Little things that irk you.. (no swearing please)

[kryss]

I am but the date I was referring to is Apeil 30th which is my birthday when I will be turning 30.

Hopefully the whole divorce thing will be sorted by then but the, admittedly limited, research I've done suggests it could take a while.

August 8th is my 30th. My divorce will probably be finalised around then.

However i have no qualms about dating right now.
...just been going after the wrong womens it seems.

[teddymeow]

What are the legal ramifications of dating while seperated but not divorced? If we both agree that the marriage is unsavable then meeting somebody else shouldn't be an issue, should it?

[fuse]

How the hell could a 360 game in a small jiffy bag be too small to fit through my letterbox, postie?! You put through one of these through my door pretty much once a week and yet this time you decide to go to the effort of filling out a whole card and force me come pick it up a week later due to your lame opening hours over Christmas. Do I have to come out and explain to you that sometimes you have to put things through one at a time?

[Dogg Thang]

What are the legal ramifications of dating while seperated but not divorced? If we both agree that the marriage is unsavable then meeting somebody else shouldn't be an issue, should it?

Well it shows you're capable of adult relationships and therefore it might still work out with your wife so, in those cases, they make you stay married. If after another twelve months it's still not working out, they make you have a child because there's nothing like a child to solidify a weak relationship. That usually does the trick but, if not, they make the mother-in-law move in to shift the balance of power until the man is so worn down he just gets on with it while waiting for death.

They have it all figured out so you're best leaving it to the professionals.

[kernow]

wtf you were happily married last week, i dont get it. wheres the post i missed.

[teddymeow]

wtf you were happily married last week, i dont get it. wheres the post i missed.

I know!! Came as a shock to me too!

The day after our 5th wedding anni / 9th together anni ahe told me that she hadn't been happy for a while and that her feelings for me weren't what they were. She left 2 days after that having, before this "conversation", opened a new bank account and found a new place to live.

So yeah, my marriage is over at the most "togethery" time of year and I'm in absolute tatters.

Still, could be worse...erm...maybe...

[abigsmurf]

"our landfill bin is full because we can't be bothered to recycle... Lets put our rubbish in our neighbours bin!"

Is it too much to ask for neighbours who aren't selfish twats?

[Neil]

Ted you still have us.

We're here for you man, vent away

Just make sure you

• Eat properly (not junk)
• Don't start smoking
• Talk to friends and family
• Go out don't mope on your own
• Exercise
• Stay off Facebook!

Write a script for 'Pussyhunter' it's a winner IMHO.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

I know!! Came as a shock to me too!

The day after our 5th wedding anni / 9th together anni ahe told me that she hadn't been happy for a while and that her feelings for me weren't what they were. She left 2 days after that having, before this "conversation", opened a new bank account and found a new place to live.

So yeah, my marriage is over at the most "togethery" time of year and I'm in absolute tatters.

Still, could be worse...erm...maybe...

Sorry to hear about all this teddymeow. All the best mate, & all that bollocks

[capcom_suicide]

I know!! Came as a shock to me too!

The day after our 5th wedding anni / 9th together anni ahe told me that she hadn't been happy for a while and that her feelings for me weren't what they were. She left 2 days after that having, before this "conversation", opened a new bank account and found a new place to live.

So yeah, my marriage is over at the most "togethery" time of year and I'm in absolute tatters.

Still, could be worse...erm...maybe...

Have a big man hug from Norway Teddy.

It could be FAR worse. She could have lived like that for years longer without telling you, and suddenly you would be getting close to 40 with no family.

This way she has left your life at an early enough stage, so you can take a break and then discover the wonder of internet dating!

It will work out fine. My advice when feeling low:

- Think of the things that you didn't like when you were together NOT the good things
- Do things that you wanted to do, but couldn't when you were together

Just because this didn't work out, doesn't mean you won't find the right person and have a great life with them.

C_S

[QualityChimp]

I feel your pain, MeowMix.

Maybe some salient quotes will help with the burden of a broken heart:
"It takes a minute to like someone, and hour to love someone, but to forget someone takes a life time." – Unknown


"Take away love and our earth is a tomb." -Robert Browning


"Bitches is bitches" - Cam'Ron

[teddymeow]

That first one is beautiful.

[QualityChimp]

Thought you could pick the quote that matched your mood!

Not trying to be flippant, mate, just upbeat.

My bro-in-law has just split from his long-term girlfriend and it's messed him up good and proper. Hate to see him in pain and also pretty helpless in being able to do something.

Just being there is the best thing, I think, so make sure you have plenty of family and chums to prop you up when you feel like slumping.

Seems like it's a little one-sided to me though.
Don't give her up yet if you don't want to.

Thinking of you, bud.

[teddymeow]

I haven't given up, I'm utterly defeated.

It wouldn't be so bad if I had an actual reason but I've pretty much been palmed off with "it's not you, it's me". Even if she'd cheated with my best mate I could then stop sitting around waiting for the phone to ring and for her to say she is coming back.

I've got all her stuff in boxes in the spare room and everytime I go in there to hang up some washing or feed the cat I see 9 very special years of my life preparing to walk out the door and never come back.

Thanks guys, I hope I can get through this and learn to trust & love somebody else but it's going to take a long time.

[abigsmurf]

Don't look at it as being your life over, look at it as starting the next stage of your life. Like you're leaving school/uni or changing job, as sad as it can be to leave each of those, every one you left, you left as a better or more experienced person.

You obviously had good memories, be happy with have them but fence them off. Don't look at them with hindsight and question what each of you were really feeling, did you feel nice at the time? That's all that matters. Don't get depressed thinking that as she won't be part of the future, you won't ever experience stuff like that anymore.

You'll get new memories that could even be better than any you treasure from her. The more memories you're able to make and the bigger the variety, the richer your life is. The fun is creating the memories, not looking back on them.

You may find it hard to trust people which is understandable but you don't have to go straight into another long term relationship. Live the bachelor life for a while, pimp yourself out, remind yourself how awesome a person you are, then, if/when you're ready you can decide to get into a long term relationship.

Also: spend a weekend walking around in your undies, check out your c:\work\backup\misc\ folder, eat that smelly/greasy food she didn't let you eat.

Outside of the motivational stuff, I would offer one concrete piece of advice: She broke up with you, if she ever wants to get back with you, she's the one that is going to have to ask, make sure you're the one that makes the choice.

Once a break up is 'official' pleading for her to come back is a very bad idea. You've a very high chance of creating some really horrible memories and even if she decides to come back to you, her coming back into the relationship reluctantly doesn't bode well for the future.