The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[marcus]

Did you know that you can ask Google for the definition of a word?

Simply type define: your word and hit return. For example:

define: flange

[vertigo]

i know i harp on about this alot

but last night there was a programme on BBC 1 called shipmates

which looks like a 5 part series, last night was part 3 which followed a CPO physical instructor during her time doing the Field gun tournament last year

its probably the best way to see what i gibber on about

try and download it and watch it - last nights episode was fantastic

best time we got was 1:19.3

This is the thing they had in the Royal Tournament, right? Do they still have the Royal Tournament? That was ace, went a few times when I was a lad.

Edit: Hmm it would appear no more royal tournament, shame that.
"The field gun competition was held annually at the Royal Tournament in London from 1907 to 1999, and was contested by teams from the Royal Navy. After the demise of the Royal Tournament, the Brickwoods field gun competition was revived as a naval contest: it was won for the first time by an Army team (from 7 Air Assault Battalion REME) in June 2005."

[HaHaUK]

Did you know that you can ask Google for the definition of a word?

Simply type define: your word and hit return. For example:

define: flange

Flange:
The projecting edge of a structural member

[marcus]

Amusing user videogame reviews on Retail websites

You know the ones, found at the bottom of the product page is a section for people to add their own reviews for games and stuff. If youve found any amusing, or interesting ones, paste them here.

To start with heres an EXCLUSIVE review of RESIDENT EVIL 5 on the 360. Last I heard it was scheduled to be released in Feb 2007.. That didnt stop Darren Lee Fox from Stoke-on-Trent putting forward his opinion..

Last Saturday was supposed to be the greatest day of my life - I purchased Resident Evil 5 for the Xbox 360 exclusivley as i have contacts in Capcom. First impressions were pretty poor indeed, the graphics were similar to that of Psp, the controls were unresponsive and overall the gaming experience was a total let down. It is a fairly easy game to complete although i am on the final boss and need a little help - i am wondering if anybody knows what to do, i am in the dungeon with rebecca and have just been caught by the deli mummy butcher, any help would be greatly appreciated - Next up in Summer - Resi 6, i will be back with a full review on this sequel - i just hope it is better that this appalling resi 5 for such an exquisite machine - Peaceout

I think its tongue in cheek, but you never know these days

[Widegoat]

You know the ones, found at the bottom of the product page is a section for people to add their own reviews for games and stuff. If youve found any amusing, or interesting ones, paste them here.

A couple from Amazon about Hulk Hogan's Album "Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band."

*****Hulk is Here to save the Music Industry!!!,
When I purchased Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band's debut album in the clearance bin for 3.99 I wasn't expecting the drastic life changing events that have occured after listening to this masterpiece. This album is a musical journey like no other, you will have to re-think your whole life existence after 1 full listen. I feel like I am actually in fact the Hulkster himself when I listen to this album, there's nothing quite like driving down the strip windows down listening to Hulksters in the House! Although this album has rip-roaring in your face rock anthems, Hulk shows his true lyrical ability and hip hop freshness on a few choice rap cuts. Then, he's 360's everything and brings tears to your eyes with the Ballad "Hulkster in Heaven" quite possibly the most touching song ever made??? OK now lets just cut the small talk, if you want a life changing piece of art, buy this album, if you don't want to change your life and live under that rock of denial, than god speed.


*****Singlehandedly makes the 90's musically important
I bought this album in 1995 when Hulk went on tour with his band. To this day I still can't get enough of it. I used to use the line "I used to tear my shirt, but now you've torn my heart" to get girls and that is how I met my wife. I just got back from Iraq and it made me sick to see that there were any bad reviews for this album. It is the single greatest thing ever made and was used as a powerful weapon against our enemies in Iraq. We'd blast this album to get ready for an operation. And it was blasted all through the city of Falujah when we went in. Upon hearing the intense lyrics several thousands of insurgents surrendered hoping to avoid Hulk's wrath. When the brave Iraqi people went to vote for people to lead their country, this album could be heard from many houses and polling places just to give them courage. I love this album and I just can't say enough good stuff about it. Me and my band have covered all of the songs many times. The girls cheer loud as I sing "Hulk's the one". We've only tried playing "Hulkster in Heaven" twice but we have never been able to finish it. I am the lead singer and I get too choked up. That song has real meaning and I'm man enough to admit that it touches my heart. Of course this is a biased review. I was born a Hulkamaniac and I will die a Hulkamaniac. But I truly do love this album. I even legaly changed my first name to Hulk Hogan. I even look like Hulk Hogan. I am only 5'4" but I have the same haircut and facial hair as the Hulkster. People literally play "Hulkster in the House" when I walk in the room. Do me, America, Hulk, God, and especially yourself a favor and buy this album. Thankyou


