Divorce proceedings have started

[Neon Ignition]

I've always felt divorce law and practices are, frankly, disgusting. So epically skewed it's ridiculous.

[QualityChimp]

Definitely get legal advice ASAP as you can't change your mind later on and get your stuff back!

From what I've gathered from your previous posts, you're expecting a baby with your current partner?
I'm sorry if I've got my facts wrong, but if you are, you need to keep them in mind too as they're going to want taking care of too.

If you've been taken to the cleaners, that's going to be hard to do.

You might feel drained by the whole thing and feel like saying "Oh, just take it all", but you need to work out what you can legally keep whilst giving her the even split it seems you do want to give her.

I'm pretty sure in these legal cases, there's a specific clause that says if you have a full Japanese set of Neo-Geo games you are allowed to keep them and they must not be split under any circumstances. Does this clause affect you?

[buster_broon]

thanks for all the comments

when she left the house 2 years ago and i took it on we signed a document stating that she had taken all she wanted from the house and the rest belonged to me

financial responsibilities were also split two years ago

so apart from the pensions and gratuity she doesn't have any right to claim anything else

Like i said im happy to give her what she deserves but ?20,000 and my current mortgage could make me lose the house especially when i leave the current job and will effectively be um-employed living on the pension that i have, i know i have to get a job but was kinda looking for something easy so i can have some family time with my daughter.

rather than thinking she would settle on something decent the pound signs hae appeared and she is acting like a bitter ex where she must have everything she is 'entitled' to because the words, 'owed', 'entitlement' and 'settlement' have been used alot so she wants money plain and simple.

What's funny is that she has made sure to mention bank accounts have been split because she works in banking and got a good bonus this year which she spent on ?300 hair pieces and ?1000 plus louis vetton bags

whereas for the last two years ive been scrimping and scraping to get myself back on my feet, seems any money she gets from me will be like a slush fund for lunches and stuff

Going to have to sell my watch and a good chunk of my games room to pay the lawyers bills and one thing she always promised was that she would never take my room, even though on a roundabout way she is

[Lyris]

Sorry to hear about all of this. Sounds like complete financial opportunism to me.

I know this is of no help, but with divorce laws skewed the way they are, there's no way I'd ever get married. How did things get to this state?

[EvilBoris]

Does she know you post here, is it a good idea to be discussing it in public?

[teddymeow]

Don't know if it's been mentioned but make sure you apply for a Consent Order. It's a legally binding document that means once everything is settled and you've agreed what assets are split to whom that neither party can claim financial compensation from the other at any point in the future.

Helped me out no end andi know there can't be any "I need money" pleas in the future.

All the best mate. You guys helped me loads when j was going through it so I hope I can be of help to you Buster.

[Nu-Eclipse]

I know this is of no help, but with divorce laws skewed the way they are, there's no way I'd ever get married.

Pre-Nup?

[fishbowlhead]

Ive seen this so many times with friends and family, kept woman leaves partner, realizes that other people aren't willing to keep her in luxury she's accustomed to (or the money from the split runs out), bitter woman goes back to original partner and tries to clean him out with overpriced lawyers in tow, etc.


Sorry to hear its turned nasty buster, just make sure you stand your ground and get every scrap of legal advise you can.

[Dogg Thang]

My cousin is going through a divorce, she's paying for the house (and has always paid it), has the kids to look after and pay for and yet she's having to pay her husband money. Why? Well his work dried up, he never looked for work in other areas and so effectively he needs to be kept... or, like, he could get a job...

Odd how the systems work. Or don't work. I don't really get it.

But probably all comes down to the earlier advice: lawyer up and hang on to everything you can.

[buster_broon]

Yeah she knows I post here but I haven't been nasty or rude and just looking for information from others who have been through it so I can avoid any conflict so it ends amicably

She spoke to her mum yesterday and she suggested lowering the amount to ?15,000 which is obviously more acceptable, but I've made a counter proposal where I give her slightly less rising to ?15,000 if I get a job when I leave the service

But depends on how much she can trust me to stump up the other amount if I get a job, which I obviously intend on doing and considering i left myself with nothing to give her the equity in the house 2 years ago I don't see any promises I make changing

[Dazzyman]

Your going to have to go thru bank statements online etc... buddy and show what you paid out each month then request the same from her. It will show who got what, more you can prove you where the one paying for everything and she was the one that was blowing it all and not contributing when she should all the better for you when it comes to a settlement as you will have more claim for items, more money from house etc... Your pension etc.. will go on the time you where married as would be classed as supporting u thru that time, BUT if she was also working, standing on her own two feet and you where paying for everything she will have less of a stake as they will look at her as being solvent. It's totally different if she was a housewife or had children as they would look at 1, kids needed to be provided for or 2, you had a wife who didn't, or couldn't work as you so you were the main breadwinner and you would have to look after her for x amount per year together as a settlement then future earnings as she had never been solvent, basically she would be classed as giving up work for u and kids. Your also entitled to do the same to her with her money and profits, future earnings and pension, it works both ways in this day and age!

Also to add DON'T just give her money ie 15k, stop any further negotiations regarding money and do it thru a solicitor as anything you do can be classed as not counted. Ie you have a personal arrangement to give her 500 a month for x years for the 15k, it's spoke about in court discounted and she would still go for more. It's what solicitors are for and personal arrangements..well u get fleeced! Just be very carefull

Even then there are other things to consider from a judge which I won't go into an a open forum