The Relationship Thread II: Ding Dong - The Bells Are Gonna Chime

[Zaki]

Got a 23yr old proper after me. Serious. I feel a bit like a paedogeddon but I'm actually not.

I like Karen Dalmeny from DICKINSON'S REAL DEAL. She's my ideal woman. If I met her on the set of that, we'd be snogging madly behind a set of antique Chesterfield sideboards within about ten, twenty seconds.

Anyhow...my policy is never to TRY...I never do...do or not like Yoda said...it's true and it's the best policy for living life in a fun-type manner.

I just don't try at all. And it might take a two year fallow period of nothingness but then it all pings back like ping pong and I'm feeling like King Kong.

Life is actually quite nice, let's kiss and love and hug it.

https://media.tenor.com/images/0e7c7e21291aba5121ca9c186f552c34/tenor.gif

[JazzFunk]

Hmmmm...I shall go with the flow...but...



...

[MonkeyJuggleDX]

Still going to the 'clubs'. Smashed the granny out of a 45yr old on Saturday, got loads of women after me now. Guess word gets around!

Been 'experimenting' with fetish stuff and have now decided I'd be happy with a woman who was a domme mistress and wanted a bratty sub. Could see that being a huge part of my lifestyle if I could find the right woman. Ideally it would be Cate Blanchett, but this man aint that lucky!

[dvdx2]

Sure you didn’t nab those few paragraphs from the readers stories section from an old copy of razzle? Lol

[MonkeyJuggleDX]

Sure you didn’t nab those few paragraphs from the readers stories section from an old copy of razzle? Lol

Mate, my sex life has recently gone to levels of insania that I never thought possible. I think swinging is the future. Consensual, non committal sex with women of all ages. I'm living the dream!

[Zaki]

https://cdn02.nintendo-europe.com/media/images/10_share_images/games_15/virtual_console_wii_u_7/SI_WiiUVC_DKKingOfSwing_image1600w.png

[vanpeebles]

The year is 2041, fammydodd (lat. kuntus maximus), has inseminated all of the women in the world, either of child baring age or older. With the gene stock now ruined, inbreed, incest and illness is now rife. Fammydodd sits on a diamond hard throne made of jizzed up toilet roll.

Most of the worlds major cities are under flood waters, this will be the last age of man on earth.

Upon this backdrop, a lone adventurer, quartley chump, sets out on an adventure of world changing proportions. During an impromptu skating session, he befriends a strange nomadic camel herder known as zaki-zaki.

Along the way they encounter a strange trading post, ran by Filly Hiatch. In this trading post, any single item can be exchanged for a small round metal token.

THIS IS...........PLANET OF THE FAMMYDODDS.

[randombs]

[Neon Ignition]

I'm expecting a child in less than two weeks and let's just say after reading this thread... it better be mine

[vanpeebles]

50/50

[cutmymilk]

I'm expecting a child in less than two weeks and let's just say after reading this thread... it better be mine

You'll still manage to watch 20 films and complete 5 games every month!

[QualityChimp]

Yeah, it's those levels of marital neglect that drop the odds way down from VP's estimated 50/50.

Does your missus regularly say she's going out to "the swings", but it's never in the day time or with the kids and in the opposite direction of the local play park?

[vanpeebles]

Maybe he's like you, and just wants to be told about it afterwards

[randombs]

Maybe he's like you, and just wants to be told about it afterwards

Like Match of the Day but for cucks

[MonkeyJuggleDX]

I'm expecting a child in less than two weeks and let's just say after reading this thread... it better be mine

You anywhere near Leicester? Be worried if you are

I'm joking. I only do married women if the hubby is OK with it!