Bad lyrics

[anephric]

Or, to quote Xzibit - "I beat the odds like Ike beat on his first wife."

[Darwock]

Not sure if it's Eminem (ehh isn't he meant to be some kind of good lyricist?) or D12 but it's 'Hellbound' - the track which uses Soul Calibur music.

Starts off with this classic:

The only key that I see to defeat you
would be for me to remove these two Adidas and beat you
and force feed you 'em both, and no need to be a cleat shoe

then follows with...

Am I the worst? Because I, never go to church? I run a red light then sideswipe a hearse

then...

And of course, yo, y'all know I'm no stranger to danger
Like Christ in a manger, feel a whole range of my anger

then...

My **** go as deep and as dark as a train tunnel
My flows spill like usin the wrong end of a funnel

but wait there's more...

Everyday I grow more older, and more colder
Fly you to Colorado, roll you over with a Boulder

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

[mid]

Behold the god-awful unspeakable ****ness of Athlete:

"You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
You got tears, making tracks
I got tears, that are scared of the facts"

Wow, deep, wires. Bollocks. And the way he sings it. Jesus H Christ, what a load of ****.

Hey, I hate Athlete as much as the next guy, but I fail to see what's so bollocks about that. You do know it's not a metaphor but a song about seeing his premature nephew hooked up to the life support incubator, don't you? OK, so a more informative account would probably have the song called 'Tubes', but that doesn't really work very well.

If you're going to attack whining indie bands, then try

Is there anybody out there who
Is lost and hurt and lonely too
Are they bleeding all your colors into one

Yes, Chris. You know for a fact there are, as you've already sold records to most of the poor bastards. Still, at least he manages to go three whole lines without using an aquatic metaphor, which makes a change.

[Big Seany]

I am not a massive fan of Athlete, but must admit that "Wires" is an extremely emotionally affecting song. It is about his son, I believe, and not his nephew - and anyone who has spent any length of time in a maternity ward worrying about their wife/partner/child/whatever will identify with it. I first heard it around the time my baby daughter was born, and must admit I was a bit choked up.

So I don't compromise my tough as nails macho image any further, I had better leave it at that, but I will add:

"I'll serve yo' ass like John Mcenroe"

[endo]

Hey, I hate Athlete as much as the next guy, but I fail to see what's so bollocks about that. You do know it's not a metaphor but a song about seeing his premature nephew hooked up to the life support incubator, don't you? OK, so a more informative account would probably have the song called 'Tubes', but that doesn't really work very well.

If you're going to attack whining indie bands, then try



Yes, Chris. You know for a fact there are, as you've already sold records to most of the poor bastards. Still, at least he manages to go three whole lines without using an aquatic metaphor, which makes a change.

I'd love to attack Coldplay, preferably physically, but for the mo' it'll have to wait. Regardless of what the Athlete song's about, the lyrics, in my opinion, are ****. Wires? Tears afraid of facts? Balls, I'm afraid. The singer's sub-sixth form use of language coupled with his ridiculously affected clipped singing voice, for me, rob the song of any residual emotional impact it may have had.

I can appreciate the sentiment as much as anyone- it's something I have experience of too- but even so, I still think the song stinks.

[amorenod]

David Coverdale's Whitesnake:

"Slide it in"

I'm gonna slide it in right to the top,
slide it in, I ain't never gonna stop
slide it in, right to the top,
I'm gonna slide it in, slide it in,
Slide it, in baby

"Lovehunter"

I'm gonna give you all my loving
And use my tail on you

Good old Dave, master of subtility

[anephric]

Why even cite just some of Whitesnake's lyrics - you might as well say... "Everything Coverdale's ever burped into the world"

[anephric]

"I was on a street with a common name
I prayed for love yeah I even begged
I had a vision of you that carried me through..."

Live, Nobody Knows.

You dream about having a common name, Ed Kowalsschiakmxyztplk.

[amorenod]

Why even cite just some of Whitesnake's lyrics - you might as well say... "Everything Coverdale's ever burped into the world"

Now that you mention it...

[Rsdio]

Suprised there's been no mention of Brett Anderson (post-Dog Man Star) in this thread. They got even worse on that Tears album, I think he's swallowed Brian '****e' Molko's rhyming dictionary.

We are the lovers!
We're different colours!

Obviously very proud of having a black girlfriend.

Your teeth are not quite straight
Your mood swings oscillate

Well he's not gonna keep hold of her long with talk like that. The most worrying thing is that he's obviously thought "That first part is brilliant, I really need to find something, anything, that rhymes with 'straight' so I can keep it in there".

And to think, Suede used to be so good..

[anephric]

"If I say "****" just two more times, that's forty-six "****s" in this ****ed-up rhyme!"

Do I even need to say who it's by?

[Big Seany]

"If I say "****" just two more times, that's forty-six "****s" in this ****ed-up rhyme!"

Do I even need to say who it's by?

Noel Coward? No, no, hang on - I know this one. Max Bygraves?

[bash]

I cant believe no-ones mentioned Queens Bohemiam Rhapsody? ****ing awful lyrics

PLus DMX - Bring yo whole crew

I got blood on my hands and there's no remorse
and got blood on my dick cause I ****ed a corpse (C'MON!)

[mid]

(holds hand up) I like Here Come The Tears, even if the lyrics are indeed utterly embarrassing at times.

For the record, Brett, Apollo 13 did not explode. Getting back without dying was kind of the whole ****ing point of the movie (you know, the one you blatently watched, rather than reading the actual history of what happened).

And I can't believe you let this one lie:

Europe has its moving state lines
But Africa has winter sunshine
And you and me we're just two creatures on the run

What???

[anephric]

I believe there was an explosion of piss aboard Apollo 13, though, so maybe he's referring to that...