Women (woman) issues!

[kryss]

Smash her sister/best mate/mum.

That's the comment I was waiting for!

[Colin]

Smash her sister/best mate/mum.

I'm sure I met the girlfriend when Escape-To-88 came round mine to pick something up one day, I reckon the Mum must be well worth a pop.

[fishbowlhead]

Smash her sister/best mate/mum.

Tis the season after all

[bash]

Not bothered to read everything here but what I have read and will advise is a) Shes called you a jobless prick at least 3 times b) No man worth his salt deserves a life partner who'll throw that at them, even in a fit of rage and grovelling apology after. c) Being a woman it wouldn't surprise me if shes one of those who has a perfect image of their wedding day, married life etc and maybe suspects she wont be getting this with you which is why she taunts you with "jobless".

I've no idea if she regrets the proposal as dont have enough to go on. Having observed a lot of my British mates their relationships tend to form from smaller circles (compared to big-ass Asian circles which is a setup Im more familiar with) and couples end up getting together through forced habit rather than true love. I hope this isn't the case with yourselves.

[Lyris]

but at least three times now she?s called me a jobless prick

What is her job?

I've no idea if she regrets the proposal as dont have enough to go on. Having observed a lot of my British mates their relationships tend to form from smaller circles (compared to big-ass Asian circles which is a setup Im more familiar with) and couples end up getting together through forced habit rather than true love.

Interesting observation, and I'm glad I'm not the only one to have felt it.

[bash]

Phew Lyris, I really thought I was gonna get shot down for suggesting it!

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Lyris isnt the only 1 mate . Its like they have to be with someone or they see themselves as a failure, so desperatley jump in straightaway. I see some of my mates with their missus & they seem to treat each other like dirt & yet still be together, like its easier to take the **** & just part of every day life.

[Goemon]

Has all this started since the proposal?
Maybe she had expectations of what engaged meant but it’s not what she got… You talk about being engaged but you’re also talking about spending time apart so you can clear your head, which doesn’t sound like a great scenario.

You mentioned depression, this is actually very common (and at many levels) and the way she is acting, it sounds like she is unhappy. Whether this is based on issues she has with you or whether she’s using you to take the brunt, it’s something you have to get to the bottom of (I imagine it’s the latter). The only way you’re gonna do this is by talking it out with her. Sounds like she may be in need of some security, which it doesn’t seem like she has at the minute.

[QualityChimp]

p

I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er.

A bit dramatic, but sometimes I think people carry on in an unhappy relationship because it's easier than the thought of ending it and having to find somebody else.

I'd go and see Relate to try and improve things but if you both don't start seeing where compromises are needed, I'd start thinking if you really want to carry on...

My wife and I did The Marriage Course, not because we're having problems, but because we wanted to pre-empt any issues.
I got slated for mentioning it last time, but I'm in a happy marriage and if it can help others, I'm not scared to suggest it again.

[Escape-To-88]

Howdy all, sorry it's take so long to get back I've been busy burying her remains in the back gar.....eh I mean, doing some re-turfing

Thanks for all the contributions, suggestions etc. especially:

I'm sure I met the girlfriend when Escape-To-88 came round mine to pick something up one day, I reckon the Mum must be well worth a pop.

You did indeed, solid gold response And a back-handed compliment I guess, or maybe this is the equivalent of a love sonnet in Scotland!? ;-)

Sounds like she may be in need of some security, which it doesn’t seem like she has at the minute.

Yeah I think it was largely this. We talked it out and she made a massive apology for how she's been acting lately, to be fair I guess she has been recovering from an op. recently that has taken longer than expected and she's been in a lot of pain and there's a number of other issues like her pops was recently treated for cancer etc. etc. so I guess in the light of day it's not hard to say. Despite the recent events she's actually usually very encouraging etc. She did explain that her vulgar outbursts were linked to the fact that she was tired of seeing me waste my talent - as I have been supply teaching - which I don't really like, and she could see that was bringing me down etc. Although obviously not the best approach screaming abuse at someone!

Like I say I've been out with a lot of women so she is, believe it or not, good for me in most instances! And like I said it was hard to put a relationship in full context on the forums.

Being a woman it wouldn't surprise me if shes one of those who has a perfect image of their wedding day

Weirdly no she's the opposite, my last long-term girlfriend (7 years or so) was like this - very materialistic etc. But this one's not! She's pretty humble and always really chilled out, which is why the last few months have been so odd! I've known her for about 8 years (prior to getting involved with her) so know this to be true, she's actually one of the least 'perfect image' driven people I've seen and becuase she is involved in the wedding industry hate all the bull**** that goes with it.

I'd go and see Relate

Yeah was recommended this, so might be another option if it rears again.

I think we both have started to sort stuff out over the last few days as we have spent apart and I'm a patient man, and like I say I do want to be with her, and her me, and she has fully apologised and talked about it. So I'm willing to give it another bash, we all make mistakes and all that. So we shall see what the outcome is So it looks like it's answer 1a.) of Brad's (FSW) outcomes for now

edit:

Maybe have a look at what you both do during the time you spend together too. Taking her here, there and everywhere to entertain her and meet that 'fun' she's looking for likely won't work as she's probably using the term as code for wanting something more couply and reassuring.

Like you crazytaxinet I work with her part-time also, running her business (hence the odd prick comment!?!), but yeah I think the 'code' is probably correct and it's what she seemed to say when she explained/apologised.

[Brad]

Why the hell would he need RELATE when he has us!?

Best of luck guv.

[Escape-To-88]

Why the hell would he need RELATE when he has us!?

That's word son! Cheers Brad

they seem to treat each other like dirt & yet still be together, like its easier to take the **** & just part of every day life.

Been there, done that! Although it's important to not take understanding your partner too far so it turns into being treated like ****, I am a patient man and am becoming clear(ish) on what I want so will give it another go for now with a view that it will work, as I'm the last one to do this again

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Always best to take other ppls suggestions, opinions & theories with a inch of salt

[Escape-To-88]

Indeed it is sir! Just thought this would be a good space to get some opinions - which proved both correct and humorous!
Cheers one and all

[Colin]

You did indeed, solid gold response And a back-handed compliment I guess, or maybe this is the equivalent of a love sonnet in Scotland!? ;-)

It was indeed a backhanded compliment mate, she was/is (Depending on if you've buried her) a lovely looking girl. Apparently she's a bit bat**** mental, but lovely looking.

So relationship nonsense aside, the mum, would you?