The Relationship Thread II: Lost in that Last Goodbye

[DeathAdder]

Having shared hobbies is good, but it is really only one piece of the puzzle - you have to actually like being around them. She might be a great gaming buddy, but that's not much good if you don't see eye-to-eye in terms of how a relationship should work.

My girlfriend has no interesting in gaming, but she also has no problem with my gaming - I'd find it difficult to be in a long term relationship with someone who did. On the other hand, we have a shared interest in Asian horror, that's actually how we first met and we often watch movies together. However, it is far from being the central most important element of the relationship.

I'd say you should just ask yourself 'do I enjoy being around this girl?'. If the answer is yes, that's really all you need you know. Nothing wrong with dating a gamer girl if you also like being around her generally.

That all makes sense. What I meant was which case do people on here prefer, the relationship otherwise being fine.

[Zaki]

I wonder if the wife can divorce her husband if he isn't willing to sleep with her?

I believe it works both ways in Islam.

[Guts]

That all makes sense. What I meant was which case do people on here prefer, the relationship otherwise being fine.

I would prefer that she would be interested in video games and geek culture in general. Would be cool to get excited about the same things. Common things certainly can't make things worse, or can they?

[sj33]

I must admit, I fear the day when I have to start justifying my gaming purchases to her. Would be easier if she shared the passion!

[nakamura]

My wife calls me a geek all the time.

[kryss]

I would hate to think what she calls me.

I'm really not explaining myself very well. I'll just stop before I sound like an even bigger arse.

[Zaki]

In the 11 months my ex and I were still together after coming to Canada I can count the number of times on one hand with ease.

The very same hand which filled that role (just kidding mate)

[randombs]

I don't consider love of gaming as an important thing in our relationship but that's because I don't play games very often these days. We have so much in common(musical taste - from electro to classical, IT Crowd) that it's not an issue but if we didn't then my attitude would be different as I would try to find common interests.

My gf likes rpgs(which I don't) and puzzle games(which I do but don't play often). She usually wipes the floor with me but I've been getting better at Puyo Puyo and stuff.

After handing my arse back to me she decided we should play Street Fighter. I warned her but she wouldn't listen. I battered the crap out of her in two seconds. I always prefer close games to whitewashes but I had to make a point because I was giving the impression that I'm crap at all games.

It's funny that people can have a life long friend they will invest everything in yet as soon as a partner stops wanting sex, the relationship is effectively over.

That, too. I feel it's about doing what you're both comfortable with. I believe if both partners are happy to forego (regular) sex then that's fine. Work and other things will get in the way and I expect the regularity would definitely take a hit if your quickies are longer than, say, ten minutes.

Sounds beautiful. The wife is forced to give sex or the man can kick her out. Practical, if you're a man at least in a 100% male-dominated society. I wonder if the wife can divorce her husband if he isn't willing to sleep with her?

Oh, absolutely.

Of course, in practice the countries that would implement a law like that would almost definitely be male-dominated so I'm pretty certain they wouldn't uphold it if it was the woman demanding it.

I would hate to think what she calls me.

Whatever she calls you, I think you're just lovely

[kryss]

Ha ha! Thanks!

Zaki: I like to alternate actually

Well 2 days from telling that one girl I want to be more than friends and not a peep back. No grudges, she's only here for another 3 months or so anyway. Moving along to the next potential...

[sj33]

Getting a girlfriend right before Christmas isn't good for the wallet anyway!

[gunrock]

No but having some help in emptying your sack does you the world of good!

[kryss]

So we spent the afternoon at the Heritage Park Christmas event freezing our toes off yesterday, then went and sat in a coffee shop and chatted for another 2 hours or so. She had bought some chocolate from Erica's in Tokyo to share - her favourite chocolate, her sister had sent it over. We ate some of that and talked about nothing in particular and the time just flew by. I'm going to be cooking for her sometime soon, and she practically demanded I take her to a restaurant for some Alberta steak.

I'm confused as to whether or not we are dating now...It kind of looks like we are, although I've still not even tried to kiss her. We're enjoying each other's company and that's all I can really ask for tbh.

[sj33]

Well, I'm a married man now.

It's a weird feeling precisely because I don't feel any different! It was a pretty nerve-wracking experience though, simply because the Japanese process for everything is so stressful and they're so picky about everything. We both convinced ourselves that they'd find something wrong with the documentation, though in the end it was all find (bar some confusion regarding how to katakana-ise my surname).

The process is slightly different in Japan. Your formal marriage is completely separate to any wedding ceremony, only the former has legal meaning. And the former process isn't like going to a registry office - it's literally just like paying your bills. Completely unceremonial. It's strange that a country that seems to have some pointless ritual and 'way of doing things' for basically everything in life would be so causal with something like getting married. It was literally just filling in loads of forms, and confusion about what the hell a 'middle name' is supposed to be.

Still, all done now. Any ceremony will be a fair bit later when her brother returns to Japan from Ghana. Plenty of wedding cards from the UK folk already though, which is nice. Not sure if it's a 'thing' on the Japanese side, but we'll see.

[randombs]

Congrats

I'll wait until I'm stable here but hopefully that won't be too long. How soon before you get your spousal residency thingy and can work anywhere you want, or do you already have it?

I'd love to apply for some goofy job like dish washing at Yoshinoya just because I could.

[Wools]

Congratulations Shakey!