate]

quick edit:

Your story about the rugby player you went out with is a very conspicuous (and actually pretty over the top) example of the type of approach I'm talking about. You knew instantly that he was romantically/sexually interested in you, and found his cocky antics exciting enough to sleep with him at some point after.

NB guys he didn't forge a year long platonic friendship with her before making it clear that he wanted to have sex with her.

So? That was just how we met and I'd come out of a 3-year-relationship so was feeling very low and mixed up and there was this hot guy lavishing me with attention and compliments and days out. As soon as I actually got to know him properly I ended it and regretted ever being with him. "He" was the biggest mistake of my life. I just didn't know guys could be that douchey and uninteresting. Which I think is fair since before that I'd only ever been with one guy, who I HAD been friends with for a long time, a guy who was respectful and my best friend and yeah, in the end we realized he was at a point in his life where he wanted marriage and kids and a house (fair enough, he was in his mid-late 20s) but I had just turned 20 and my priority right now is my degree so for the next few years I wouldn't be able to be the devoted, attentive wife I would want to be. We all make mistakes, I made mine and learnt I'd never be with anyone without being friends first and getting to know he was a good guy... i.e. someone 'sweet'.

EDIT: Bit of any overshare haha sorry guys

[JSR]

Well, if she didn't tell you when she was coming your way what did she expect? You're not telepathic. On the other hand, over what timescale had you guys been arranging this? If you knew she was going to be in the area today perhaps you should have gotten in there a little sooner? Would you be interested enough to go to meet nearer her?

Yeah, should definitely have contacted her sooner. But being taught romance by hollywood movies made me think I should be casual, laidback and not come on too strong. So that was very wise on my part. We talked briefly (over texts) about maybe being able to meet sometime this week, maybe meeting halfway or something. I could probably drive up to her (about 3hr drive each way plus 20quid ferry fare each way) to meet her, but she lives with her parents, so I would much prefer her coming to my place. As I'm quite proud of my apartment I would also like the extra "charm points" I hope it might get me. I even suggested driving her all the way home if she manages to come down her someday, but with school, work and two dogs, it might be hard for her to arrange. Trying very hard to not read this whole incident as a sign that it wasn't meant to be or anything like that, and hoping she doesn't either, as I have become quite fond of her.

Fader: She didn't have my number. :P

Edit:
Pikate, there's no overshare, only undershare.