Little things that irk you 2

[Kieran76]

I just take take stroll outside, pick up a handful of gravel and scrub myself clean.

[randombs]

I don't touch antiperspirants. Just regular deoderant. The idea of pores being randomly blocked in the name of smelling nicer just freaks me out.

[85 78 73 81 85 69]

Amzon.co.uk or more accurately their lack of customer services. Never had issues before so never had to deal with customer services.

Ordered a load of stuff including Kindle from them and paid for expedited delivery for today, got an email in work from their subcontractor DPD saying that they tried to deliver but nobody was in and that they'd try tomorrow but I had to have the delivery card to get the seven parcels from them.

Returned home and there's no delivery card because nobody tried to deliver the parcels. No card so can't get the parcels tomorrow so phoned up and there records show no attempt at delivery but somehow neglect to mention that there was no attempt to call one of the two phone numbers they had listed on the delivery.

Sorted it with them (possibly) ,note on account to leave without the card.

Didn't want to phone Amazon so tried their live chat thing, spoke to jennica who had no frigging idea what the hell was going on.
Jennica - Can I have the order numbers please?
Slightly Pissed Off Me - ORDER #0**************, etc, etc
Jennica - What are those?
Slightly More Pissed Off Me - Those? The order numbers. The order numbers that you asked for the last time you annoyed me.
Jennica - What orders?

After 15 minutes Jennica who clearly no older than a freshly fertilised egg caught on and began to understand that she had no idea what the hell she was doing, I'd known this for at least 15 minutes and I'm doing this on my own time.

Jennica - I have no mother humping idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing here!

What she actually said was "I'll need to transfer you to somebody else" but translated that's exactly what it meant.

So a couple of minutes later I'm speaking to Syed.

Syed - I'm happy to help you today, are there problems.
Ready To Kill Somebody Me - Do you not have the last conversation that I've just had with Jennica in front of you?
Syed - Yes, would you like me to read it?
If I Was There, I Would Have Killed Him On The Spot - Guess...

Five minutes later.

Syed - So what seems to be the problem?

Understandably, I wasn't particularly pleased at this point. just saying.

After going through all the same crap again he says
Syed - I have no mother humping idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing here!

Again, that wasn't actually what he said but he did tell me that I need to be transferred to some other sucker and when he said this my mobile started ringing with a 00353 number and it was Amazon, Syed then confirmed that it was then phoning which he hadn't mentioned before.

He asked me if he wanted to end the chat, and I sent this "I'm not done with you feller, wait."

Can't remember this idiots name but it got worse, I went through EVERYTHINg again and after a while of explaining.,..
Muppet Girl - Can you describe the electric razors to me please sir?
By This Point I'm Convinced I'm Having Some Sort of Major Brain Stroke - Um, sorry there's a what now?
Muppet Girl - The razors, can you describe them to me please?
Words Don't Exist to Describe My State of Mind Here - Yes, there's two of them and none of them are here! Grown ups? Can I speak to one please.

Took a bit of convincingbut she eventually agreed to connect me to her who I assumed was going to be a grown up.

While this was going on I kept getting messages from Syed asking if he could go. Every time he asked I sent "I'm not done with you feller, wait."

Anyway, had to explain to the boss woman again what had happened but agreed as a "one off" to refund the expedited delivery charges. I thought that it was a nice touch that she emphasised the one off thing as if they were doing me a favour although I did explain to her that if she didn't that at 5pm tomorrow I would report the funds as having been taken from my credit card fraudulently which seemed to make her reassess who was in the wrong here.

Depending on the delivery time tomorrow I could miss a day in work but the last fool and the DPD fool are going to phone me tomorrow to make sure all is OK.

As to Syed, I still have him on live chat after over two hours and every time he asks if I still need him I've moved on to replying to with quotes from Charles Bukowski...
"If you want to know who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence."
?My ambition is handicapped by laziness?
?Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.?
"I don?t seek solutions?just large spaces between not knowing and not wanting to know."
?We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar.?

Syed doesn't seem any more or less confused than he was before I introduced him to Bukowski. I don't know what time this live chat thing closes but me, Syed and Charles will hopefully still be here in the early hours if I get my way...I usually do.

