Depression and Autism

[dataDave]

...and asda is filth.

[Charlie]

Imagine how depressed you'd all be if I went around chopping knobs off.

Haha. I dunno why but I found that far funnier than I should.

[teddymeow]

Been feeling really low the last week. Can't put my finger on it but it feels like I'm constantly foggy and gloomy.

Still on my anti-D meds but they don't seem to do anything. I can be sat at work perfectly fine one minute and the next I'm ready to kill / cry / run away and hide.

The weird thing is there's not much going on at the moment to have triggered this. Work is work, home is fine.

I just feel totally lost and don't know what to do.

[J0e Musashi]

I suffer from severe manic depression, otherwise known as Type 1 Bipolar. I am also BPD, so I'm pretty much ****ed. I laugh in the face of OCD as it's nothing compared to the first two. It's possible I may be slightly autistic, but I've not had that checked out so far.

I recently stopped taking my medication. I do it quite often in an idea that I can somehow talk myself sane. One day they are going to prescribe me Lithium, and I do fear that day.

I've still not entirely learned to live with being this way, but I'm getting there. My brain works in a different way to those of "normal" people, and I sometimes like that. Being able to do sums like Rainman comes in quite handy after all.

[ETC]

I suffer from severe manic depression, otherwise known as Type 1 Bipolar. I am also BPD, so I'm pretty much ****ed. I laugh in the face of OCD as it's nothing compared to the first two. It's possible I may be slightly autistic, but I've not had that checked out so far.

I recently stopped taking my medication. I do it quite often in an idea that I can somehow talk myself sane. One day they are going to prescribe me Lithium, and I do fear that day.

I've still not entirely learned to live with being this way, but I'm getting there. My brain works in a different way to those of "normal" people, and I sometimes like that. Being able to do sums like Rainman comes in quite handy after all.

The side effects for Lithium sounds just charming no wonder you don't want that ****!

gotta test the math skills D 6+7=

[J0e Musashi]

If/when they prescribe it, I shall flat out refuse to take it.

Six and seven? 67.

[MisterBubbles]

Been feeling really low the last week. Can't put my finger on it but it feels like I'm constantly foggy and gloomy. Still on my anti-D meds but they don't seem to do anything. I can be sat at work perfectly fine one minute and the next I'm ready to kill / cry / run away and hide. The weird thing is there's not much going on at the moment to have triggered this. Work is work, home is fine. I just feel totally lost and don't know what to do.

This is totally normal, i'd say most people feel like this a few times a year, and they don't have depression, its when those feelings last weeks and months then i'd be more concerned.

[nakamura]

Been feeling really low the last week. Can't put my finger on it but it feels like I'm constantly foggy and gloomy.

Still on my anti-D meds but they don't seem to do anything. I can be sat at work perfectly fine one minute and the next I'm ready to kill / cry / run away and hide.

The weird thing is there's not much going on at the moment to have triggered this. Work is work, home is fine.

I just feel totally lost and don't know what to do.

Perfectly normal way to feel. I have a pretty nice life and I feel like this from time to time. Personally I feel people are far to quick to label people nowadays.

[speedlolita]

I agree with that. I've never had any kind of anti depression medication or anything like that though, too much pride - or stupidity. I used to spend weekends laying in bed doing nothing.

Grin and bear it.

One of the things that's really helped me recently is deleting my Facebook.

[JazzFunk]

I think it's cool when people talk about stuff like this. It's still quite a big taboo.

Myself, I suffered an intensely adverse reaction to some bad antibiotics last year....f*cked me up they did...doctor didn't know what to do, stuck me on some happy pills (Citalopram 20mg) and beta blockers 'cos I was clearly uberf*cked. Took me about six weeks for me to get back to normal after the adverse reaction...but I stayed on the happy pills...and they're kinda cool. Cut down Tourette's-type thoughts by about 50%, think much less about minor worries, plus have curiously made me hate tobacco, I've smoked for over 20 years and the stuff now tastes VILE (gone from 30 'proper' cigs a day to 4 weedy, half-smoked roll-ups, yet ganja still tastes awesome - v. important). Best anti-smoking method I've encountered!

Worst thing is probably dodgy, hyper-vivid dreams...though these are often bossly. Antidepressants....it's an interesting journey.

[J0e Musashi]

This is totally normal

It isn't normal at all. He's already stated he's on Anti-d's. One should not try to convince someone else that he is just sad and that it's perfectly normal.

[J0e Musashi]

I think it's cool when people talk about stuff like this. It's still quite a big taboo.

stuck me on some happy pills (Citalopram 20mg)

have curiously made me hate tobacco, I've smoked for over 20 years and the stuff now tastes VILE gone from 30 'proper' cigs a day to 4 weedy, half-smoked roll-ups

Worst thing is probably dodgy, hyper-vivid dreams...though these are often bossly.

