The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[nakamura]

Jazz, would it not be a good idea to lay off the weed? Might help you clear your head.

[sj33]

You know, I have a friend who's into all this "pick up" bull****. He's always lecturing me about how playing the "cocky funny" thing is what I should do to attract women. I couldn't do anything so fake, I mean, why the hell should you have to change yourself and put on some act just to find someone, right?

What's disheartening is that it actually seems to work... at least for awhile. I don't think he actually gets much happiness out of it... just phone numbers.

I have plenty of friends who do this. To be honest, I think it only works if you're trying to 'pick up' a certain type of girl, and also probably not a good route to go down if you're looking for a more serious relationship.

I'm very sure that I wouldn't be with my current girlfriend if I acted like that, for example. She certainly doesn't seem to be into games, and she sees the relationship as more than mind games.

[dataDave]

would it not be a good idea to lay off the weed?

Nope.

[nakamura]

Standard response.

[dvdx2]

Trying to get a relationship of the ground is hard enough without being munted all the time. Besides that, it doesnt really impress the ladies, when the 'cool' element wears off . The artifical illusions of grandeur it produces arent really conducive to a sustaining a relationship either; unless shes a stoner too, off course.

[QualityChimp]

You know, I have a friend who's into all this "pick up" bull****. He's always lecturing me about how playing the "cocky funny" thing is what I should do to attract women. I couldn't do anything so fake, I mean, why the hell should you have to change yourself and put on some act just to find someone, right?

What's disheartening is that it actually seems to work... at least for awhile. I don't think he actually gets much happiness out of it... just phone numbers.

There's a fascinating book by Neil Strauss called The Game (and an audiobook read brilliantly by Dexter Fletcher!) that see the author joining the LA pickup artist community. I'll let you read it/listen to it, but ultimately, he's unsatisfied with the seduction lifestyle.

[sj33]

^The friends I mentioned earlier actually swear by that book. It seems to have a massive following in itself, groups of people competing to pick up people using the methods in the book.

I put the book down after a couple of chapters and stopped reading. It's a rather interesting book, but I found it to be a bit of a kick in the self-esteem. I also realised pretty quickly that the book is not a guide about how to get into a relationship, it's a guide for picking up girls. Great if you go to clubs or parties with that objective in mind, but I suspect that many people are looking for something a little more serious than that. I think it's not for people like myself who get too emotionally-attached, either.

[speedlolita]

Bitches ain't **** but hoes and tricks.

[QualityChimp]

Bitches ain't **** but hoes and tricks.

[fishbowlhead]

^The friends I mentioned earlier actually swear by that book. It seems to have a massive following in itself, groups of people competing to pick up people using the methods in the book.

I put the book down after a couple of chapters and stopped reading. It's a rather interesting book, but I found it to be a bit of a kick in the self-esteem. I also realised pretty quickly that the book is not a guide about how to get into a relationship, it's a guide for picking up girls. Great if you go to clubs or parties with that objective in mind, but I suspect that many people are looking for something a little more serious than that. I think it's not for people like myself who get too emotionally-attached, either.

They start off with the intentions on getting guys more comfortable at meeting, talking, getting a girlfriend, but in the end the whole thing degrades into a phone number competition, making money out of the saps, and generally just a game of people with a list of lines and nothing else. Niel Strauss saw sense and actually met someone and got out of it. By the end your just left thinking their all quite sad, and still lonely. However its still a very entertaining read, and highly recommended, just dont do go thinking its all brilliant advice.

[QualityChimp]

^The friends I mentioned earlier actually swear by that book. It seems to have a massive following in itself, groups of people competing to pick up people using the methods in the book.

The author, Neil Strauss realises that the plan backfires:

"The point was women; the result was men. Instead of models in bikinis lounging by the Project Hollywood pool all day, we had pimply teenagers, bespectacled businessmen, tubby students, lonely millionaires, struggling actors, frustrated taxi drivers, and computer programmers - lots of computer programmers."

It really is a great read and at first the notion of bedding lots of women is appealing, but before long, it all falls apart when they back-stab each other and struggle to relate to intelligent women or ones with more personality than they can handle, like Courtney Love.

[sj33]

It's slightly bizarre that so many groups and clubs have sprung up trying to implement what is used in The Game, given that the moral of the story seems to be that it's not really a good idea.

[Brad]

I only recently discovered that just being myself was enough of an attraction. Lucky me eh!?

[Fader209]

There's a fascinating book by Neil Strauss called The Game (and an audiobook read brilliantly by Dexter Fletcher!) that see the author joining the LA pickup artist community. I'll let you read it/listen to it, but ultimately, he's unsatisfied with the seduction lifestyle.

Pretty sure I still have that book in my loft so if anyone wants it give me a shout. It's an interesting read but ultimately it boils down to being confident and getting out there.

[Brad]

Hmmmm, drink postponed. D'oh! I suspect postponed indefinitely.