Charles Bukowski - My soul is sadder than all the dead Christmas trees of the world.

[Guts]

I'm more irked that "Jennica" is an actual name.

[JSR]

Being sort-of sick. Not nearly sick enough to stay home from job with a clean conscience, but unwell enough that nothing is fun. Games, movies, books, food, music; nothing appeals to me now. So I guess I'll just sit here on the couch, staring into oblivion for the remainder of the evening.

[85 78 73 81 85 69]

No idea why but I've just received three refunds of ?7:74, ?7:16 and ?6:38 from Amazon which doesn't tie in with anything on my account. I only paid about ?7:00 in total but if Amazon wants to give me ?21:28 for no obvious reason I'm not going to stand in their way.

Just had another email stating they've credited me another ?1.36 for expedited postage on an item that I didn't have expedited postage on and was also from a third part seller!

?22:64 so far and if it carries on like this I could be in profit by the morning.

[Decider-VT]

Had a fight with a friend's girlfriend over Facebook and now he's sleeping on the sofa tonight. Feel quite bad about it. Didn't realise that the situation of arguing with a friend's significant other was a bit of a faux pas.

[noobish hat]

Why are the people who write guides for gamefaqs the most retarded little spunk bubbles on the planet? I just wasted about an hour of my life trying to beat the last boss in Mischief Makers, whilst following two different guides. NEITHER of them mentioned something which is VITAL to being able to beat the boss (and the game). Step down from your computer, stop writing guides, and HANG YOURSELF.

[PaTaito]

Why are the people who write guides for gamefaqs the most retarded little spunk bubbles on the planet? I just wasted about an hour of my life trying to beat the last boss in Mischief Makers, whilst following two different guides. NEITHER of them mentioned something which is VITAL to being able to beat the boss (and the game). Step down from your computer, stop writing guides, and HANG YOURSELF.

Because they are all about 10 years old, and regurgitating what someone else said originally, who himself probably got the info from bradygames...

Its a sad site, but we are all guilty of stooping to that level at some point!

[Brad]

This is a general problem with the internet. A person's desire to impart some knowledge is inversely proportional to the value/accuracy of said knowledge. If I won the lottery I'd spend the money on having actual experts in things going round fixing the internet.

[JazzFunk]

"Patrick" from Young Apprentice.

[charlesr]

I don't touch antiperspirants. Just regular deoderant. The idea of pores being randomly blocked in the name of smelling nicer just freaks me out.

Same. Seems wrong.

[charlesr]

This is a general problem with the internet. A person's desire to impart some knowledge is inversely proportional to the value/accuracy of said knowledge. If I won the lottery I'd spend the money on having actual experts in things going round fixing the internet.

I'd pay someone to turn it off. Then people might talk to each other again instead of walking around looking at facebook on their phone. And texts.... I'm constantly amazed by the number of meetings (business or otherwise) that go wrong because they were "organised" by text. "Er, I never read your text". If they had just phoned each other then they would have known if the other person was available or not, whereas with text, you have to reply and even then you never know if they got the confirmation, leading to an endless confirmation loop.

[fishbowlhead]

I'd pay someone to turn it off. Then people might talk to each other again instead of walking around looking at facebook on their phone. And texts.... I'm constantly amazed by the number of meetings (business or otherwise) that go wrong because they were "organised" by text. "Er, I never read your text". If they had just phoned each other then they would have known if the other person was available or not, whereas with text, you have to reply and even then you never know if they got the confirmation, leading to an endless confirmation loop.

The more people think they are in touch with other thanks to all this technology, the less they actually communicate on any sort of meaningful level.

[Decider-VT]

Depends. A few of my friends have rather in-depth discussions about their relationships and life plans with me over the Internet, which translate into face-to-face discussions of those topics that pick up from where we left off. I get the impression that it's easier for them to vent on the Internet and broach the subject there than it would be in person. Consequently, I've gotten to know sides of some of them I hadn't expected to, and vice-versa.

On the other hand, someone made numerous assumptions about me yesterday that were based on minimal information during an online argument. Kind-of funny that she could be so insulting and rude online when she can barely say hello to me in person. So... it's a double-edged sword. I hate it when people respond to Facebook messages and texts while they're out though. You're in a pub full of people talking to you!