The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[nakamura]

What a strange story. What does the shop you work in sell?

I run a betting shop, plenty of problems with customers mixing drinking in the pub opposite and gambling.

[marcus]

Today at work two of my customers had a fight. One caught the other a beaut in the face and it cut his eye badly. There was blood all over my counter which I then had to clean up. While on the phone to the police, the manager of my 'rival' shop came in. Turned out he had a row with the guy in my shop who was bleeding. I tried to ask the manager to come back in half hour as it was causing angry guy to make a mess with the blood from his face. He refused to leave after several very polite attemps so I ended up juggling a shop full of punters, blood, violence and cash. I ended up losing my temper and telling this other manager to eff off so I could deal with the bloody guy.

It was all finally sorted and the manager came back and had the cheek to critisice how I run my shop and that I am a terrible manager because I swore at him!! He wouldn't have it that I asked him politely for no reason and couldn't accept that I had to ask him to leave as I had to stop the other guy from bleeding all over the shop.
What a cheek!
What makes it even worse is that I have known this other manager for 10 years and used to work in the same shop as him!

Sounds like the old CEX/Gamestation rivalry has escalated somewhat in recent times

[QualityChimp]

It's the pissing day before my birthday so I can see me being forgotten as my staunchly Royalist family decide that Wills getting hitched is more important than their own flesh & blood.

Balls!!

Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, teddy?

It's my birthday the day after too and I'm pretty sure the Monday is the May Day bank holiday.

That's four whole days to celebrate your birthday and partay!

Bring...it...on!

[prinnysquad]

I was on yard duty today, and some kids from my class came running up.

"Sir, someone's sworn on some wood."
"Pardon? Sworn on some wood?"
"Yeah, sworn on a bit of wood."
"Sworn on a bit of wood? Are you sure about this?"
"Yes, it's over there."
"Show me."

So they went running off to the corner of the yard, and lifted up this big lump of wood. It was like a slat from a fence, but about a third of the size, and with one jagged, snapped edge.

Written in crystal-clear black ink on the surface of the wood:
F*CK YOU

It was disgraceful. It was also bloody hilarious. Just the fact that it was underlined almost set me off sniggering. It took every inch of resolve for me to frown and thank the girls for their diligence before wandering off carrying my cuss-wood.

[charlesr]

Got (cuss)wood?
Yes actually.

[Adam Stone]

I was on yard duty today, and some kids from my class came running up.

"Sir, someone's sworn on some wood."
"Pardon? Sworn on some wood?"
"Yeah, sworn on a bit of wood."
"Sworn on a bit of wood? Are you sure about this?"
"Yes, it's over there."
"Show me."

So they went running off to the corner of the yard, and lifted up this big lump of wood. It was like a slat from a fence, but about a third of the size, and with one jagged, snapped edge.

Written in crystal-clear black ink on the surface of the wood:
F*CK YOU

It was disgraceful. It was also bloody hilarious. Just the fact that it was underlined almost set me off sniggering. It took every inch of resolve for me to frown and thank the girls for their diligence before wandering off carrying my cuss-wood.

Ha, that brings back memories.

Out of interest, how are you finding the world of working in education? I personally could only manage it for two years. The scary thing is, it wasn't the horrific students that put me off, but rather it was the system, it was the completely and utterly broken system. And that 80% of the teachers I worked with had absolutely no idea what they were doing (and i met two teacher-perverts across three schools... good times)

[randombs]

I was on yard duty today, and some kids from my class came running up.

"Sir, someone's sworn on some wood."
"Pardon? Sworn on some wood?"
"Yeah, sworn on a bit of wood."
"Sworn on a bit of wood? Are you sure about this?"
"Yes, it's over there."
"Show me."

So they went running off to the corner of the yard, and lifted up this big lump of wood. It was like a slat from a fence, but about a third of the size, and with one jagged, snapped edge.

Written in crystal-clear black ink on the surface of the wood:
F*CK YOU

It was disgraceful. It was also bloody hilarious. Just the fact that it was underlined almost set me off sniggering. It took every inch of resolve for me to frown and thank the girls for their diligence before wandering off carrying my cuss-wood.

This is a contender for the best thing I've read on the internet in my whole life.

[Spatial]

You kept it didn't you? To throw at VP the next time he skanks you?

[Kieran76]

Waiting for my in-laws to leave, so frustrating! I want to sit on the settee with a bacon and egg sarnie and play Fallout, but they just keep faffing around. Go home, I want my house back!

[vanpeebles]

Hahaha cuss-wood.

[MarioMark]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/260700641469

[randombs]

That is awesome. Only 32 feedback, though.

Can someone send it to 2ch or whatever for analysis? They'll figure out the car in two seconds.

[Friction]

I'm thinking it's a Corsa or perhaps an Astra...

[EvilBoris]

http://www.amazon.com/Adult-Reusable-Cotton-Poly-Diaper/dp/B000BF5JFK

"Frequently bought together"

Says a lot about COD players really

[Dirty Sanchez]

A Corsa 1.4 SXi.

His feedback is really really poor.......it'll be a nail.