Antidepressants....it's an interesting journey.

Citalopram are modern day Prozac. I gave one (40mg) to my woman one night when we were drunk and she felt like she was flying for three days solid afterwards. They are some powerful ****. They make me have adverse reactions to smoking too. I really want to smoke, but then I feel really sick afterwards. They also can produce insanely vivid dreams in users. I've had some properly ****ed up Charlie and the Chocolate Factory **** go on in my sleep.

[egparadigm]

Interesting to read who has what. I have had Bipolar Disorder for 7 years. I couldn't assess the severity, but I have had delusional/'psychotic' manic episodes, which are normally recorded as a 10 on the mood scale used for classifying Bipolar. Although realistically I don't think classifying severity is really particularly worthwhile and certainly not worth dwelling upon.

One differentiating characteristic of the disorder is that, like unipolar depression, it is episodic. So those with the condition will only actually be unwell periodically and then will experience periods of normal or more stable mood. In order to have Bipolar, you actually only need to experience one episode of full blown mania, which is characterised by excessive talkativeness, rash decision making and potentially paranoia and delusional beliefs. These things seem mild when described in such a way, but it can be a seriously debilitating condition if not addressed properly and it will almost always be treated initially with heavy sedation, and many people will stay on that long term.

Despite my knowledge of the condition and successfully isolating my periods of clinical mania, unfortunately I do still feel unwell more of the time than I would like to. I guess I suffer from moderate anxiety as I am constantly managing my mood in one way or another. I could not afford to get up early five days in a row, or go on a drinking binge. Thankfully I have no reason or desire to do either of these things, but it's just a way of demonstrating how much caution is required in order to stay well.

My feeling is that the condition is something close to biological and that it's like a switch that can be flipped in the mind of a small part of the population. Once it is flipped there's no going back, and careful management is required in order to maintain the mood.

I continue to take a mid-range dose of 250mg of Quetiapine, which is an a-typical anti-psychotic medication. According to the psychiatrist I saw before I was discharged from care these days they are reluctant to prescribe lithium, and modern medicines such as Quetiapine are the go to drug of choice.

I also received CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) a few years ago and it did have a dramatic effect on my outlook and has been a key part in my recovery. This is particularly helpful in treating low mood, and is something that anyone suffering depression should investigate locally. Different parts of the country have different provision. I am lucky that Somerset (and Bath, where I now live) have excellent provision.

I have recently experienced some depressive thoughts, and was delighted to hear that here in Bath you can actually refer yourself for psychotherapy. Amazing! In order to really deal with a psychiatric condition, you have to be in control of yourself and manage your own condition, so it's great that this is now available so openly where I live.

Doctors are seen as figures of authority, but many are poorly trained in the area of mental health or will be prejudiced, so it greatly helps if you are self-confident enough to speak up for yourself, which thankfully I am these days.

A really important part of my recovery was that, during one episode, I would agree only to take the minimum dose of anti-psychotic and step it up. The best solution in a proper episode is to go in with a high dose and leave it there for several months, so this was resisted by my psychiatrist. However, since I had been in control of what I was taking I was able to judge for myself its effectiveness. Therefore I am now reasonably happy to stay on medication long term, since it is my own choice.

My condition has led to me being out of work for several years, but I am now trying to find work, depressing though the search is. I know I have made my life more difficult in this respect, but I am confident that taking proper time out of work to tend to myself has offered me the best chance of long term happiness. I know many people who have carried their problems into later life, so at least I can call myself lucky for having developed it young, when I had fewer responsibilities, and having had it properly treated.

[MisterBubbles]

It isn't normal at all. He's already stated he's on Anti-d's. One should not try to convince someone else that he is just sad and that it's perfectly normal.

Well if hes on anti depressants and feeling low, he should know what to do and how to lift your mood, im not saying he just sad, he's just having an off day, but that's fine, with depression you usually over react and small issues become HUGE but once you maybe relax do some breathing then you may see a little clearer.

[teddymeow]

It isn't normal at all. He's already stated he's on Anti-d's. One should not try to convince someone else that he is just sad and that it's perfectly normal.

Glad someone picked up on that fact.

It's not as easy as doing some breathing and trying to relax because when I feel this bad nothing helps me to relax. Even something like watching a film or playing a game turns into a 30 minute what should I / why should I / will I enjoy / what's the point exercise.

I really wish it was just that little things got under my skin and made me feel a little blue but it's more an under lying feeling of hopelessness which is suddenly replaced by an all encompassing rage.

I got in from work today at 5.30pm and sat on the bed in tears. Next thing I know it's 8pm. I just fell asleep. Now I just feel amazingly groggy and empty.