*****Life Changing at the Least
I don't think I'm taking much of a risk when I say that this is the best CD ever made. It will change your life more than the entire series of "Walker, Texas Ranger". Everything about this album is done to perfection. The vocals and back up vocals are masterful, but what really makes it the top album of all time are the lyrics. They are poetry in themselves. A must have and good fun for all ages. "I Want To Be a Hulkamaniac" offers a guideline for everybody to be successful. And as the Hulk says, "Say your prayers, eat your vitamins too. These are the things that (Hulka)maniacs do."

[marcus]

Waaah my thread was removed and demoted to the Banter Topic... the shame of it...

[VR46]

courtesy of gamespress.com

JUST DESSERTS FOR PIRATE
Ice Cream Man Convicted For Piracy Operation
Monday 6 February 2006/...An ice cream man from South Lanarkshire convicted of a running a counterfeit piracy operation, will serve 200 hours community service for selling fake video games, CDs and DVDs from his van.

William Agnew (50) of Quarry Street, Hamilton, was sentenced at Hamilton Sheriff Court after admitting to the trademark offences.

4,000 pirated DVDs, CDs and games on PlayStation, Xbox and PC platforms were seized during the raid on Agnew's business premises in Priestfield Industrial Estate, Blantyre, on 8th May 2003.

It was estimated if the goods were sold as new, they would be worth ?100,000.

[VR46]

sad fooker

Man goes broke over Star Trek home

A Star Trek fan has gone bankrupt after spending ?12,000 turning his home into the Starship Voyager.

Tony Alleyne's flat in Hinckley, Leics, has moulded walls, touch-panel blue lighting and a life-size model of the show's transporter room.

He even built a command console, reshaped windows to look like portholes and set up vertical lights so he can pretend to be "beamed up".

He hoped his pad would tempt other Trekkies to pay him to convert their homes too.

He took out two huge loans and ran up debts of over ?100,000 on 14 credit cards marketing his idea and paying for the merchandise and has filed for bankruptcy.

Tony, who split from his wife Georgina after he replaced their fridge with a "warp coil" said: "I was convinced Trekkies all over the world would want a house like mine and pay me to do it.

"But I was wrong and just overstretched. Building it in my apartment was the enjoyable and easy bit. But then I got hooked up with marketing and merchandise people here and in America and it all got out of hand.

"I'm still proud of what I created but it's been a financial disaster."

[Spatial]

sad fooker

I remember seeing his flat on a Sky One programme on suburbia a few months ago. It was pretty impressive but totally impractical to live in.

If nothing else all the flourescent lights would have driven you insane and given you killer headaches.

[Spatial]

Is anyone else gobsmacked that squeeky high pitched Leo "You make me feel like dancing" Sayer actually had a decent singing voice?

I mean, who would have thought it?

[spagmasterswift]

Went out drinking with a geezer I used to work with and got hammered. Got a text off him this morning asking if I wanted to be his Catamite - cat?a?mite n a boy or youth with whom a man has homosexual intercourse (literary) - o_O

Turns out I'd texted him a soppy message meant for my girlfriend Darryl.

Mobile phones are evil

[Crisp_Rapper]

Went out drinking with a geezer I used to work with and got hammered. Got a text off him this morning asking if I wanted to be his Catamite - cat?a?mite n a boy or youth with whom a man has homosexual intercourse (literary) - o_O

punctuated differently it has another meaning... you meant drunk right?

[spagmasterswift]

punctuated differently it has another meaning... you meant drunk right?

I got well ****ed...erm...

[VR46]

Facts for the day

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only... Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can but women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase: "Goodnight, sleep tight."

In English pubs, ale was traditionally ordered by pints and quarts...

So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Oh and a joke

> An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
>
> The shopkeeper asks: "Are they twins?"
>
> The woman says: "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you
> think they look
> alike?"
>
> "No", he replies "I just can't believe you got laid
> twice"

[marcus]

Three Old Ladies

Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park
bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across
the park.

The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and
opened his trench coat.

Gertrude immediately had a stroke.

Then Maude also had a stroke.

But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite
reach that far.